Gratitude

One of my new year's plans was to post a photo a day onto Facebook of things I'm thankful for--and it really was such a fun challenge to get me thinking.  But the reality is that I've spent FAR too much time on Facebook since having Asher--mindlessly scrolling at all hours of the day as I nurse him, and not really reading or doing anything else I could be doing instead.  So I knew when Lent rolled around I needed to say goodbye to Facebook for awhile.  It was time to re-set some limits and boundaries with social networking.  Instead of posting daily photos there, I'm going to try keeping a list, and add some photos to it each week of things I've been grateful for in the past 7 days.  This week, I'm grateful for:

The fact that my freezer is fully stocked.  We have had 2 weeks now with no one feeding us, and every single day I am grateful that I just have to pull something out, add a vegetable to the side and maybe some bread.  Best thing I ever did to prepare for this baby!

Husbands who will say "I'll figure out dinner for us honey" and then proceed to grocery shop and cook teriyaki burgers while I am out with friends.  

Grandparents who like to snuggle

The way Asher dreams in his sleep, making puppy noises, smiling and almost laughing to himself.  

A conversation with Aidan:
"Mommy can I watch TV while you make dinner?"
"Sure, you can watch a bit."
"Can I snuggle you?"
"Well I need to make dinner but I can snuggle you for a few minutes."
"I need to snuggle you for 10 minutes mommy because I really love snuggling you."

Celebrating Luke & Sienna's 3rd and 4th birthdays with our community of friends.

New recipes that are a hit, a table full of color from bountiful produce.

Asher's cheeks.

Friends who come over in the evening when your husband is working to help put your kids to bed because you haven't quite mastered the art of bedtime with two.

A 3 year old who wants so badly to learn the names of all your friends.  And everyone we meet in the grocery store.

A husband who does the most amazing job with bath time, bed time and prayers.  

Baby thigh rolls--so in awe that my body is feeding and sustaining his body in an incredible miraculous way to create these adorable little rolls on his body.  

The way my lips fit perfectly into the space between my boy's two eyes, on the bridges of their noses.

Rosy cheeks and runny noses from an afternoon of sledding.

Two months old

First laughs

The chance to sit at a table and eat as much as I want until I am full while others jump up and attend to the needs of my kiddos.  

A few hours a day to sit and read while I snuggle a baby by the fireplace.

A family who likes to play.

Thankful Thursday

Continuing in my counting and numbering of the amazing blessings God bestows upon us each day...from the great to the seemingly insignificant.

825.  The opportunity to participate in conversations at church about the future of Family Ministry.

826.  Bright red nail polish.

827.  Playtime at My Gym with the little man.

828.  Being back on Fuller's campus once a week grading papers for Chap again.

829.  Our new Keurig that actually makes full cups of coffee (definitely NOT an insignificant thing!)

830.  Rachel Held Evan's book A Year of Biblical Womanhood--it has made me absolutely crack up laughing so many times & has brought me to a screeching halt with the insights she shares.  A must read.

831.  The opportunity to be given a free copy of Shauna Niequist's upcoming book Bread & Wine 2 months before it's released to read and blog about it.  Super excited about this chance to participate in the promotion of this much anticipated book!

832.  Homemade chocolate chip cookie dough in my fridge.

833.  The upcoming season of Lent and the challenges and changes it will mean for our family.

834.  FIVE new babies expected in my life late this spring/early summer!  For healthy little ones growing inside dear friends.

835.  Playdates and conversations with other moms who get when you have to cancel because of messed up nap schedules.

How about you friends?  What are you grateful for on this beautiful Thursday?

Thanksgiving A-Z 2012

For some reason Thanksgiving crept upon me this year--probably because it's a week earlier this year than it usually is!  Every November my tradition is to come up with a list of things I have been thankful for that previous year using the alphabet for inspiration.  This is my 7th year doing this, and is a discipline I hope to continue even though sometimes I have to stretch a bit to get a letter to work!  As I have re-read my past A-Z lists I realize each list generally ends up having a theme of some sort--some years it was school, last year as things were so hard it was actually praising God for many things in the midst of that difficulty.  This year of course Aidan is a theme, but I realized after I finished this list that there ended up being several specific people I was grateful for.  In a year of making new friends and adjusting to parenthood, a few certain people stood out in my mind as having gone above and beyond in their love and embracing of us and our family.  We of course appreciate SO many more people than are on my little list this year, but I have been especially grateful for a few individuals for some specific roles they've played in our lives this year.  As we celebrate thanksgiving and move in to Advent may we remember that we have so many things--large and small--to thank God for!

A: Aidan

This one might be a bit obvious...but I am so so thankful for this unbelievable baby boy God placed in my life.  He amazes me daily with his curiosity, his energy, his smile, and with how much he loves me back.  That sounds strange, but I've never been the center of someone's world before, in the way that you are with your baby, and there is something incredible about seeing his face and eyes light up when you walk in the room.  We adore our sweet Aidan, and thank God for him every day.  

B: Book club

 Back in May I woke up one morning so so lonely and sad.  I had a baby who never slept, I was exhausted, I didn't feel like I had many friends, and I was so sure that this is what life was going to be like forever.  I'm not sure what inspired me to do this, but I decided to take action and on that day I emailed a bunch of people from church who I knew enjoyed reading and asked if they wanted to form a book club.  I was amazed at how many were interested, and how many husbands and sons wanted to join too!  Our little group has met once a month since, and has read a variety of titles.  I'm so grateful for this group of folks who enjoy reading and discussing books, and who are committed to being involved!  Gathering with them for dinner first and then discussion of our book is definitely  something I look forward to each month!  And along with this topic I am super grateful for my friends Julie & Jill, fellow readers who have been the bright spots in so many of my days--I love seeing the two of them around church and for the ways they have welcomed our family into their community this year.

