For some reason Thanksgiving crept upon me this year--probably because it's a week earlier this year than it usually is! Every November my tradition is to come up with a list of things I have been thankful for that previous year using the alphabet for inspiration. This is my 7th year doing this, and is a discipline I hope to continue even though sometimes I have to stretch a bit to get a letter to work! As I have re-read my past A-Z lists I realize each list generally ends up having a theme of some sort--some years it was school, last year as things were so hard it was actually praising God for many things in the midst of that difficulty. This year of course Aidan is a theme, but I realized after I finished this list that there ended up being several specific people I was grateful for. In a year of making new friends and adjusting to parenthood, a few certain people stood out in my mind as having gone above and beyond in their love and embracing of us and our family. We of course appreciate SO many more people than are on my little list this year, but I have been especially grateful for a few individuals for some specific roles they've played in our lives this year. As we celebrate thanksgiving and move in to Advent may we remember that we have so many things--large and small--to thank God for!
A: Aidan
This one might be a bit obvious...but I am so so thankful for this
unbelievable baby boy God placed in my life. He amazes me daily with
his curiosity, his energy, his smile, and with how much he loves me
back. That sounds strange, but I've never been the center of someone's
world before, in the way that you are with your baby, and there is
something incredible about seeing his face and eyes light up when you
walk in the room. We adore our sweet Aidan, and thank God for him every
day.
B: Book club
Back in May I woke up one morning so so lonely and sad. I had a baby who never slept, I was exhausted, I didn't feel like I had many friends, and I was so sure that this is what life was going to be like forever. I'm not sure what inspired me to do this, but I decided to take action and on that day I emailed a bunch of people from church who I knew enjoyed reading and asked if they wanted to form a book club. I was amazed at how many were interested, and how many husbands and sons wanted to join too! Our little group has met once a month since, and has read a variety of titles. I'm so grateful for this group of folks who enjoy reading and discussing books, and who are committed to being involved! Gathering with them for dinner first and then discussion of our book is definitely something I look forward to each month! And along with this topic I am super grateful for my friends Julie & Jill, fellow readers who have been the bright spots in so many of my days--I love seeing the two of them around church and for the ways they have welcomed our family into their community this year.
C: Co-Sleeping
I am laughing to myself that this is one of my things I'm thankful for, because about 6 months ago I would have told you all the reasons I was never going to let my baby share our bed. Then we had Aidan. From day one this kid was a "social sleeper," napping best in my arms or plastered to me in the Sleepy Wrap carrier. Long story short sometime in May I brought him to bed with me out of pure exhaustion and he spent the rest of the summer in our bed for part of each night. He'd nurse on and off throughout the night, snuggle up against me and crash, hit me in the face as he'd flail his arms around, and wake me with his little whimperings and murmurings in his sleep. And I cherish those nights. I LOVED having him cuddled up against me as he fell in to a deep sleep. It was the only time of day he'd hold still for cuddles! He now sleeps in his own bed (for the most part--traveling earlier this month threw that off a bit!) but every morning he wakes around 6 and Charles brings him into our bed for me to nurse and he'll doze back off snuggled up against me until about 7. I love that last sleepy hour of each morning before we start our day. The way I see it, pretty soon there's no way he's going to want to snuggle with Mommy--so I'm going to be grateful for it and take advantage of it while I can!
D: Dinner, a Love Story
Words cannot express how much I loved this book. I could not put it down. Part cookbook, part memoir, it's the story of one average, everyday family who has determined to make family dinner a priority in their home. She tells their story of how they did that, in various stages of life--newly wed, with a baby, with two toddlers, and now with elementary aged children, and the book is packed full of recipes that look like food I would actually cook and eat. I loved this book, and love the inspiration it's given me as I think about our own family and what family dinner may look like over the years as kids grow and change.
E: Extended Vacations
Every time Charles had a camp or retreat, I chose to avoid sitting here alone with the little one and hopped a plane to see family. I am so grateful for the time I had with them this year (and the help they gave once I arrived at their place!). In July I got to spend 3 full weeks at my parent's house while Charles had 2 different camps to attend, and while 3 weeks was a long time for him to go not seeing his boy I was grateful to have company and to get some extended time with my parents!
