What I'm Into

I missed last month's 'What I'm Into' post and link up over at Hopeful Leigh since we were in the midst of traveling from the midwest to Hawaii and back to LA, so for the past two months here are the little things that have brought much joy to my life.

Gadgets: My new immersion blender.  This was my Christmas gift from my best friend and it is something I never would have thought to ask for but am now wondering how I ever lived without it.  It is an amazing invention.  I've been making smoothies (no need to drag out the whole blender every day!), homemade salad dressings, milkshakes, and baked potato soup.  Every time I came across a recipe that called for blending a soup after simmering I always skipped over it--I have had a few messy and disasterous attempts at blending a hot soup in a regular blender and decided never to do that again.  Now, when I come across one of those recipes I just pull out my handy dandy new immersion blender and blend right in the soup pot!  Love it!

My iPhone.  I can admit it, I was wrong.  Until a month ago I had never had a smartphone.  My husband has had one but we only wanted to pay for 1 data plan so I've had the "free" Verizon phone.  About a month ago for a variety of reasons we asked Verizon to swap our phones, so now I have the iphone.  I honestly didn't think I would like it.  I haven't ever really liked typing on the touch screen, and didn't think I would have any use for the aps.  Umm, I can admit when I am wrong.  I love my phone.  I love it so so much.  I don't love typing on the touch screen and wish I could go back to my T9 word typing, but I love having internet with me when I'm sitting nursing the babe (man I wish I'd had this all year!).  I love instagram and taking photos and uploading them straight to facebook (mostly because I'm with our kiddo all day and he's super cute and photo-worthy in my opinion!)  It's a great phone and I'm super excited to have it.

Books:

I really only read one full book in the past month.  I know, pathetic for me.  But I found I kind of hit this lull--I didn't want to be reading.  But I did read our book club's January selection which was The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon and oh my word did I love this book.  Most of us did.  It's a story with so many layers--it's part mystery, part love story, part coming of age story...it's full of symbolism and all kinds of lovely literary tricks that make for a fantastic book.  I'd highly recommend this one!

In the Blogosphere:
My favorite post of the past month or so was by Rachel Held Evans and was written after the Connecticut school shooting.  It was titled God Can't Be Kept Out, and many of you probably read it, but it's worth a re-read if you have a moment.

My favorite new series is the series One Good Phrase being hosted by Micah Boyett over at her blog.  I love this idea & have a few good phrases that have shaped me mulling around in my head waiting for their own posts in the near future.  Check out her blog and the guest posts that have contributed to this series so far.

On the Silver Screen:
Does the Silver Screen only refer to movies?  Or does it refer to TV shows as well?  I don't know but I don't have a lot of time to watch either, so I'm going to lump them together in this category :)
My beloved Parenthood wrapped up it's season already.  What a season it was.  I loved it.  I laughed and cried with every episode which I think is the mark of great writing.  The professor I work for was talking about the finale in class this week, saying how it was one of the best images in Hollywood of what the body of Christ can look like--an intergenerational family seeing a kid in need and adopting him to be one of their own.  It was a beautiful season and I'm hoping it returns for another run.

The Biggest Loser came back on and my hubby and I enjoy watching this one together.  This year they're focusing on childhood obesity & they have 3 amazing teens on the show participating to various degrees with the other contestants.  The 12 year old boy Biingo (that's what he goes by) might be my favorite kid ever.  Besides my own that is.  He's adorable, and has an amazing amount of personality.  I heart him.  Jillian is back as well but I'm not sure that's a great thing--her team is down to one player, which isn't the greatest track record!

I had the chance to see 2 movies in the past 2 months, which is 2 more than I saw the rest of 2012!  On Christmas day I went to see my long awaited love Les Miserables, and I was blown away.  I loved it.  I thought it was cast almost perfectly (I was not crazy about Russel Crowe), and I loved the artistic rendering of it.  It's one I can't wait to own.  I thought Anne Hathaway was heartbreakingly perfect as Fantine, and I thought Marius was incredible.  I hope it wins all the Oscars it's nominated for!

This past weekend I had the chance to go see Silver Lining's Playbook with a friend.  We have worked out a great system for movie watching :)  She's also a mom with two young kids and she and her husband have become good friends.  The guys have gone to see a few movies together after the kids are in bed on Saturday evenings and this weekend we decided we wanted in on this deal too!  So she and I went to a matinee while our kids were home with their dads and then our husbands went to see some guy movie that night after bedtime.  It worked wonderfully :)  Anyways, I had no idea what to expect with this film, I didn't know anything about it other than that it has been getting a lot of Oscar buzz and it wasn't violent like so many other films are.  So we gave it a try & both of us really really enjoyed it.  I would definitely recommend it--it's funny, sweet, deals with some incredible family dynamics (it would be a great movie to assign to a class on family systems!) and is pretty honest and real.

I think that's about it for the past two months!  How about you?  What are a few things you've been into lately?

Benediction

When I worked with the children's ministry program at my church in Seattle I had the amazing privilege to learn and experience the Godly Play curriculum.  For those who aren't familiar with Godly Play, you can read more about the program here but essentially it is a Sunday School program that assumes children are capable of encountering the mystery and majesty of God in silence, in opportunities to pose "wondering" questions, and in the participation in the ancient liturgy of the church (simplified to their level of course).  It's an incredible program and in my opinion probably the best way to help our children learn to worship and experience God so they are able to make the transition to worshiping with the larger corporate body.