C: Co-Sleeping

I am laughing to myself that this is one of my things I'm thankful for, because about 6 months ago I would have told you all the reasons I was never going to let my baby share our bed.  Then we had Aidan.  From day one this kid was a "social sleeper," napping best in my arms or plastered to me in the Sleepy Wrap carrier.  Long story short sometime in May I brought him to bed with me out of pure exhaustion and he spent the rest of the summer in our bed for part of each night.  He'd nurse on and off throughout the night, snuggle up against me and crash, hit me in the face as he'd flail his arms around, and wake me with his little whimperings and murmurings in his sleep.  And I cherish those nights.  I LOVED having him cuddled up against me as he fell in to a deep sleep.  It was the only time of day he'd hold still for cuddles!  He now sleeps in his own bed (for the most part--traveling earlier this month threw that off a bit!) but every morning he wakes around 6 and Charles brings him into our bed for me to nurse and he'll doze back off snuggled up against me until about 7.  I love that last sleepy hour of each morning before we start our day.  The way I see it, pretty soon there's no way he's going to want to snuggle with Mommy--so I'm going to be grateful for it and take advantage of it while I can!

D: Dinner, a Love Story

 Words cannot express how much I loved this book. I could not put it down.  Part cookbook, part memoir, it's the story of one average, everyday family who has determined to make family dinner a priority in their home.  She tells their story of how they did that, in various stages of life--newly wed, with a baby, with two toddlers, and now with elementary aged children, and the book is packed full of recipes that look like food I would actually cook and eat.  I loved this book, and love the inspiration it's given me as I think about our own family and what family dinner may look like over the years as kids grow and change.

E: Extended Vacations
Every time Charles had a camp or retreat, I chose to avoid sitting here alone with the little one and hopped a plane to see family.  I am so grateful for the time I had with them this year (and the help they gave once I arrived at their place!).  In July I got to spend 3 full weeks at my parent's house while Charles had 2 different camps to attend, and while 3 weeks was a long time for him to go not seeing his boy I was grateful to have company and to get some extended time with my parents!

F:  Friday Family Adventure Days
 Working at a church usually means one's weekends are pretty much shot...not necessarily in a bad way, but Saturday is usually spent getting ready for Sunday and Sunday for my husband is usually a 13 hour work day.  Needless to say we had to be intentional about carving out and protecting Fridays for our time together, and I am so grateful we did (and still do!)  Some weeks Charles goes to surf in the morning and then we go do something fun together that afternoon.  A lot of weeks I get to go to a coffee shop in the morning to write and think and he stays home with the little one.  Other weeks we just go somewhere as a family for the day.  We explored the children's section of Barnes & Noble, we went to the Venice Beach canals which we'd never seen before, we headed north up to Ventura one day (where Charles surfed and Aidan and I explored the town)...it changed each week but it was so nice to have a specific day to play together as a family.  I did no housework, no cooking, and nothing "responsible" on those days, we just played.  And we needed that!

 G: Grandparents
Not too many little ones have so many grandparents who love them so much!  I am thankful that our little guy has 2 sets of grandparents, one set of great-grandparents, and several adopted grandparents from church who love him so dearly.  I am grateful for the time they spend playing with him, shopping for him, quilting for him, talking to him on Skype, and praying for him.  It really does take a village to raise a child, and our child has a pretty great village surrounding him from coast to coast!  Included in this category are Bob & Sheila, Aidan's "adopted grandparents" here in LA who have babysat for him so many times so we could have a date night.  They have taken him probably at least once a month since he was about 6 weeks old or so, and I am SO grateful for how well they care for him and how much they love him (and us!) through their act of service.  Babysitters are expensive and there's no way we could afford date nights if it involved paying for sitters too--Bob & Sheila (and others) have given us such a gift!

H: Helpful Gifts
We've been the recipient of many wonderful hand me downs and other helpful baby items, but the most helpful baby gift we've been receiving this year has been from my in laws.  Charles' parents have been shipping cases of diapers to us every couple months from Sam's Club on line and it is an amazing gift.  Every so often a case will show up here on my door step, and we are so so blessed by them.  It's incredible to have a 10 month old and to have only paid for diapers probably twice in his little life.  We are SO grateful for this super helpful gift!!

 I: Iowa

I love the community I live in here in LA, but I will say the one big thing I've missed is having 4 distinct seasons--especially fall.  When my sister moved to Iowa in August I knew I wanted to go visit her, and decided to book my trip for when fall would be in full swing there.  It was such a fun week.  I never knew the landscape in Iowa is actually beautiful--rolling farmland, fields as far as the eye can see.  Still lakes, the crisp air that turns noses red and inspires one to make apple cider each afternoon, the geese heading south, and the leaves!  Oh the leaves!   It was awesome, definitely a fantastic trip and definitely one I'll be repeating each autumn to give me my "fall fix!" Plus it was wonderful to have time with my sister & her husband and kiddos, so fun to be "grown ups" now with kids of our own!

J: J.R.R. Tolkien
 When Charles & I were dating and first married one of the things we did was read aloud together.  We read all 7 of the Chronicles of Narnia to one another, and then for some reason we kind of stopped. We slipped back into habits of zoning out in front of our own computers, or watching TV, not really interacting.  A couple weeks ago we were climbing into bed and Charles said "we should start another book together, I miss reading with you." I missed it too.  The Hobbit is coming out as a movie on Dec. 4th, and while we probably will not be finished by then, we're working our way through the book, reading a chapter at a time a couple nights a week.  I forgot that I really do love Tolkien's work--The Hobbit has made us laugh aloud many times already, and while it's wordy at times we are both really enjoying the story.  I love that we end our days like this, it is so much more relaxing than the noise and lights of a TV or computer screen, and I love that it's a hobby we have found that we share with one another.

K: Kyle
As I talk to other wives one of the themes that comes up over and over again is our husbands and their work environment--the people that surround their husbands at work really do have an impact on them.  Each and every one of us pray for godly men to enter into our husband's lives to encourage them, care for them, counsel them, and pray with them, but the reality is that in many work environments that just doesn't happen.  One of the biggest blessings this year has been having one of my husband's closest friends on staff with him at the church.  Charles & Kyle started a dude's group together at Fuller 5 years ago and they met weekly the whole time they were in seminary.  As a wife I am so so grateful that they can continue this friendship here at First Pres.  I am so grateful that when Charles has a tough day or situation at work he has someone there who knows him so well and has permission to speak into his life.  They pray together weekly, and encourage one another a lot.  I love that I still get to see Kyle regularly as I adore his energy, encouragement, and enthusiasm about people, God and life.  We are both so thankful for this dear friend continuing this journey with us!