F: Friday Family Adventure Days
Working at a church usually means one's weekends are pretty much shot...not necessarily in a bad way, but Saturday is usually spent getting ready for Sunday and Sunday for my husband is usually a 13 hour work day. Needless to say we had to be intentional about carving out and protecting Fridays for our time together, and I am so grateful we did (and still do!) Some weeks Charles goes to surf in the morning and then we go do something fun together that afternoon. A lot of weeks I get to go to a coffee shop in the morning to write and think and he stays home with the little one. Other weeks we just go somewhere as a family for the day. We explored the children's section of Barnes & Noble, we went to the Venice Beach canals which we'd never seen before, we headed north up to Ventura one day (where Charles surfed and Aidan and I explored the town)...it changed each week but it was so nice to have a specific day to play together as a family. I did no housework, no cooking, and nothing "responsible" on those days, we just played. And we needed that!
G: Grandparents
Not too many little ones have so many grandparents who love them so much! I am thankful that our little guy has 2 sets of grandparents, one set of great-grandparents, and several adopted grandparents from church who love him so dearly. I am grateful for the time they spend playing with him, shopping for him, quilting for him, talking to him on Skype, and praying for him. It really does take a village to raise a child, and our child has a pretty great village surrounding him from coast to coast! Included in this category are Bob & Sheila, Aidan's "adopted grandparents" here in LA who have babysat for him so many times so we could have a date night. They have taken him probably at least once a month since he was about 6 weeks old or so, and I am SO grateful for how well they care for him and how much they love him (and us!) through their act of service. Babysitters are expensive and there's no way we could afford date nights if it involved paying for sitters too--Bob & Sheila (and others) have given us such a gift!
H: Helpful Gifts
We've been the recipient of many wonderful hand me downs and other helpful baby items, but the most helpful baby gift we've been receiving this year has been from my in laws. Charles' parents have been shipping cases of diapers to us every couple months from Sam's Club on line and it is an amazing gift. Every so often a case will show up here on my door step, and we are so so blessed by them. It's incredible to have a 10 month old and to have only paid for diapers probably twice in his little life. We are SO grateful for this super helpful gift!!
I: Iowa
I love the community I live in here in LA, but I will say the one big thing I've missed is having 4 distinct seasons--especially fall. When my sister moved to Iowa in August I knew I wanted to go visit her, and decided to book my trip for when fall would be in full swing there. It was such a fun week. I never knew the landscape in Iowa is actually beautiful--rolling farmland, fields as far as the eye can see. Still lakes, the crisp air that turns noses red and inspires one to make apple cider each afternoon, the geese heading south, and the leaves! Oh the leaves! It was awesome, definitely a fantastic trip and definitely one I'll be repeating each autumn to give me my "fall fix!" Plus it was wonderful to have time with my sister & her husband and kiddos, so fun to be "grown ups" now with kids of our own!
J: J.R.R. Tolkien
When Charles & I were dating and first married one of the things we did was read aloud together. We read all 7 of the Chronicles of Narnia to one another, and then for some reason we kind of stopped. We slipped back into habits of zoning out in front of our own computers, or watching TV, not really interacting. A couple weeks ago we were climbing into bed and Charles said "we should start another book together, I miss reading with you." I missed it too. The Hobbit is coming out as a movie on Dec. 4th, and while we probably will not be finished by then, we're working our way through the book, reading a chapter at a time a couple nights a week. I forgot that I really do love Tolkien's work--The Hobbit has made us laugh aloud many times already, and while it's wordy at times we are both really enjoying the story. I love that we end our days like this, it is so much more relaxing than the noise and lights of a TV or computer screen, and I love that it's a hobby we have found that we share with one another.