Anyways!  This post really isn't an advertisement for Godly Play!  I was a worship leader for the 4-6 year old room and one of my very favorite parts of that role was getting the opportunity to bestow a blessing, or a benediction, upon each child before they left every week.  They would all be sitting in a circle and one by one I'd call them up to me.  Some would sit on the floor in front of me or next to me.  Some would exuberantly throw themselves into my lap for a quick snuggle as I gave them their blessing.  Others would more shyly approach.  I would lean towards them and whisper words meant only for them into their ear, placing my hand upon their head in the ancient motion of blessing  someone.  I would try to incorporate some aspect of the day's story, but I would also try to make it personal to their lives.  If I knew Ryan had a soccer game and the lesson of the day was how God was with Abram and Sarai everywhere he sent them, I may have whispered "Ryan, may you always remember the Lord goes with you everywhere you go this week, he's with you in the classroom, he's with you on that soccer field, and he's with you as you lay down to sleep each evening. May God bless you and keep you.  Amen."  If one of the children came from a difficult family situation I would incorporate words of blessing that addressed their life somehow.

This was powerful.  In so many ways.  For the little ones, you could visibly see their countenance change as they got up from receiving their blessings and headed towards the door.  They exited into the rest of their week buoyed by the words of love, grace, and God's truth spoken over them.  Many many children would tell us that the blessing was their favorite part of Sunday School.   We live in a culture and a world where critique is everywhere.  Every assignment we turn in, every play on the sports field, every outfit we wear is up for the critique and evaluation of the world around us.  We are all hungry for words of grace and love to be spoken over us. As the one giving the blessings I found myself in awe of the privilege to be one of the voices speaking into these little minds and hearts.  It was powerful, and that experience has stayed with me all these years.  I haven't spoken a blessing over a child since I left Seattle in 2005, yet I've never forgotten those holy moments, that sacred ground when a child expectantly waited for her unique benediction.

My friend Kimberlee is a mom of 4 beautiful children, and is doing an amazing job raising them to love the Lord.  She has carefully & thoughtfully incorporated aspects of the church calendar, liturgy, and rhythm into her family life, and I've learned a lot from her as I've read her blog and her book over the years.  Every night she and her husband speak the words of each child's baptismal verse over them, mark them with the sign of the cross on their foreheads and speak a benediction over them.  I have loved this idea since the moment I heard about it long before Aidan ever existed.

Now that it's my turn to put my little one to sleep I have begun the ritual of speaking a blessing over him as he begins to nurse to sleep in my arms.  I mark his forehead with the sign of the cross, the same way it was marked with the waters of his baptism.  I speak the words of a scripture passage over him--not one particular verse yet, each night it's the words of a different verse, words I want to begin taking root in his little soul.  I long for him to always know the height and depth and breadth of God's love for him.  I pray he will always know that when the waters of life swirl around him they will not sweep over him.  I hope he will never ever forget that the Lord delights in him.  I pray he will be a boy and then a man who will love justice and mercy.   In these moments my ordinary hands, the hands that spend the day wiping a little nose and a little bottom, the hands that wash what feels like a never ending slew of dishes, hands that type words of reflection into a computer--these ordinary every day hands become holy.  As they caress a tiny forehead and smooth back fly away strands of baby hair something powerful happens.  I'm sure Aidan can't feel it, and doesn't realize it, but in these quiet moments of blessing my son I am somehow changed.  My perspective shifts and refocuses.  The frustration of having to tell him twenty times in a day not to touch the DVD player melts away and I remember that in the long run, what really matters is that these holy and ancient words from scripture begin to take root in his tiny heart.  I sit and I rock and I nurse him and I pray.  I pray words of blessing, words of benediction.  And I pray that somehow these moments of grace make a difference--in his life and in my own.

Live for Now

**This was a devotion I gave for our MOPS group this fall, but as I'm reflecting on a new year, it still seems pertinent to what I'm learning these days!

So there is this billboard I keep passing that is a Pepsi ad.  It’s tag line that keeps catching my attention says “Pepsi.  Live for Now.”   The first time I passed it my initial reaction was “that’s kind of what’s wrong with our culture today…everyone running around living for now…living for the moment….doing what feels good and right in the moment with no thought about future consequences or the impact our choices have on our own futures or the futures of others.”  The next several times I drove by it I had the same reaction.  It seemed selfish to me to live for now…this billboard seemed to be saying to me “go ahead, do what you want, life is short, it’s okay to throw responsibility to the wind and live for the moment.”  I didn’t feel like our society really needed more  permission to behave this way, and every time I went by this billboard I found myself irritated at Pepsi. 

I passed it again yesterday and for some reason its message struck me a completely different way—in a way I’m not sure the masterminds behind Pepsi’s advertising intended, but in a way I thought I’d share with you.  I’ve been working on my 2011 Shutterfly scrapbook this past weekend quite a bit, so the events of that year are fresh in my mind and heart right now.  2011 was a bittersweet year if I’ve ever had one, and through the experiences of the year God patiently taught me over and over again to stay in the present, to not worry about, plan or control the future.  In essence, God was teaching me to “live for now.”   

In January of 2011 my husband and I both finished up our masters of divinity degrees from Fuller Seminary, packed up our apartment in Pasadena, said goodbye to close friends and headed north up I-5 to the new townhouse we had just purchased in Seattle, WA.  Charles had just been given the job as youth director at a church there, and I was going to be helping him out, working along side him, using my degree and training as well while we settled in and prepared to start a family.  We moved in Martin Luther King weekend of 2011 and on January 18^th he started his job.  I was looking back on my journal entries of that winter and realized it only took exactly 3 weeks of working at this church before I wrote the words “Lord, did we make a huge mistake?” It’s a long story but we quickly realized the church we were serving at wasn’t exactly the church that had been described to us in the interview process.  The next several months were full of literally working 70+ hour weeks, panic attacks, accidentally trusting the wrong people with information, learning a lot of lessons the hard way, and feeling utterly & completely exhausted and burned out.  And we found out in the midst of all this that I was pregnant. 

We shared our exciting news with the pastor and mentioned that over the next 9 months we might need to make some changes to our current youth schedule, there wasn’t any way we could keep us that kind of pace when a baby was added to our family.  Two weeks later, in mid-june, he called my husband into his office one Wednesday morning.  He was told they had voted at their meeting the night before and had decided that he wasn’t the right youth director for their church, that he was being let go immediately.  