L: Laughter
One thing I have learned this year is that absolutely nothing is better than the sound of baby laughter.  Everytime I hear Aidan start laughing I drop what I'm doing to join him, it is irresistible.  And what cracks me up is that Aidan will start laughing hysterically at the most random things, sometimes I can't even figure out what's so funny.  But I love that being around him has caused me to pause a lot this year and look for the humor in things....anything is funny to him....fingers, toes, belly buttons, shoe laces, kisses, you name it, he will giggle at it. 

M: Mom
SO many people helped me out this year with our little dude who was pretty fussy and exhausting for the first many months of life.  But my mom went above and beyond.  She arrived two days before he was born, was with us through all 24 hours of labor, stayed in the hospital with me when I was in so much pain and just wanted a personal nurse there, and then stayed on an air mattress for 3 weeks taking care of me and the little one, did a ridiculous amount of cooking, cleaning, night shift rocking of the baby, came twice in the month of May when Aidan's fussing and reflux was at its worst, and always answers the phone when I call home...which is almost every day.  I am so so grateful for her, for how she has cared for both me and Aidan this year.  He just gravitates to her, he adores his grandma and I love seeing that.

N: Nostalgia
One of the things I love most about my parents, and am most grateful for, is that they gave me a wonderful childhood--full of books, games, rhymes, music, and imagination.  I had forgotten about so many of these things until this year.  I have had a blast remembering old rhymes and songs to sing for Aidan and pulling out children's books that I adored growing up (The Runaway Bunny, Jamberry, The Mitten, The Very Hungry Caterpillar).  I found the Raffi station on Pandora and have been listening to songs I haven't heard in 20 years and have had a great time making Aidan laugh while jumping around the apartment to them.  After years of searching I finally found a copy of a CD my cousins and I used to listen to at my grandparent's house all the time and was able to get a copy of it despite it being out of circulation.  I feel like these next several years are going to give me so many more chances to relive parts of my childhood as I expose Aidan to these same things, and I am so grateful for those memories and opportunities!

O: Officiating
Growing up Megan and I didn't have any brothers, but we did have almost-brothers in our two cousins, Brian & Christopher.  The 4 of us were stair-stepped in age and lived only 2 hours apart.  Looking back I realize that our parents made a huge effort to help us see each other a LOT throughout the year, as we drove back and forth for each kid's birthday, and usually Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  When Christopher asked me to officiate his wedding this past fall I was so so honored and excited.  He and Jennifer are a wonderful couple, so talented and so in love.  I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to stand with them on their special day and serve as their pastor as they began their lives together!

P: Preschooler's Moms (MOPS)
This one is stretching it a bit to get the letters to work, but I already had an "M"!  So I am grateful for my MOPS group (which stands for Mothers of Preschoolers if you didn't know!).  It can be tough going to a new place and making friends, but I found it to be even more difficult once I had a baby.   Trying to focus on a conversation when your kids are around, trying to come out of the sleep deprived haze to think of intelligent sounding questions to ask to spark a conversation (and then having the ability to listen to the answer!), and remembering people's names when you are beyond exhausted make the whole friendship making process really tough.  Enter MOPS.  I went when Aidan was only 3 weeks old, and I haven't ever missed a meeting.  I love MOPS.  I love that I can show up weepy and emotional from having only slept 4 hours the night before and everyone else in that room knows exactly what that feels like.  I love that I could say from the very beginning 'I don't know what I'm doing, I need help' and no one thought I was silly or an unfit mother.  I love that there were so many other hands there to hold my baby so I could at least eat my plate of breakfast while it was hot.  (And I love the food we get at MOPS!)  Now that Aidan is older I love that there is an incredible team of childcare folks who truly love him and care for him so I can enjoy time with other moms.  I love that there is a roomful of women who are in the same stage of life as me, and that they are so understanding and welcoming.  MOPS has been a huge gift to me this year, and I am honored to be helping coordinate it now, hoping to create that safe, welcoming space for other new moms to stagger into, not having slept, begging for coffee. (and I love that we have yummy coffee and fancy creamers!  Such a treat!)

Q: Quiet evenings alone

Being married to a youth director means that at least two, often three, nights a week I am home alone until 9 or 10.  Now that Aidan is sleeping so much better and routinely goes to bed right at 7 and stays asleep for several hours (instead of 30-45 minutes like he was doing!) I have started really enjoying these quiet evenings alone.  Of course I love hanging out with my husband, but after a busy day of constantly having a little one need so much from me, I'm thankful for a few nights a week to pop in a DVD of the Gilmore Girls and work on my own projects.  I've enjoyed putting together our 2011 Shutterfly family album, I designed our Christmas cards, I can get some MOPS stuff done, I'm now working on details for Aidan's birthday party and writing Christmas cards.  I love doing these things, and I love having quiet space a few nights a week that I can count on to be on my own.

R: Retreat (Gayle's Perks)
When we arrived in Northridge from Seattle I spent quite awhile trying to find a coffee shop that wasn't Starbucks that could be my new haunt.  It wasn't until several months later that I found Gayle's Perks at the recommendation of some friends.  It is a perfect little oasis, my retreat center if you will when I have a few hours to myself.  They make the most incredibly amazing crepes and paninis as well as delicious lattes, they have comfy chairs, a library where you can swap books, an outdoor patio with fountains, and free internet.  I love escaping here when Charles is with Aidan, I am so grateful for this little oasis in the midst of the valley! 

S: Silleruds
  I am so so thankful for Jim & Chris Sillerud.  Jim is our senior pastor and Chris is the music director at the church but they are so much more than that. They have reached out to both of us so many times, encouraging us, mentoring us, inviting us for meals and even Easter dinner with their family, they have watched Aidan for us countless times, and they've become friends we love dearly.  I don't even know how many times I showed up in Chris' office at the church with a fussing baby who wouldn't sleep and she'd take him from me and walk him around and calm him down and remind me that this would get easier.  I don't know that I would have survived the first few months with Aidan if I hadn't had Chris around to help me manage!  She was the first one who said "I am coming over tomorrow morning, you are going to leave the house and Aidan and I will be just fine.  But you need a break!"  Such a gift to a new and insecure mom!