K: Kyle
As I talk to other wives one of the themes that comes up over and over again is our husbands and their work environment--the people that surround their husbands at work really do have an impact on them. Each and every one of us pray for godly men to enter into our husband's lives to encourage them, care for them, counsel them, and pray with them, but the reality is that in many work environments that just doesn't happen. One of the biggest blessings this year has been having one of my husband's closest friends on staff with him at the church. Charles & Kyle started a dude's group together at Fuller 5 years ago and they met weekly the whole time they were in seminary. As a wife I am so so grateful that they can continue this friendship here at First Pres. I am so grateful that when Charles has a tough day or situation at work he has someone there who knows him so well and has permission to speak into his life. They pray together weekly, and encourage one another a lot. I love that I still get to see Kyle regularly as I adore his energy, encouragement, and enthusiasm about people, God and life. We are both so thankful for this dear friend continuing this journey with us!
L: Laughter
One thing I have learned this year is that absolutely nothing is better than the sound of baby laughter. Everytime I hear Aidan start laughing I drop what I'm doing to join him, it is irresistible. And what cracks me up is that Aidan will start laughing hysterically at the most random things, sometimes I can't even figure out what's so funny. But I love that being around him has caused me to pause a lot this year and look for the humor in things....anything is funny to him....fingers, toes, belly buttons, shoe laces, kisses, you name it, he will giggle at it.
M: Mom
SO many people helped me out this year with our little dude who was pretty fussy and exhausting for the first many months of life. But my mom went above and beyond. She arrived two days before he was born, was with us through all 24 hours of labor, stayed in the hospital with me when I was in so much pain and just wanted a personal nurse there, and then stayed on an air mattress for 3 weeks taking care of me and the little one, did a ridiculous amount of cooking, cleaning, night shift rocking of the baby, came twice in the month of May when Aidan's fussing and reflux was at its worst, and always answers the phone when I call home...which is almost every day. I am so so grateful for her, for how she has cared for both me and Aidan this year. He just gravitates to her, he adores his grandma and I love seeing that.
N: Nostalgia
One of the things I love most about my parents, and am most grateful for, is that they gave me a wonderful childhood--full of books, games, rhymes, music, and imagination. I had forgotten about so many of these things until this year. I have had a blast remembering old rhymes and songs to sing for Aidan and pulling out children's books that I adored growing up (The Runaway Bunny, Jamberry, The Mitten, The Very Hungry Caterpillar). I found the Raffi station on Pandora and have been listening to songs I haven't heard in 20 years and have had a great time making Aidan laugh while jumping around the apartment to them. After years of searching I finally found a copy of a CD my cousins and I used to listen to at my grandparent's house all the time and was able to get a copy of it despite it being out of circulation. I feel like these next several years are going to give me so many more chances to relive parts of my childhood as I expose Aidan to these same things, and I am so grateful for those memories and opportunities!
O: Officiating
Growing up Megan and I didn't have any brothers, but we did have almost-brothers in our two cousins, Brian & Christopher. The 4 of us were stair-stepped in age and lived only 2 hours apart. Looking back I realize that our parents made a huge effort to help us see each other a LOT throughout the year, as we drove back and forth for each kid's birthday, and usually Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas. When Christopher asked me to officiate his wedding this past fall I was so so honored and excited. He and Jennifer are a wonderful couple, so talented and so in love. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to stand with them on their special day and serve as their pastor as they began their lives together!
P: Preschooler's Moms (MOPS)
This one is stretching it a bit to get the letters to work, but I already had an "M"! So I am grateful for my MOPS group (which stands for Mothers of Preschoolers if you didn't know!). It can be tough going to a new place and making friends, but I found it to be even more difficult once I had a baby. Trying to focus on a conversation when your kids are around, trying to come out of the sleep deprived haze to think of intelligent sounding questions to ask to spark a conversation (and then having the ability to listen to the answer!), and remembering people's names when you are beyond exhausted make the whole friendship making process really tough. Enter MOPS. I went when Aidan was only 3 weeks old, and I haven't ever missed a meeting. I love MOPS. I love that I can show up weepy and emotional from having only slept 4 hours the night before and everyone else in that room knows exactly what that feels like. I love that I could say from the very beginning 'I don't know what I'm doing, I need help' and no one thought I was silly or an unfit mother. I love that there were so many other hands there to hold my baby so I could at least eat my plate of breakfast while it was hot. (And I love the food we get at MOPS!) Now that Aidan is older I love that there is an incredible team of childcare folks who truly love him and care for him so I can enjoy time with other moms. I love that there is a roomful of women who are in the same stage of life as me, and that they are so understanding and welcoming. MOPS has been a huge gift to me this year, and I am honored to be helping coordinate it now, hoping to create that safe, welcoming space for other new moms to stagger into, not having slept, begging for coffee. (and I love that we have yummy coffee and fancy creamers! Such a treat!)