Honestly our first reaction was “oh thank God we never have to go back to that place, it was killing us.”  But our next reaction was “holy crap!  We are 9 weeks pregnant, we just bought a house, we have absolutely no idea what is next!”  Plus, we were hurt.  We were so angry and so disillusioned by everything that had happened in the past 6 months. 

If there are a few adjectives I could use to describe myself it would be “planner,” “control freak” and “not a fan of surprises!”  Needless to say I wasn’t a huge fan of what God was doing.  I kept trying to trust that whatever he had in store for us had to be better, but I wanted so so badly to know the “whats” and “whens” and “hows.”  We started another nation-wide job search, there were no youth director jobs in seattle at that time, so we knew staying there wasn’t going to be likely.  Doors seemed to be closing right and left throughout last summer.  We kept having this feeling that we were waiting for something but we just hadn’t figure out what it was yet.  We did a lot of traveling, spent a lot of time with family, and Charles even spent the whole month of August at a camp in the middle of nowhere in northern Minnesota doing some youth ministry training and a lot of healing.   In mid-September the job here at First Pres literally fell in our laps.  God worked through some amazing logistics and details and circumstances to bring us right back here, not far from where we started our 2011 journey, to a staff full of close friends of ours from Fuller, to a community that has embraced us and our child wholeheartedly from the beginning.  It was an incredible whirlwind of a fall last year—selling our house, moving down here and in with a family from the church for a month while we figured out where we were going to live, getting health insurance switched and finding a new OB at 32 weeks pregnant.  We moved into our apartment over Thanksgiving last year, spent December getting settled, and Aidan was born MLK weekend of 2012—a perfect beautiful bookend to our bittersweet journey of 2011. 

Through it all, the recurring theme kept being “stay in today.  Live for now.  You can’t do anything about your future until I choose to reveal it, so do not worry.”  In the moment, it was excruciating, but for the first time in my life I felt so strongly that God was somehow in control.  God was bringing us through the desert into a place he was preparing for us, and that somehow it was all going to fall into place before this baby arrived.  I swung back and forth between panic and peace.  But I started to slowly understand what scripture meant when Jesus tells us: “²⁵ “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?  ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Live for now.  We have so many things in life we can get caught up in worrying about.  Finances, health, education, our marriages, jobs…the list goes on and on.  But Jesus invites us to let go of those things, to not live in a state of fear and panic about the future.  He invites us to live in this day.  In this moment.  Maybe not exactly in the way the Pepsi folks meant it when they chose their slogan, but I think by choosing to live in the here and now is our way of saying “okay God, I trust you.  I can’t see around the corner.  I can’t see what’s coming up, and that scares me to death, but I choose to trust you.”  We’re entering a new year…January is almost behind us.  What is looming on your horizons this year that has you worried?  What can we place into the hands of Jesus?  I don’t know that I’ve made any new year’s resolutions this year, but attempting to let go and live in today is definitely one of my focuses.  Will you join me in saying no to worry this year? 

One

Oh little boy, life has completely run away with me and for the past four months I have been meaning to write your monthly updates, but I haven't.  Life with you feels so full and so busy, and I wouldn't change a thing.  One week ago, you turned one.  One year ago I was wondering who you were going to be, who this little person was who kicked me non stop for months and months.  And now I know.  I have a little face and voice and personality and mannerisms that I have come to know and love more than I ever imagined possible.  This first year has been quite the crazy ride, full of ups and downs, joy, laughter, some tears, a lot of middle of the night bonding sessions, many trips, and a whole lot of learning for both of us!

Everyone told me not to blink, that the weeks go by so quickly, and they weren't kidding.  You change and learn something new almost daily, certainly weekly, so that makes it feel even more as if time were racing past.  Somewhere around November, when you were 10 months old, I found myself exclaiming one day "where is the pause button??  I want to keep you just like this for just a little longer!!"  Each stage has brought new delight, new challenges, has endeared you a little more to my heart.  Here is your round up of milestones at your first birthday.

You aren't walking or talking yet, but you love standing and pull yourself up on anything and everything you can reach.  Your balance is improving more and more each day and you'll let go of whatever you're holding onto if you get distracted by something.  Once you realize you're standing alone you immediately sit down, but you're getting more and more steady!  You babble non stop!  If you're awake, you're talking!  Your favorite sound is a repetitive "ma ma ma mama" sound, although you haven't seemed to connect the sound with my name.  You love to clap your hands and wave your arms in a flapping fashion when you hear music or when you get excited.  It's pretty dang precious.  You eat anything and everything we put in front of you--and now that you're one we've introduced peanut butter (which you LOVE and are not allergic to!) and milk (which you don't seem to be such a huge fan of but it's only been two days...)

You are still not sleeping through the night, but you are getting longer and longer with your stretches of sleep.  If I let you cry it out more than I do I'm sure you'd be better at sleeping, but your screaming breaks my heart.  One of these days we'll get back to sleep training you now that all our crazy holiday travel is over!  You love your giraffe lovey that you snuggle with each night, and you love looking at your books (when you decide to sit still for a bit!), splashing in the bath tub, and shoes and socks.  You are obsessed with your shoes and socks.  You bring me pairs of socks when you find them and point to your feet as if you need to be wearing them even if you're already wearing a pair.  My money is on "shoes" being one of your first words.  You also love playing at My Gym, and you will climb anything you find. 

You are no longer afraid to be left in the church nursery--you love having a new room of toys to explore and you've figured out that Mommy will be back.  You've had several baby sitters this past month too and you've done well with them, even letting them put you to bed which is a huge step!