T: Todd & Sarah
That same day back in May that I woke up feeling so lonely (the day that launched the book club) I reached out in another way.   I sent a text to another mom from our MOPS group who I'd had a chance to hang out with a couple times asking if she and her husband would be interested in starting a super low key small group with Charles and I.  Instead of formal bible study, we were looking for a few people to intentionally share life with--people who would get to know and love our son and who would let us know and love their kids.  People we could share meals with and call with random questions or if we needed something.  Sarah told me my text was an answer to prayer, that she and Todd had been looking for the same thing, for friends here in the neighborhood to connect with.  So many times in the past 6 months I have been so so grateful for Todd & Sarah and their sweet family.  We have shared meals together, gone on a double date, and have signed our babies up for the same baby gym class.  They are an incredible couple, so wise and hospitable, and we are so so grateful for their friendship and presence in our lives. 

U: Understanding Husband
No husband is ever fully prepared for that little bundle of joy to arrive--poor guys.  They have no idea what's in store for them when it comes to the emotional mess their wives may turn into from hormones, breast feeding and sleep deprivation.  My poor husband had to deal with the wreck I felt like I was and a baby who didn't sleep.  And he was amazing.  So many times he just held me as I cried, he tried to give me as many breaks as he could, and he came home with ice cream a lot.  (Which proved to be way more important than flowers this year!  Nursing moms need calories!!)  Watching him learn and grow as a dad as Aidan has learned to interact more and play more has been so fun.  The other day I came home to find every pillow I owned in the living room as they had been "playing fort" which melted my heart :)  Yes, I am SO grateful for how patient he has been with me this year!

V: Vaughn
I have always been grateful for my dad's brother, he is an incredible uncle and he and my dad have always set an example of how to love your siblings so well.  They have the best time together and are great friends in life.  This year though I have a new appreciation for him!  Vaughn is a pediatrician, a father of 4, and a grandpa of two precious little girls, and has a lot of life experience!  He was invaluable to me in the first many months of parenthood, and I'm sure he will continue to be so!  He made sure I knew he did not mind me calling with questions at all, and was so gracious with him time sitting on the phone with me encouraging me, helping me troubleshoot Aidan's feeding and crying issues, and talking through a lot of sleep issues.  The greatest gift Vaughn gave me this year, though, is the freedom to realize there is no one right way to be a mom.  There is no one right way to feed a baby or help him sleep or help him grow.  Vaughn made sure I knew the two non-negotiables were that Aidan was safe and Aidan knew he was loved unconditionally.  Beyond that I was allowed to relax, let him develop, let him grow, do what worked for our family even if it was counter to something I'd read in a book.  He helped me get rid of the word "should" when it came to my baby.  I was so fixated on what Aidan should be doing that I was failing to appreciate and celebrate what he was doing.  I am so so grateful for his counsel and his encouragement this year, it was exactly what I needed! (And I realized I don't have any pictures of him and I from recent years, but this is one of my favorites of the brothers!)

W: Walking Distance
One of the selling points of our apartment was that it is walking distance to absolutely anything we need, including the church.  We only have one car, so for Charles to be able to walk to and from work is huge, but not only that I can walk to a myriad of stores in about 5 minutes.  Almost every afternoon I put Aidan in my front carrier and walk him up to the grocery store for something, or over to the church to say hi to folks, or up to Starbucks or frozen yogurt or the craft store.  Usually we just browse or look around. Having so much within a couple blocks of our house has truly spoiled us from a convenience factor, but there is another benefit to walking that I hadn't anticipated.  You actually get to know some of your neighbors.  We see the same elderly man walking his two fluffy white dogs each day.  We have gotten to chat with the family who speaks only French, but who loves cooing over Aidan.  We have gotten to know some of the clerks at the grocery store, they immediately recognize Aidan in his carrier and everyone stops to ask how he's doing.  It's amazing how much more I feel like I have been able to meet people in the community just by being on foot and passing by them day after day until finally one of us starts a conversation.  I am grateful for the ability and the opportunity to walk here!

X: eXperience
Okay, I'm cheating on this one, it doesn't start with an "X" but I'm stumped.  And this is something I really am grateful for!  I was so so grateful for the wisdom and experience other mom friends of mine shared with me this year.  I have a few friends I'd call when I needed to figure something out with Aidan (usually in the areas of breast feeding and sleeping!) and these friends of mine were so wonderful at helping me process through different options and ideas without ever pushing one particular way of parenting onto me.  Especially when it came to finally sleep training our little guy, I was so so thankful for the stories of what other families had tried and how that did or did not work for them.  We are so inundated with information these days that sometimes I just needed the experience of other moms to help me sort through it all!

Y: Youth Elders
In a Presbyterian church the ruling body is made up of elders, who have just as much of an equal vote on matters as a pastor does.  Each elder has an area of ministry they help oversee, and they help make decisions, advocate for, and offer guidance to these areas of ministry.  We've been part of churches before where the elder(s) overseeing the youth ministry have not exactly done a stellar job for a variety of reasons.  But this year, in our first year here at First Pres, I am super grateful for our 2 youth elders--Mark and Maria.  They are the ones that help my husband make decisions, they advocate for him and have his back if there is any conflict or difficult choices to make, they have encouraged him over and over again this year, and genuinely care both about him and his personal life as well as about the youth and the ministry to them.  We are so blessed to have these two folks involved in our lives this year, and I for one am SO grateful for the ways they have lifted Charles up and encouraged him when things have been tough. 

Z: Zierman, Addie
I've posted a few links to Addie's blog on facebook throughout the year, and I hope some of you have checked her out.  Addie is the author of the blog How to Talk Evangelical and she is one of my very favorite writers out there.  She knows how to craft words into sentences that are just beautiful.  Oh to be able to write like her!  I think that the reason I love her blog so much though is because I resonate with what she writes so so often.  She was raised in an evangelical culture much like I was in my high school experience, and used the same language I used all the time in high school & college.  She describes the purpose behind her blog as: "We used to call it “Christianese.” We thought it was so clever to say it that way, like it was its own secret language – these words which seemed clear to us but mystified others. Salvation. Justification. Atonement.
We lounged on the old couches in the youth group room, penned our testimonies, mused about our calling, recounted a God thing that happened at school the other day in the face of some serious spiritual warfare. We were planting seeds, having our devos, getting into the Word.
If Christianese was a language, evangelical was our own special dialect. A cadence. A rhythm. A set of colloquialisms and catch phrases and clichés. I spent so much of my life conversing fluently in the evangelical language that when I met a “foreigner,” I struggled to find language."  Addie unpacks this language in thought-provoking and beautiful ways that often give me chills.  I am so grateful for writers like her to inspire me, to make me think and who help give me words to reflect upon my own life experience.