Q: Quiet evenings alone
Being married to a youth director means that at least two, often three, nights a week I am home alone until 9 or 10. Now that Aidan is sleeping so much better and routinely goes to bed right at 7 and stays asleep for several hours (instead of 30-45 minutes like he was doing!) I have started really enjoying these quiet evenings alone. Of course I love hanging out with my husband, but after a busy day of constantly having a little one need so much from me, I'm thankful for a few nights a week to pop in a DVD of the Gilmore Girls and work on my own projects. I've enjoyed putting together our 2011 Shutterfly family album, I designed our Christmas cards, I can get some MOPS stuff done, I'm now working on details for Aidan's birthday party and writing Christmas cards. I love doing these things, and I love having quiet space a few nights a week that I can count on to be on my own.
R: Retreat (Gayle's Perks)
When we arrived in Northridge from Seattle I spent quite awhile trying to find a coffee shop that wasn't Starbucks that could be my new haunt. It wasn't until several months later that I found Gayle's Perks at the recommendation of some friends. It is a perfect little oasis, my retreat center if you will when I have a few hours to myself. They make the most incredibly amazing crepes and paninis as well as delicious lattes, they have comfy chairs, a library where you can swap books, an outdoor patio with fountains, and free internet. I love escaping here when Charles is with Aidan, I am so grateful for this little oasis in the midst of the valley!
S: Silleruds
I am so so thankful for Jim & Chris Sillerud. Jim is our senior pastor and Chris is the music director at the church but they are so much more than that. They have reached out to both of us so many times, encouraging us, mentoring us, inviting us for meals and even Easter dinner with their family, they have watched Aidan for us countless times, and they've become friends we love dearly. I don't even know how many times I showed up in Chris' office at the church with a fussing baby who wouldn't sleep and she'd take him from me and walk him around and calm him down and remind me that this would get easier. I don't know that I would have survived the first few months with Aidan if I hadn't had Chris around to help me manage! She was the first one who said "I am coming over tomorrow morning, you are going to leave the house and Aidan and I will be just fine. But you need a break!" Such a gift to a new and insecure mom!
T: Todd & Sarah
That same day back in May that I woke up feeling so lonely (the day that launched the book club) I reached out in another way. I sent a text to another mom from our MOPS group who I'd had a chance to hang out with a couple times asking if she and her husband would be interested in starting a super low key small group with Charles and I. Instead of formal bible study, we were looking for a few people to intentionally share life with--people who would get to know and love our son and who would let us know and love their kids. People we could share meals with and call with random questions or if we needed something. Sarah told me my text was an answer to prayer, that she and Todd had been looking for the same thing, for friends here in the neighborhood to connect with. So many times in the past 6 months I have been so so grateful for Todd & Sarah and their sweet family. We have shared meals together, gone on a double date, and have signed our babies up for the same baby gym class. They are an incredible couple, so wise and hospitable, and we are so so grateful for their friendship and presence in our lives.
U: Understanding Husband
No husband is ever fully prepared for that little bundle of joy to arrive--poor guys. They have no idea what's in store for them when it comes to the emotional mess their wives may turn into from hormones, breast feeding and sleep deprivation. My poor husband had to deal with the wreck I felt like I was and a baby who didn't sleep. And he was amazing. So many times he just held me as I cried, he tried to give me as many breaks as he could, and he came home with ice cream a lot. (Which proved to be way more important than flowers this year! Nursing moms need calories!!) Watching him learn and grow as a dad as Aidan has learned to interact more and play more has been so fun. The other day I came home to find every pillow I owned in the living room as they had been "playing fort" which melted my heart :) Yes, I am SO grateful for how patient he has been with me this year!