Aidan this year has flown by in so many ways.  Your daddy and I are crazy about you.  I don't think I have ever been so fascinated by anything in my life as I am with watching you learn and grow.  Watching you play with your hands, clapping them, folding them, waving them.  Watching you find your toes and your head and my belly button.  Seeing the delight in your eyes as we walk under a tree that is waving its branches in the wind.  Watching you "dance" to music you hear and with your buddy Ellen on TV each afternoon.  Seeing the wonder in your expression as you pass a puppy dog on the sidewalk.  The list goes on and on.  I'm astounded watching God's perfect little creation discover the world around him.  There are way too many precious moments to record or put into words, from family snuggle times, to reading stories, to traveling, tickling matches, your first Christmas, and your first birthday party.  We can't wait to see how you continue growing and learning, and we have a feeling you are going to keep us on our toes! We love you baby boy!!

There and back again and there and back again and party time!

Every year I hear people lamenting about how busy and stressful and crazy the holidays are--with shopping, cooking, parties, traveling, gift wrapping, standing in line at the post office and a myriad of other tasks that creep onto our to-do lists.  And every year I don't quite understand why people are so stressed out!  Until I experienced trying to do these tasks with an 11 month old.  Ahh.  Now I get it.  Shopping, gift wrapping, planning a Christmas party, baking treats....all are so much harder with a tiny "helper" present!  It was a bit of a full month for us.  We had multiple Christmas parties to both attend and help throw between the staff party, the MOPS party, the youth advisor's party, the junior high party and the senior high party.  We had gifts to buy, gifts to make, gifts to wrap--all of which took place after the munchkin was asleep.  And then we traveled with our sweet little non-sleeper.  Don't get me wrong, it was all worth it, and getting to see both of our families was so amazing, we wouldn't have traded it for anything!  But it's mid-January and I am just now finally feeling as if I'm catching up on sleep!

Our first stop was Minneapolis where Aidan and I headed a few days before Charles was able to take off.  We spent a week there playing with cousins, baking, playing board games, taking turns watching the kids and just generally hanging out.  Aidan loved having Lily & Brooke to play with, and tried his hardest to keep up with them.  He fully explored the lower shelves of Grandma's pantry and tupperware drawers, completely removing every item from these spaces more than once.  He tried his harest to get the baby gate open so he could go down the stairs, and he nearly succeeded.  As Nathan said "that gate has worked fine for 3 years, then Aidan shows up and all of a sudden it's not baby proof anymore!"  (Yes, I think he's a bit of an engineer at one year old already...)  Bath time in Grandma's big bath tub, dancing to Papa's silly turkey, and playing with new Christmas gifts rounded out his time in the midwest.  Because we were traveling on Christmas day, we pretended like the 24th was Christmas day and just moved everything up a day.  Santa came the night of the 23rd, presents were opened throughout the day on the 24th culminating in church that afternoon.  On the morning of the 25th we did something none of us had ever done--the 4 of us "kids" went to go see the movie Les Mis at 9:30 AM.  Rather than popcorn we enjoyed our hot mochas while watching Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway bring to life a story we've all grown to love over the years.

Lily spent the week regaling us with her one-liners as only Lily can do.  My personal favorites were: "Auntie Sarah, you are doing such a good job taking care of baby Aidan!" (Thank you Lily, we all need cheerleaders in life!) and "Maybe Gramma Nan is out shopping in heaven." (Maybe, but if you know Gramma Nan, you know that is NOT how she's spending her time in heaven!) and "What are these cookies Grandma?"  "Those are lady fingers."  "Oh.  Well can boys eat them?"  and "Do the stars have eyes?"  "No I don't think stars have eyes."  "Well in the song it says the stars in the heavens look down where he lay. How do they look without eyes?"  I love that kid.  A lot!

We flew home for less than 48 hours, long enough to repack and try to adjust back to west coast time before catching the bus to LAX for our flight to Honolulu!  We were so so blessed by the amazing and generous gift of a week in Hawaii with Charles' family.  There were 17 of us there for a week of sand, snorkeling  exploring, and even some surfing.  Unfortunately several of the crew ended up with the 24 hour stomach bug, but thankfully Aidan, Charles and I had all had it in October and that made us somewhat immune to it.  We discovered that Aidan has a lot of his daddy in him and LOVES the sand and water more than anything.  He went nuts trying to get in the ocean every time he saw it.  We enjoyed an amazing polynesian show, a lovely luau, some delicious wine, grilled steaks, and board games with the older nieces and nephew.  The highlight for me was having amazing family members watch Aidan for an evening so Charles and I could escape to Waikiki for a lovely dinner at the top of a tower there--with amazing views and really good food.  (My husband also picked out and bought a sundress all on his own for me to wear that night--something he's never done before which was so sweet!)  It was so wonderful having so many people there to love on Aidan and care for him--I love that he's able to get to know his family even though we live so far away!  

We had one week after returning home before my family flew in for Aidan's first birthday, and one week to put together a party.  It was a busy week!  I felt like we had suitcases and stuff everywhere, no clue how to decorate a rather unattractive fellowship hall, and a baby who decided to start teething as he was trying to readjust to being back in his own bed and own time zone.  None of us slept much last week!  But his party was so fun, and it was a great weekend celebrating him and the ways he has grown in the past year.  We tried keeping things pretty small and low key--just about 20 people who know us and Aidan well, with homemade decorations from construction paper and photos of him.  We were so blessed to have a great community around us to celebrate this milestone!  