Counting to 1000

Continuing with the challenge I took up a long time ago from Ann Voskamp's amazingly beautiful book One Thousand Gifts, I've spent a few minutes each night before falling asleep jotting down things throughout the day that I was thankful for.  Here are some of this week's additions to the list.

721.  Little fingers examining my nose and mouth--checking each morning to be sure they are still attached!

724.  Fresh out of the bath baby smell

725.  Making chocolate cake in a coffee mug in my microwave

732.  Visiting a friend's new home

736.  A midday 4th of July walk for Frozen Yogurt with my 2 sweet guys :)

738.  Bonfires and Smores--watching my son see a fire for the first time

743. The beauty of the symmetry in the palm trees planted in the Ralph's parking lot

745.  Baby tylenol and teething tablets to alleviate teething pain.

747.  Molokai by Alan Brennert (a beautiful book)

753.  People who want to watch our son for free so we can go on dates

754.  A safe flight to Minneapolis with few melt downs!

755.  Watching Aidan take his first sips of juice--the wonder on his face as he tried to figure out what this was all about!

756. This little dancing fool who can't wait to go to another wedding so she can dance all night again!  (Watch out Christopher & Jennifer, your wedding is next and Lily is ready!)

757.  Good Mexican food at El Queso Grande with my hubby the night before we left for 3 weeks.

758.  40 minute naps from the babe instead of 30!

759.  The chance to play with new recipes here at my parent's house--while I have people to entertain my little one--grateful for getting to cook which is so fun and relaxing for me.

Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of heavenly lights...

Countering Pinterest-Inspired Disconent

It's no secret.  I love Pinterest.  I really do.  I have gained some fantastic ideas that have truly helped with organization in my home, with recipe ideas, and I've bookmarked some super fun ways to entertain a toddler that I know I'll be referring back to in a year or so!  I've noticed something, however.  In my life, there's become a bit of a darker side to Pinterest.  As I sit there night after night scrolling through ideas, zoning out, looking at what others have pinned, I find a bit of discontent creep slowly into my mind and heart.  "Look at this amazing and spotless kitchen this woman has!  How come my kitchen never looks like that?  She must have a husband who always puts everything back right where he found it immediately after using it or she must do all her dishes the second she uses one."  "Look at this person's amazingly organized kid's bedroom!  Do real kids even live here??  There's no way Aidan's room would look like that after 2 minutes of him being allowed to play there."  Friends of mine are pinning birthday party ideas and wedding ideas and holiday ideas that make Martha Stewart look lame, and I've started doing that too, even though I know deep down my child's first birthday party won't look anything like what I've pinned.  It will probably consist of some streamers and balloons and a happy birthday banner with pizza and cupcakes and blowing bubbles for 10 of our close friends and their little ones because that's more me than themed and decorated shindigs.  It probably won't involve perfectly homemade party favors, not because I don't want to be able to do that, but because I know that's not my gift.  And seeds of discontent start to grow.  I look around my little apartment and I wonder when it will be my turn to live in and decorate a big beautiful 4 bedroom house with a perfectly organized mudroom with individual lockers for each member of my family (if you don't get that, you might not have spent enough time on Pinterest!)  I forget to be grateful that God has provided a great apartment for us within walking distance to everything important.  Am I a bad mom because I can't keep my kitchen looking like that or can't pull off a perfect party like the Moms on Pinterest?  Of course not.  But I fear that fantastic tools like Pinterest are slowly breeding discontent and resentment and feelings of failure in moms all over America.  (Come on, I know I'm not the only one!)  I don't think swearing off social media is the answer--there are truly great benefits to using things like this.  I think God was whispering the answer to me over and over again this week in several ways.  "Sarah, be grateful.  Practice gratitude.  Look around you, see what you DO have.  And give thanks."

Awhile ago (like two years maybe?) I started a gratitude journal, and started counting my blessings--big and small.  Sometimes I'd post them here on the blog, but slowly I've gotten out of the habit of doing so.  I picked up my journal again this week, and am committing to this discipline of counting the gifts God gives me each week.  I may not have a perfectly decorated master bedroom,  I may have a car that needs to be badly cleaned out and washed, and when I throw a dinner party it might not involve homemade matching place card holders, but I have so much more than that.  So so much more.  Picking up where I left off awhile ago, here's what my heart is grateful for this week.

695.  I don't take beautiful photos of my breakfast toast.  Instead I wolf it down with one hand while preparing Aidan's breakfast with the other--because morning is his absolute happiest time of day and I don't want to miss a moment of his babbling and cooing and smiling working in the kitchen.

696.  A data entry job fell in my lap--a job I can do from home any time of the day or night so I don't miss a moment of my son's little life while working.

697.  Yaki Tacos from Islands' restaurant.  Pineapple, teriyaki chicken, lettuce, tomato....deliciousness.

698.  Seeing our friend Tuhina who was in town visiting this weekend.  Wandering through Fuller together reflecting on what a rich season of life that was.  (Seriously how many people do you know who were actively practicing Hinduism when they converted to Lutheranism and felt called to ministry and are now a year away from receiving their fist call as an ELCA pastor??  I love Fuller because I've been privileged to be friends with people who have stories like Tuhina's.)

699.  Dreaming about plans for MOPS for this next year.

700.  Fresh clean baby laundry--folding those little onesies.

701.  Sweet conversations with my husband as we lay falling asleep at night.

702.  My sis booked her airline tickets to our cousin's wedding in Nashville over Labor Day weekend--can't wait to see her again!

703.  A case of diapers arrived on our doorstep yesterday thanks to my awesome in laws.  We were down to 4 diapers and I was about to send the hubby to the store.  Perfect timing!

704.  I may not know how to edit my photos or post beautiful ones to facebook, but as I scroll through my iphoto I do nothing but smile--smile at the memories, at how my son has grown already, at the people who love us and him that make up the tapestry of our lives.