V: Vaughn
I have always been grateful for my dad's brother, he is an incredible uncle and he and my dad have always set an example of how to love your siblings so well. They have the best time together and are great friends in life. This year though I have a new appreciation for him! Vaughn is a pediatrician, a father of 4, and a grandpa of two precious little girls, and has a lot of life experience! He was invaluable to me in the first many months of parenthood, and I'm sure he will continue to be so! He made sure I knew he did not mind me calling with questions at all, and was so gracious with him time sitting on the phone with me encouraging me, helping me troubleshoot Aidan's feeding and crying issues, and talking through a lot of sleep issues. The greatest gift Vaughn gave me this year, though, is the freedom to realize there is no one right way to be a mom. There is no one right way to feed a baby or help him sleep or help him grow. Vaughn made sure I knew the two non-negotiables were that Aidan was safe and Aidan knew he was loved unconditionally. Beyond that I was allowed to relax, let him develop, let him grow, do what worked for our family even if it was counter to something I'd read in a book. He helped me get rid of the word "should" when it came to my baby. I was so fixated on what Aidan should be doing that I was failing to appreciate and celebrate what he
was doing. I am so so grateful for his counsel and his encouragement this year, it was exactly what I needed! (And I realized I don't have any pictures of him and I from recent years, but this is one of my favorites of the brothers!)
W: Walking Distance
One of the selling points of our apartment was that it is walking distance to absolutely anything we need, including the church. We only have one car, so for Charles to be able to walk to and from work is huge, but not only that I can walk to a myriad of stores in about 5 minutes. Almost every afternoon I put Aidan in my front carrier and walk him up to the grocery store for something, or over to the church to say hi to folks, or up to Starbucks or frozen yogurt or the craft store. Usually we just browse or look around. Having so much within a couple blocks of our house has truly spoiled us from a convenience factor, but there is another benefit to walking that I hadn't anticipated. You actually get to know some of your neighbors. We see the same elderly man walking his two fluffy white dogs each day. We have gotten to chat with the family who speaks only French, but who loves cooing over Aidan. We have gotten to know some of the clerks at the grocery store, they immediately recognize Aidan in his carrier and everyone stops to ask how he's doing. It's amazing how much more I feel like I have been able to meet people in the community just by being on foot and passing by them day after day until finally one of us starts a conversation. I am grateful for the ability and the opportunity to walk here!
X: eXperience
Okay, I'm cheating on this one, it doesn't start with an "X" but I'm stumped. And this is something I really am grateful for! I was so so grateful for the wisdom and experience other mom friends of mine shared with me this year. I have a few friends I'd call when I needed to figure something out with Aidan (usually in the areas of breast feeding and sleeping!) and these friends of mine were so wonderful at helping me process through different options and ideas without ever pushing one particular way of parenting onto me. Especially when it came to finally sleep training our little guy, I was so so thankful for the stories of what other families had tried and how that did or did not work for them. We are so inundated with information these days that sometimes I just needed the experience of other moms to help me sort through it all!
Y: Youth Elders
In a Presbyterian church the ruling body is made up of elders, who have just as much of an equal vote on matters as a pastor does. Each elder has an area of ministry they help oversee, and they help make decisions, advocate for, and offer guidance to these areas of ministry. We've been part of churches before where the elder(s) overseeing the youth ministry have not exactly done a stellar job for a variety of reasons. But this year, in our first year here at First Pres, I am super grateful for our 2 youth elders--Mark and Maria. They are the ones that help my husband make decisions, they advocate for him and have his back if there is any conflict or difficult choices to make, they have encouraged him over and over again this year, and genuinely care both about him and his personal life as well as about the youth and the ministry to them. We are so blessed to have these two folks involved in our lives this year, and I for one am SO grateful for the ways they have lifted Charles up and encouraged him when things have been tough.