Now life has returned to "normal."  I don't have any more parties (Christmas or birthday!) to plan, our MOPS speaker schedule is finally filled out for the semester, I'm home for several weeks without traveling anywhere, and I don't have an insane to do list.  It feels absolutely luxurious.  I want to write a bit more, I finally picked up my book that I had set down for 3 weeks (our book club meets next Monday and I still have about 240 pages to go!), I want to enjoy days with my little one where I don't drag him on errands--where we can just go for a walk to look at the trees and birds or where I can sit on the floor with him and play with him rather than trying to merely keep him distracted while I quickly get something done.  I'm so grateful for all we were able to do in the past month.  And I am so grateful for this next month of "nothing."  Until I head to Denver over President's Day weekend that is....:)

Things I'm Into--November Edition

One of the blogs I read had a very fun post a week or so ago, a more light-hearted look at things she was into that month--shows, music, food, books etc--and she shared them with her readers.  I loved the idea.  Usually I just make a list in my journal each year about the things I was into that year (so I know that in 2004 I was obsessed with The West Wing re-runs and 2011 was the year of Mumford and Sons).  But I love the idea of thinking monthly about the little things that I find myself into, so I thought I'd try that here this month.  This is actually a list of November's items--December's list will have to come at the end of the month :)  So in no particular order, here's what's making my world go round these days...

Music:
The Story Soundtrack:  When I was in Iowa with my sister she reintroduced me to this amazing CD.  Last year she and my parents went to see the live tour of "The Story"--a collection of artists and musicians and videos and amazing other things that tell the story of Jesus from creation through redemption.  The music was all written for this production and each song tells the story of another character from scripture.  I can't get enough.  Abraham's, Esther's, Mary's, and Jesus' "songs" have been on repeat in my car for a month now.  You can actually order a DVD of the entire show and it's touring again this year so you can google to see if it's coming to a location near you!

Elizabeth Mitchell:  I cannot get enough of her music!  She has done a ton of children's albums that are AMAZING!  Everything has a little blue grass undertones, but her songs are classics--Froggy Went a Courtin, You Are My Sunshine, Hey Bo Diddley, and SO SO many others. Her music makes me want to cry it's so beautiful.  Yes, I'm a nerd.  Her Pandora station might be on constantly in my house these days. 

Renee & Jeremy: Another super awesome children's duo, music that is mellow and fun, and most importantly, won't drive mom nuts!  I'm all about starting this trend in our music early!  We have Renee and Jeremy on Pandora a lot these days too!

TV: My 2 new shows this fall are the NBC sitcom Go On with Matthew Perry, which I think is funny and sweet, and the Steve Harvey show which is on each afternoon.  I am love him!  Super practical relationship advice, fun segments, really down to earth--he definitely adds some fun to my afternoons!  My other 2 "regular" shows I continue watching are Ellen (and I love that my little one knows her theme music and stops what he's doing to wave his arms and smile at the TV) and Parenthood which I have faithfully watched all it's seasons.  I cry every single episode, I don't think a show has ever done that to me before!


Gilmore Girls: So this isn't a new show by any means, but I'm re-obsessed with it.  My best friend was cleaning out some stuff as she moved and decided it was time to part with her seasons of Gilmore Girls.  I said I was missing 3 seasons and so she sent them to me and I started watching immediately.  Oh man, I forgot how much I love this show.  It's usually on in the background as I am cleaning up after Aidan's in bed but it makes me smile a lot :)  The fast talking, witty, and charming Lorelai and Rory are part of my youth, and my early 30s apparently.

Food:  Have you ever tried Trader Joe's ice cream?  It's amazing.  Really, SO creamy, so delicious.  I'm a little obsessed with their Chocolate Caramel Swirl these days and have been waiting for their holiday ice cream to come out. 

The other new food find in my life is Butternut Squash Ravioli--we have eaten quite a few of these packages this fall, my husband and son even gobbling it up! 

On Thanksgiving we had a new wine that was incredible.  Hey Mambo is a "sultry red blend" (although they have a chardonay too I think) and I've had a tough time finding it, but it was so good it's been worth calling multiple stores.  I did find it at a wine store nearby but they were sold out.  At $8 a bottle it's a "splurge wine" for us (ie it's more than Two Buck Chuck...) but it's worth it for a special occasion!

Organizing: I just got my new dayplanner for the next year and I'm a little obsessed.  I kind of love it.  I found it through erincondren.com and really love all her stuff--very cute designs and colors and the options to personalize things.  She thought of everything in this planner:
a monthly view: 
 

 a weekly view

fun tabs, stickers, a zip lock pocket to keep things in, and lots of pages for notes/lists etc. I'm a big fan.

Advent Decorations:  I didn't put any Christmas decorations up this year, partly because Aidan would pull everything down (I'm out of child proof surfaces...) and partly because we won't be here for Christmas this year.  I did however decorate for Advent with some things I made at a MOPS craft night, and I'm loving the simple accents of purple around the apartment.  Traditionally in the church year the Christmas season is actually the 12 days AFTER christmas, so I'm contemplating maintaining the tradition of decorating for advent before Christmas and breaking out the red and green after Christmas....we'll see what I decide to do next year, but I like the idea. 

In the Blogosphere: Here are a few posts I loved this past month: 

I loved this one from Micah Boyett on Halloween--on Jesus and Saints and Death

This one from Addie Zierman on finding a church home was beautiful to me.

As was this one from her: 10 Reasons Why This Christian Mama Loves Halloween

Rachel Held Evan's brought me to tears with Sisters, Speak.

How about you? What are you into these days??

Thanksgiving A-Z 2012

For some reason Thanksgiving crept upon me this year--probably because it's a week earlier this year than it usually is!  Every November my tradition is to come up with a list of things I have been thankful for that previous year using the alphabet for inspiration.  This is my 7th year doing this, and is a discipline I hope to continue even though sometimes I have to stretch a bit to get a letter to work!  As I have re-read my past A-Z lists I realize each list generally ends up having a theme of some sort--some years it was school, last year as things were so hard it was actually praising God for many things in the midst of that difficulty.  This year of course Aidan is a theme, but I realized after I finished this list that there ended up being several specific people I was grateful for.  In a year of making new friends and adjusting to parenthood, a few certain people stood out in my mind as having gone above and beyond in their love and embracing of us and our family.  We of course appreciate SO many more people than are on my little list this year, but I have been especially grateful for a few individuals for some specific roles they've played in our lives this year.  As we celebrate thanksgiving and move in to Advent may we remember that we have so many things--large and small--to thank God for!