705.  Getting to see two of my bridesmaids in the past week--both Jean and Jenn were in town just for one day each!

706.  Reading a beautiful eBook called Mother Letters that has inspired me, made me cry, and reminded me over and over again of the truly important things in life.

707.  Getting to have banana bread fresh from the oven with a new friend from church and her fantastic kids.

708.  Watching the US gymnastics olympic trials.  I love the olympics and it's the one time I truly become patriotic!

709.  Finding a beautiful birthday gift for my sister in law and a very fun gift for my nephew (yes, thank you Pinterest!)

710.  Watching my niece Lily do a tongue twister on video--this 2 year old truly amazes me!

711.  Our sweet babe slept 4-5 hour stretches two nights in a row!  Praise the Lord!!

712.  A husband who is SO supportive of the decisions I make regarding our son each day.

713.  Getting to read every time I nurse Aidan--so I actually get to read a lot in chunks throughout the day.

714.  Playdates with friends!

715.  Our munchkin has mellowed enough and loves getting out in my Beco front carrier, which means we get to go places now!

716.  The way my parents interact with Aidan when we skype--talking to him, showing him little toys, waving at him, trying to build a relationship as much as possible from a distance.

717.  Being part of a community of parents and people who are incredible.

718.  Summer produce.  Can't get enough of it!

719.  The Little Blue Truck, my new favorite board book--seriously, love this book!

720.  Saturday morning alone at a coffee shop doing my data entry while daddy gets a morning with his munchkin.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

Thanksgiving from A-Z 2011

My favorite challenge of the year--I can't believe this is my 6th year doing this, gosh time flies! Every year I try and come up with something I am thankful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet. Sometimes this is easier than others! So without further ado here is this year's list, things I'm thankful for from A-Z. This could be a great family activity--let me know what you all come up with if you try it too!

A: Ancient Words
Every Sunday night at St. Mark's Cathedral in Seattle a group of men from the church choir chant the 30 minute compline service (the prayer service to mark the end of the day). This is a giant cathedral and every week it is packed full of people, mostly between ages 18 and 30, sitting in silence listening to the ancient words of scripture, the Lords Prayer, the Apostles Creed and ancient hymns be chanted over them. Some lay on the cathedral floors, some bring pillows and sleeping bags and lay there resting in the words they hear. Some bring sketch pads and draw as they hear the words sung. We attended several times throughout the year and were always so blessed by this time of silence, getting lost in the ancient words that have sustained the faith of so many for years before us.

B: Brooke Elizabeth
My dear sister brought a new little niece into our lives this year! Brooke Elizabeth arrived October 13 and I had the opportunity to fly out to Rhode Island in early November to meet her--Aunt Sarah is already in love with this little snuggle-bug and wishes she were closer! Watching big sister Lily (now 2) get to know her baby sister is also something I am so grateful for--she is very sweet with "baby Brooke" and melted my heart more than once giving her sister good night kisses!
C: Covenant
In July we were so grateful for the opportunity to join family for the baptism of our sweet niece, Elizabeth Jane in Danville, Kentucky. Jane was adopted into the covenant family of God, and if you know me, you know there is no holy moment I love more than seeing a child marked with the sign of the covenant upon her forehead.
D: Doors
Doors opening. Doors closing. Doors opening again. It's been a strange year, and a really hard year in so many ways--full of uncertainty. But one of our constant prayers has been "God will you please shut the doors that need to be closed." And he did. Jobs we thought we wanted didn't work out, someone else was hired. Jobs we didn't even dream about fell in our laps and doors flew wide open to allow us to move forward--housing was provided, our house sold, health insurance worked out, friends were already part of our new community--it was amazing to watch God work through the opening and closing of doors.

E: Extreme Weight Loss

This sounds strange, I know, but I needed an E and this works :) This past year my husband and I haven't had a ton of free time, but one of the things we found we really enjoyed doing together is watching The Biggest Loser. I don't know why this became "our" show, but it really is one of the only shows we consistently watched together every week. (The Voice was our other show back in the spring!) I am grateful for the inspiring people who are willing to share their struggles and stories on national TV, I'm grateful for what I've learned from the trainers about nutrition and exercise, and I'm grateful for the time every week to sit down and share something fun with my husband.

F: First Presbyterian Church Granada Hills
We are beyond grateful for this new community God has provided for us! This church really is incredible, in so many ways. We are grateful for the senior pastor and his wife--their hospitality towards us and the way they view ministry, family and life. We are grateful that the youth program isn't so overrun with giant events that there is ample time to do things like go to student's games and plays or have coffee with volunteers. We are grateful for Sunday worship--the joyous music that has energy and passion infused in it and the sermons that are relevant and challenging. God has blessed us big time by bringing us to this place.

G: The Good and Beautiful God
In the spring I had the opportunity to lead a 12 week class at our church on this book that I've come to love a lot over the past two years. I loved the opportunity to get to teach a series this long, to be in a weekly relationship with a group of wonderful folks who joined me in reading this book. And I am so grateful for all that I learned about God, and about teaching through this experience.
H: Hospitality
We spent a lot of time on people's couches, air mattresses and guest beds this year! We are especially grateful for the hospitality of our dear friends Ryan, Alethia, Josh and Jenn who hosted us over night (more than once!) We are also so grateful for the family from our new church who took us in for a full month as we apartment hunted and then waited for it to be ready for us to move in. Countless other friends have hosted us for meals over the year, and we have loved our times of fellowship around tables laden with beautiful food. God has blessed us tremendously through the hospitality of friends, both new and old!
I: Interim Pastors

I have been SO blessed this year to get to know two absolutely phenomenal individuals who changed me in many ways.
Bryan Burton is the interim pastor at West Side and professor at Fuller Northwest and he and his wife Caroline were God's saving grace to us numerous times. We'd been there about 6 weeks when they had us over to their home and when we walked in they said "you're safe here, you don't have to filter your thoughts or worry about what we think or might repeat to others. This can be your safe space, we'll be your listening ears." That gift is one we took advantage of many times, and loved getting to know him and letting his thoughts and theology shape us. He is passionate about engaging culture, not running from it, and he calls things like he sees them. Bryan's love, encouragement, and solidarity during our time at West Side is one of the main reasons we made it as long as we did there! We are SO grateful for him!