Z: Zierman, Addie
I've posted a few links to Addie's blog on facebook throughout the year, and I hope some of you have checked her out. Addie is the author of the blog
How to Talk Evangelical and she is one of my very favorite writers out there. She knows how to craft words into sentences that are just beautiful. Oh to be able to write like her! I think that the reason I love her blog so much though is because I resonate with what she writes so so often. She was raised in an evangelical culture much like I was in my high school experience, and used the same language I used all the time in high school & college. She describes the purpose behind her blog as: "We used to call it “Christianese.” We thought it was so clever to say
it that way, like it was its own secret language – these words which
seemed clear to us but mystified others. Salvation. Justification.
Atonement.
We lounged on the old couches in the youth group room, penned our
testimonies, mused about our
calling, recounted a
God thing that happened at school the other day in the face of some serious
spiritual warfare. We were
planting seeds, having our
devos,
getting into the Word.
If Christianese was a language,
evangelical was our own
special dialect. A cadence. A rhythm. A set of colloquialisms and catch
phrases and clichés. I spent so much of my life conversing fluently in
the evangelical language that when I met a “foreigner,” I struggled to
find language." Addie unpacks this language in thought-provoking and beautiful ways that often give me chills. I am so grateful for writers like her to inspire me, to make me think and who help give me words to reflect upon my own life experience.
The Story Soundtrack: When I was in Iowa with my sister she reintroduced me to this amazing CD. Last year she and my parents went to see the live tour of "The Story"--a collection of artists and musicians and videos and amazing other things that tell the story of Jesus from creation through redemption. The music was all written for this production and each song tells the story of another character from scripture. I can't get enough. Abraham's, Esther's, Mary's, and Jesus' "songs" have been on repeat in my car for a month now. You can actually order a DVD of the entire show and it's touring again this year so you can google to see if it's coming to a location near you!
Renee & Jeremy: Another super awesome children's duo, music that is mellow and fun, and most importantly, won't drive mom nuts! I'm all about starting this trend in our music early! We have Renee and Jeremy on Pandora a lot these days too!
Gilmore Girls: So this isn't a new show by any means, but I'm re-obsessed with it. My best friend was cleaning out some stuff as she moved and decided it was time to part with her seasons of Gilmore Girls. I said I was missing 3 seasons and so she sent them to me and I started watching immediately. Oh man, I forgot how much I love this show. It's usually on in the background as I am cleaning up after Aidan's in bed but it makes me smile a lot :) The fast talking, witty, and charming Lorelai and Rory are part of my youth, and my early 30s apparently.
Food: Have you ever tried Trader Joe's ice cream? It's amazing. Really, SO creamy, so delicious. I'm a little obsessed with their Chocolate Caramel Swirl these days and have been waiting for their holiday ice cream to come out. 
On Thanksgiving we had a new wine that was incredible. Hey Mambo is a "sultry red blend" (although they have a chardonay too I think) and I've had a tough time finding it, but it was so good it's been worth calling multiple stores. I did find it at a wine store nearby but they were sold out. At $8 a bottle it's a "splurge wine" for us (ie it's more than Two Buck Chuck...) but it's worth it for a special occasion!
Organizing: I just got my new dayplanner for the next year and I'm a little obsessed. I kind of love it. I found it through erincondren.com and really love all her stuff--very cute designs and colors and the options to personalize things. She thought of everything in this planner:
Advent Decorations: I didn't put any Christmas decorations up this year, partly because Aidan would pull everything down (I'm out of child proof surfaces...) and partly because we won't be here for Christmas this year. I did however decorate for Advent with some things I made at a MOPS craft night, and I'm loving the simple accents of purple around the apartment. Traditionally in the church year the Christmas season is actually the 12 days AFTER christmas, so I'm contemplating maintaining the tradition of decorating for advent before Christmas and breaking out the red and green after Christmas....we'll see what I decide to do next year, but I like the idea. 