A: Aidan

This one might be a bit obvious...but I am so so thankful for this unbelievable baby boy God placed in my life.  He amazes me daily with his curiosity, his energy, his smile, and with how much he loves me back.  That sounds strange, but I've never been the center of someone's world before, in the way that you are with your baby, and there is something incredible about seeing his face and eyes light up when you walk in the room.  We adore our sweet Aidan, and thank God for him every day.  

B: Book club

 Back in May I woke up one morning so so lonely and sad.  I had a baby who never slept, I was exhausted, I didn't feel like I had many friends, and I was so sure that this is what life was going to be like forever.  I'm not sure what inspired me to do this, but I decided to take action and on that day I emailed a bunch of people from church who I knew enjoyed reading and asked if they wanted to form a book club.  I was amazed at how many were interested, and how many husbands and sons wanted to join too!  Our little group has met once a month since, and has read a variety of titles.  I'm so grateful for this group of folks who enjoy reading and discussing books, and who are committed to being involved!  Gathering with them for dinner first and then discussion of our book is definitely  something I look forward to each month!  And along with this topic I am super grateful for my friends Julie & Jill, fellow readers who have been the bright spots in so many of my days--I love seeing the two of them around church and for the ways they have welcomed our family into their community this year.

C: Co-Sleeping

I am laughing to myself that this is one of my things I'm thankful for, because about 6 months ago I would have told you all the reasons I was never going to let my baby share our bed.  Then we had Aidan.  From day one this kid was a "social sleeper," napping best in my arms or plastered to me in the Sleepy Wrap carrier.  Long story short sometime in May I brought him to bed with me out of pure exhaustion and he spent the rest of the summer in our bed for part of each night.  He'd nurse on and off throughout the night, snuggle up against me and crash, hit me in the face as he'd flail his arms around, and wake me with his little whimperings and murmurings in his sleep.  And I cherish those nights.  I LOVED having him cuddled up against me as he fell in to a deep sleep.  It was the only time of day he'd hold still for cuddles!  He now sleeps in his own bed (for the most part--traveling earlier this month threw that off a bit!) but every morning he wakes around 6 and Charles brings him into our bed for me to nurse and he'll doze back off snuggled up against me until about 7.  I love that last sleepy hour of each morning before we start our day.  The way I see it, pretty soon there's no way he's going to want to snuggle with Mommy--so I'm going to be grateful for it and take advantage of it while I can!

D: Dinner, a Love Story

 Words cannot express how much I loved this book. I could not put it down.  Part cookbook, part memoir, it's the story of one average, everyday family who has determined to make family dinner a priority in their home.  She tells their story of how they did that, in various stages of life--newly wed, with a baby, with two toddlers, and now with elementary aged children, and the book is packed full of recipes that look like food I would actually cook and eat.  I loved this book, and love the inspiration it's given me as I think about our own family and what family dinner may look like over the years as kids grow and change.

E: Extended Vacations
Every time Charles had a camp or retreat, I chose to avoid sitting here alone with the little one and hopped a plane to see family.  I am so grateful for the time I had with them this year (and the help they gave once I arrived at their place!).  In July I got to spend 3 full weeks at my parent's house while Charles had 2 different camps to attend, and while 3 weeks was a long time for him to go not seeing his boy I was grateful to have company and to get some extended time with my parents!

F:  Friday Family Adventure Days
 Working at a church usually means one's weekends are pretty much shot...not necessarily in a bad way, but Saturday is usually spent getting ready for Sunday and Sunday for my husband is usually a 13 hour work day.  Needless to say we had to be intentional about carving out and protecting Fridays for our time together, and I am so grateful we did (and still do!)  Some weeks Charles goes to surf in the morning and then we go do something fun together that afternoon.  A lot of weeks I get to go to a coffee shop in the morning to write and think and he stays home with the little one.  Other weeks we just go somewhere as a family for the day.  We explored the children's section of Barnes & Noble, we went to the Venice Beach canals which we'd never seen before, we headed north up to Ventura one day (where Charles surfed and Aidan and I explored the town)...it changed each week but it was so nice to have a specific day to play together as a family.  I did no housework, no cooking, and nothing "responsible" on those days, we just played.  And we needed that!

 G: Grandparents
Not too many little ones have so many grandparents who love them so much!  I am thankful that our little guy has 2 sets of grandparents, one set of great-grandparents, and several adopted grandparents from church who love him so dearly.  I am grateful for the time they spend playing with him, shopping for him, quilting for him, talking to him on Skype, and praying for him.  It really does take a village to raise a child, and our child has a pretty great village surrounding him from coast to coast!  Included in this category are Bob & Sheila, Aidan's "adopted grandparents" here in LA who have babysat for him so many times so we could have a date night.  They have taken him probably at least once a month since he was about 6 weeks old or so, and I am SO grateful for how well they care for him and how much they love him (and us!) through their act of service.  Babysitters are expensive and there's no way we could afford date nights if it involved paying for sitters too--Bob & Sheila (and others) have given us such a gift!

H: Helpful Gifts
We've been the recipient of many wonderful hand me downs and other helpful baby items, but the most helpful baby gift we've been receiving this year has been from my in laws.  Charles' parents have been shipping cases of diapers to us every couple months from Sam's Club on line and it is an amazing gift.  Every so often a case will show up here on my door step, and we are so so blessed by them.  It's incredible to have a 10 month old and to have only paid for diapers probably twice in his little life.  We are SO grateful for this super helpful gift!!