Heidi Husted-Armstrong is the interim senior pastor at Bethany Presbyterian Church here in Seattle, my "home" church. Heidi began her time at Bethany in January, and when things fell apart at West Side we were so grateful to have a home church to retreat to for worship and the beginning of our healing process. I have to be honest, I don't know too many people who can preach better than Heidi. She is phenomenal, she has a gift that is indescribable. I'd been told by a Fuller professor that if I ever get the chance to attend a church where she's preaching, I should, just to learn from her. I had no idea I'd get the chance to worship at Bethany for several months this summer, and I am SO grateful I did. The sermon she preached on Sept. 11 is still with me, I still think about it two months later. If you have a free half hour, go to this page, and scroll down to the sermon from September 11 called Another Perspective. Listen to it, I promise, you'll be blessed. The other incredible gift Heidi has is pastoral care. Our second week at Bethany after leaving West Side she came up to me, put her arm around me, and just said "I understand God is in the process of re-writing your story, and that it's pretty painful right now. I'm so sorry." Those words have stuck with me for 5 months now. God has rewritten our story, and it has been painful, but meeting with her, hearing her faithfully share scripture each week, and being encouraged by the Bethany community have been such gifts from God this year.

J: Java
One of the best things about being back in Seattle is the plethora of independent coffee shops that exist all over the city. I loved discovering new shops around the West Seattle area, and loved having places to retreat to when life got hectic. Something about being in a quiet coffee shop, the smell of coffee beans, and a perfectly steamed latte with the right amount of foam makes me super happy (and no, Starbucks doesn't usually work for me, too commercialized and usually noisy with blenders going!). So this past year I have been thankful for time spent in local java shops!

K: Kicks and Wiggles!
As tired and sore as I am right now (moving in the midst of pregnancy is a LOT of physical activity to do when hauling around a bunch of extra pounds!) I have really loved being pregnant. I haven't been sick--just tired, which is normal, and I've been fascinated by watching my body grow and change as this little one grows. My favorite thing ever is feeling him stretch, wiggle, kick, and flip in there. I think it is amazing seeing my entire belly move (strange, yes, but amazing!) knowing there's a little person in there who is getting ready to come meet us. Yes, I am grateful for baby kicks and wiggles!

L: Lessons Learned
I kind of feel like my brain is on overload this year! It was a year of learning a LOT--both about ministry and how we've been taught to approach that versus how other churches approach that, but also about life. This year we bought a house, something I'd never done before, and a process that freaked me out at first. But we did it, and I learned a lot about what a mortgage is, how loans work, why down payment sizes matter, and how to get things notarized. Then we moved & I learned all about different moving options (Pods, trucks, rentals, trailers) and how much each costs and how to coordinate all of those things. Then I got pregnant and started learning all about fetal development, nutrition, and pregnancy. Then of course we lost the job and put the house on the market, something else I'd never done before! I learned a lot through that process too, and now we're enrolled in childbirth, infant care and breastfeeding classes throughout the month of December...more learning! It's been overwhelming at times, but I am grateful for having had all these "grown up" experiences that have taught me a LOT!

M: Missy & Mumford
I have 2 "m's" this year :) I have incredible friends. That is one of the constant themes throughout my life, and I am SO grateful for so many of them. This year, my dear friend Missy has been one of God's lifelines to both Charles and I in so many ways. She has hosted us for several meals, but has been a constant listening ear and encouragement. Because she's my one friend who goes to Bethany, she was a huge part in helping both of us ease back into life at a church--inviting and encouraging my husband to go volunteer with her local mission trip team, and reminding me that not all church life has to be draining. I will miss all my Seattle friends so much, but leaving Missy is like leaving a really big piece of my heart behind. I am so grateful to have been able to live another year of life in close proximity to her. (And I love this photo of her my husband snapped at a friend's wedding...gorgeous!)

It's not too often that an entire album a band puts out speaks to me and sticks with me as a favorite for months at a time. Mumford and Sons, although they have been around for awhile, were not discovered by us until early this year. And we were hooked. There is something so soulful and spiritual and raw and real about their album that it speaks to me every time. One of their songs was even used as a worship song on our Houseboat trip this summer (they are not an official "Christian" band, so don't buy this album if looking for something like David Crowder), but they are a group who sings honestly about life, and very spiritual themes. (I will warn you, their song Little Lion Man is not appropriate for children--they cry out with a rawness that many find shocking and off-putting. In the midst of our year this year we found it refreshingly honest and real).
N: Naps
You probably know that exhaustion is one of the main side effects of pregnancy, especially in the first trimester, and I'm beginning to realize later in the 3rd trimester too. I've had mono before, and let me just say it's kind of like that. Sheer exhaustion, even when you sleep for a full night. I took a ridiculous number of naps this year, and I am SO grateful for the time I had to be able to do that! It was great when my energy came back in my second trimester, and I'm finding now that I'm enjoying naps more and more again as I get a little bigger and it takes a bit more energy to do normal things. Something tells me that when this baby is born I will still be thankful for naps!

O: Ordinary RadicalsCharles and I discovered this book this summer, and started using it more faithfully in September when we were back from our August travels. He picked it up as part of the Borders closing sale and thought it would be a fun resource for ministry, for when we have to plan worship services. We didn't realize it would be our saving grace! This book is a guide to daily prayer--a short "liturgy" written for every day of the year, meant to be done in families, communities, or as individuals. We started using this together as a way to start our morning, and for the first time in our marriage we have been consistently praying together, reading scripture together, and being silent together. For some reason, this book works when no other form of devotions done together worked for us (normally we approach quiet times pretty differently). It also has evening prayer outlines that focus on confession, and we're not quite as consistent with those (usually because by bedtime this pregnant mama is beyond exhausted!). We'd highly highly recommend this book to couples, families and individuals--we are so grateful for discovering this book!

P: Prayer WarriorsEveryone should be so lucky as to have kids as amazing as these guys are! One of the things that my sister in law has faithfully done with her kids is pray with them each day, I think in the mornings before they head out the door to school, and she has taught them to pray as well. Our three older nieces and nephew have taught me a lot about persistent and faithful prayer this year. They have prayed for us through every major up and down in our year, and I am absolutely convinced God has heard their requests on our behalf! They've prayed for our job hunt, our moving logistics, a new doctor for me, the right apartment, and for their baby cousin to keep growing strong. Last year when we were visiting in Japan, we visited a Buddhist temple. My 9 year old niece asked her mom if she could pray silently right there and ask God to show the people worshiping there that He was the real God, that they would know who God really is, and that God is not a statue. That kind of intense childlike faith is something I hope she never looses. I am SO grateful for what I've learned being blessed by these prayer warriors this year!