 I: Iowa

I love the community I live in here in LA, but I will say the one big thing I've missed is having 4 distinct seasons--especially fall.  When my sister moved to Iowa in August I knew I wanted to go visit her, and decided to book my trip for when fall would be in full swing there.  It was such a fun week.  I never knew the landscape in Iowa is actually beautiful--rolling farmland, fields as far as the eye can see.  Still lakes, the crisp air that turns noses red and inspires one to make apple cider each afternoon, the geese heading south, and the leaves!  Oh the leaves!   It was awesome, definitely a fantastic trip and definitely one I'll be repeating each autumn to give me my "fall fix!" Plus it was wonderful to have time with my sister & her husband and kiddos, so fun to be "grown ups" now with kids of our own!

J: J.R.R. Tolkien
 When Charles & I were dating and first married one of the things we did was read aloud together.  We read all 7 of the Chronicles of Narnia to one another, and then for some reason we kind of stopped. We slipped back into habits of zoning out in front of our own computers, or watching TV, not really interacting.  A couple weeks ago we were climbing into bed and Charles said "we should start another book together, I miss reading with you." I missed it too.  The Hobbit is coming out as a movie on Dec. 4th, and while we probably will not be finished by then, we're working our way through the book, reading a chapter at a time a couple nights a week.  I forgot that I really do love Tolkien's work--The Hobbit has made us laugh aloud many times already, and while it's wordy at times we are both really enjoying the story.  I love that we end our days like this, it is so much more relaxing than the noise and lights of a TV or computer screen, and I love that it's a hobby we have found that we share with one another.

K: Kyle
As I talk to other wives one of the themes that comes up over and over again is our husbands and their work environment--the people that surround their husbands at work really do have an impact on them.  Each and every one of us pray for godly men to enter into our husband's lives to encourage them, care for them, counsel them, and pray with them, but the reality is that in many work environments that just doesn't happen.  One of the biggest blessings this year has been having one of my husband's closest friends on staff with him at the church.  Charles & Kyle started a dude's group together at Fuller 5 years ago and they met weekly the whole time they were in seminary.  As a wife I am so so grateful that they can continue this friendship here at First Pres.  I am so grateful that when Charles has a tough day or situation at work he has someone there who knows him so well and has permission to speak into his life.  They pray together weekly, and encourage one another a lot.  I love that I still get to see Kyle regularly as I adore his energy, encouragement, and enthusiasm about people, God and life.  We are both so thankful for this dear friend continuing this journey with us!

L: Laughter
One thing I have learned this year is that absolutely nothing is better than the sound of baby laughter.  Everytime I hear Aidan start laughing I drop what I'm doing to join him, it is irresistible.  And what cracks me up is that Aidan will start laughing hysterically at the most random things, sometimes I can't even figure out what's so funny.  But I love that being around him has caused me to pause a lot this year and look for the humor in things....anything is funny to him....fingers, toes, belly buttons, shoe laces, kisses, you name it, he will giggle at it. 

M: Mom
SO many people helped me out this year with our little dude who was pretty fussy and exhausting for the first many months of life.  But my mom went above and beyond.  She arrived two days before he was born, was with us through all 24 hours of labor, stayed in the hospital with me when I was in so much pain and just wanted a personal nurse there, and then stayed on an air mattress for 3 weeks taking care of me and the little one, did a ridiculous amount of cooking, cleaning, night shift rocking of the baby, came twice in the month of May when Aidan's fussing and reflux was at its worst, and always answers the phone when I call home...which is almost every day.  I am so so grateful for her, for how she has cared for both me and Aidan this year.  He just gravitates to her, he adores his grandma and I love seeing that.

N: Nostalgia
One of the things I love most about my parents, and am most grateful for, is that they gave me a wonderful childhood--full of books, games, rhymes, music, and imagination.  I had forgotten about so many of these things until this year.  I have had a blast remembering old rhymes and songs to sing for Aidan and pulling out children's books that I adored growing up (The Runaway Bunny, Jamberry, The Mitten, The Very Hungry Caterpillar).  I found the Raffi station on Pandora and have been listening to songs I haven't heard in 20 years and have had a great time making Aidan laugh while jumping around the apartment to them.  After years of searching I finally found a copy of a CD my cousins and I used to listen to at my grandparent's house all the time and was able to get a copy of it despite it being out of circulation.  I feel like these next several years are going to give me so many more chances to relive parts of my childhood as I expose Aidan to these same things, and I am so grateful for those memories and opportunities!

O: Officiating
Growing up Megan and I didn't have any brothers, but we did have almost-brothers in our two cousins, Brian & Christopher.  The 4 of us were stair-stepped in age and lived only 2 hours apart.  Looking back I realize that our parents made a huge effort to help us see each other a LOT throughout the year, as we drove back and forth for each kid's birthday, and usually Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  When Christopher asked me to officiate his wedding this past fall I was so so honored and excited.  He and Jennifer are a wonderful couple, so talented and so in love.  I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to stand with them on their special day and serve as their pastor as they began their lives together!

P: Preschooler's Moms (MOPS)
This one is stretching it a bit to get the letters to work, but I already had an "M"!  So I am grateful for my MOPS group (which stands for Mothers of Preschoolers if you didn't know!).  It can be tough going to a new place and making friends, but I found it to be even more difficult once I had a baby.   Trying to focus on a conversation when your kids are around, trying to come out of the sleep deprived haze to think of intelligent sounding questions to ask to spark a conversation (and then having the ability to listen to the answer!), and remembering people's names when you are beyond exhausted make the whole friendship making process really tough.  Enter MOPS.  I went when Aidan was only 3 weeks old, and I haven't ever missed a meeting.  I love MOPS.  I love that I can show up weepy and emotional from having only slept 4 hours the night before and everyone else in that room knows exactly what that feels like.  I love that I could say from the very beginning 'I don't know what I'm doing, I need help' and no one thought I was silly or an unfit mother.  I love that there were so many other hands there to hold my baby so I could at least eat my plate of breakfast while it was hot.  (And I love the food we get at MOPS!)  Now that Aidan is older I love that there is an incredible team of childcare folks who truly love him and care for him so I can enjoy time with other moms.  I love that there is a roomful of women who are in the same stage of life as me, and that they are so understanding and welcoming.  MOPS has been a huge gift to me this year, and I am honored to be helping coordinate it now, hoping to create that safe, welcoming space for other new moms to stagger into, not having slept, begging for coffee. (and I love that we have yummy coffee and fancy creamers!  Such a treat!)