Q: Quiet

One of the best parts for me about our house in Seattle is that it backed up to a creek and a green space and was set back off the road. After living in a noisy apartment complex for so long at Fuller, moving into a house where it was so quiet was such a gift. I had no idea it was possible to fall asleep without sirens as one's background music! That is one thing I will miss living in another apartment complex again...the silence that we so often don't get in our society.

R: Restoration
The week my husband lost his job found us in a bit of a state of shock and numbness. That first Sunday we woke up knowing we were not going back to worship at West Side, so we headed over to Queen Anne to worship at Bethany Pres, the church I call home in Seattle. Words cannot describe what worshiping at Bethany throughout the summer did for my soul. It felt like I was coming home. The people I still knew there welcomed us with open arms. There was no pressure to "do" anything, we were just allowed to come and be. The music, the spontaneous corporate prayer, the silence that fills Bethany's worship services, the down to earth nature of the congregation who shows up in jeans, coffee in hand to worship--all these things were SO restorative to my tired, weary, and disillusioned spirit. I didn't have to put on a smile and pretend to be okay. God used Bethany in so many ways to restore my faith in the church and to renew my desire to be involved in His body.

S: Soup Dates!
Ok this one should technically be my "p" but I already had a pretty good "P" :) One of the things we discovered this year in Seattle is Pho (pronounced pha for those not familiar with this deliciousness). Pho is a Vietnamese soup that we are in love with. Beef broth with thinly sliced meat of your choice (I always choose chicken but there are lots of options), ramen-like noodles, green onions, white onions, bean sprouts, and herbs (I think cilantro and something else?) make up one of our new favorite comfort foods. We had a Pho place a block from our Seattle house and since it's so cheap we often walked down the street for lunch or dinner. I am grateful for Pho!
T: Thirty
In September I turned 30, and heading into my birthday weekend I had no expectation really for any big celebration but my husband and friends went above and beyond! I am grateful for all they did to make me feel loved and special--from breakfast in bed, to a pizza date for dinner, to dinner at the Space Needle, and a big surprise party. It was an amazing weekend!

U: Useless Bay Weekend
One of my favorite places on the planet is Useless Bay on Whidbey Island. It's a very special spot for my family, and I never tire of going there. One of the traditions my friends in Seattle have is going away for a "Girls Weekend" once a year, and this year we were given a place on Useless Bay to enjoy, which was incredible! We cooked for one another, sat in the sun, took walks on the beach, snacked a lot, read, and just enjoyed one anothers company. This was a weekend that was so good for my soul!
V: Victorious

One of the constant themes that I've encountered several times this past year is the idea that no matter how painful life is, Christ is victorious over all the pain, sin and death in this world. That's where our hope lies, in Christ's victory, not in our ability to "rise above" things on our own. I am grateful for this repeated message that has appeared in many sermons I've listened to in the past 11 months.

W: Words of Wisdom
When life feels a bit out of control, I know I start to doubt my own intuition and my own voice. It's as if I assume every decision I make will be wrong because of one other wrong decision made. I think this is probably a pretty human thing. One of the things I have appreciated so much this year are the couple people who have spoken such wise words to us. Primarily, I am so so grateful for the hours my poor parents have spent on the phone with us talking through all kinds of things. They have been the recipient of several tearful phone calls from me this year as it seemed like everything was unraveling around me. Every time we've talked both my husband and I have hung up feeling a bit more confident, able to think a bit clearer than when we were stuck in the spirals of our own thoughts. I especially am grateful for an email my dad sent us when we were discerning about moving back to LA. We knew it would be expensive to live here, but his email reminded us that ministry was a calling first, and that if the church & pastor and vision for ministry was the right fit then that was what we needed to base our decision on, and God would help take care of the finances. We've landed ourselves back in a very expensive city, but with a much greater sense of joy than we had previously. And the fact that he did a rotation in OB this summer as part of his Nurse Practitioner program--he's also been the recipient of many questions throughout my pregnancy and is always able to calm me down after a frustrating doctor's appointment!

X: Xaris
I've used this word in the past, but there are only so many "X" words! Xaris is the Greek word for "grace" and we have been the recipient of some amazing grace this year! We have eaten way more meals at other people's tables than we'll ever be able to repay. We've been hosted on couches, air mattresses, and hide a beds. We were taken in by total strangers for an entire month while we waited for an apartment here in LA. We had a good friend fly up to Seattle just to drive our uhaul down I-5 with my husband so I didn't have to do the drive twice in a month. We've been thrown baby showers, surprise parties, welcome and goodbye parties. We've had family members purchase us plane tickets to family events we otherwise would not have been able to attend. We've had incredible friends spend a lot of their precious time on the phone with us as we've processed our painful year. I even had a friend drive from Portland for one night just to spend time with me and take me to get a pedicure. As I look back I see so many signs of God's grace demonstrated through the friends and family around me, and I am so grateful.

Y: Yes
In the midst of all the chaos and tough stuff in our year, God sent us one resounding "yes!" in the form of a positive pregnancy test taken May 5th. And God has continued saying "yes" as we've prayed for good health for me and for Aidan, for the right medical care to be made available, and for great family support during this time. Finding out your are expecting a child and then loosing your job a month later, having to go through a job search process, sell the house, pack, move, and then unpack and resettle in all in a few months felt like a lot, but every time I felt our little guy move I've been reminded that this is the year when God said "yes" to one of my dreams.9 week ultra sound...our little blob with a heartbeat!
Z: Zelzah Avenue

The street that our new church is on is conveniently named with a Z, as if they knew I'd be struggling with this letter someday and would need a word to use! In all seriousness though, I am so grateful to be living one block from Zelzah (one block from the church--a grand total of a 5 minute walk), and a short walk to the grocery store, Starbucks, Michaels, Menchies (frozen yogurt, my new obsession!) a pharmacy, and a fantastic farmer's market (Sprouts) which are all located on Zelzah. Being back in a place where I can walk to things again is a great gift!