Q: Quiet evenings alone

Being married to a youth director means that at least two, often three, nights a week I am home alone until 9 or 10.  Now that Aidan is sleeping so much better and routinely goes to bed right at 7 and stays asleep for several hours (instead of 30-45 minutes like he was doing!) I have started really enjoying these quiet evenings alone.  Of course I love hanging out with my husband, but after a busy day of constantly having a little one need so much from me, I'm thankful for a few nights a week to pop in a DVD of the Gilmore Girls and work on my own projects.  I've enjoyed putting together our 2011 Shutterfly family album, I designed our Christmas cards, I can get some MOPS stuff done, I'm now working on details for Aidan's birthday party and writing Christmas cards.  I love doing these things, and I love having quiet space a few nights a week that I can count on to be on my own.

R: Retreat (Gayle's Perks)
When we arrived in Northridge from Seattle I spent quite awhile trying to find a coffee shop that wasn't Starbucks that could be my new haunt.  It wasn't until several months later that I found Gayle's Perks at the recommendation of some friends.  It is a perfect little oasis, my retreat center if you will when I have a few hours to myself.  They make the most incredibly amazing crepes and paninis as well as delicious lattes, they have comfy chairs, a library where you can swap books, an outdoor patio with fountains, and free internet.  I love escaping here when Charles is with Aidan, I am so grateful for this little oasis in the midst of the valley! 

S: Silleruds
  I am so so thankful for Jim & Chris Sillerud.  Jim is our senior pastor and Chris is the music director at the church but they are so much more than that. They have reached out to both of us so many times, encouraging us, mentoring us, inviting us for meals and even Easter dinner with their family, they have watched Aidan for us countless times, and they've become friends we love dearly.  I don't even know how many times I showed up in Chris' office at the church with a fussing baby who wouldn't sleep and she'd take him from me and walk him around and calm him down and remind me that this would get easier.  I don't know that I would have survived the first few months with Aidan if I hadn't had Chris around to help me manage!  She was the first one who said "I am coming over tomorrow morning, you are going to leave the house and Aidan and I will be just fine.  But you need a break!"  Such a gift to a new and insecure mom!

T: Todd & Sarah
That same day back in May that I woke up feeling so lonely (the day that launched the book club) I reached out in another way.   I sent a text to another mom from our MOPS group who I'd had a chance to hang out with a couple times asking if she and her husband would be interested in starting a super low key small group with Charles and I.  Instead of formal bible study, we were looking for a few people to intentionally share life with--people who would get to know and love our son and who would let us know and love their kids.  People we could share meals with and call with random questions or if we needed something.  Sarah told me my text was an answer to prayer, that she and Todd had been looking for the same thing, for friends here in the neighborhood to connect with.  So many times in the past 6 months I have been so so grateful for Todd & Sarah and their sweet family.  We have shared meals together, gone on a double date, and have signed our babies up for the same baby gym class.  They are an incredible couple, so wise and hospitable, and we are so so grateful for their friendship and presence in our lives. 

U: Understanding Husband
No husband is ever fully prepared for that little bundle of joy to arrive--poor guys.  They have no idea what's in store for them when it comes to the emotional mess their wives may turn into from hormones, breast feeding and sleep deprivation.  My poor husband had to deal with the wreck I felt like I was and a baby who didn't sleep.  And he was amazing.  So many times he just held me as I cried, he tried to give me as many breaks as he could, and he came home with ice cream a lot.  (Which proved to be way more important than flowers this year!  Nursing moms need calories!!)  Watching him learn and grow as a dad as Aidan has learned to interact more and play more has been so fun.  The other day I came home to find every pillow I owned in the living room as they had been "playing fort" which melted my heart :)  Yes, I am SO grateful for how patient he has been with me this year!

V: Vaughn
I have always been grateful for my dad's brother, he is an incredible uncle and he and my dad have always set an example of how to love your siblings so well.  They have the best time together and are great friends in life.  This year though I have a new appreciation for him!  Vaughn is a pediatrician, a father of 4, and a grandpa of two precious little girls, and has a lot of life experience!  He was invaluable to me in the first many months of parenthood, and I'm sure he will continue to be so!  He made sure I knew he did not mind me calling with questions at all, and was so gracious with him time sitting on the phone with me encouraging me, helping me troubleshoot Aidan's feeding and crying issues, and talking through a lot of sleep issues.  The greatest gift Vaughn gave me this year, though, is the freedom to realize there is no one right way to be a mom.  There is no one right way to feed a baby or help him sleep or help him grow.  Vaughn made sure I knew the two non-negotiables were that Aidan was safe and Aidan knew he was loved unconditionally.  Beyond that I was allowed to relax, let him develop, let him grow, do what worked for our family even if it was counter to something I'd read in a book.  He helped me get rid of the word "should" when it came to my baby.  I was so fixated on what Aidan should be doing that I was failing to appreciate and celebrate what he was doing.  I am so so grateful for his counsel and his encouragement this year, it was exactly what I needed! (And I realized I don't have any pictures of him and I from recent years, but this is one of my favorites of the brothers!)

W: Walking Distance
One of the selling points of our apartment was that it is walking distance to absolutely anything we need, including the church.  We only have one car, so for Charles to be able to walk to and from work is huge, but not only that I can walk to a myriad of stores in about 5 minutes.  Almost every afternoon I put Aidan in my front carrier and walk him up to the grocery store for something, or over to the church to say hi to folks, or up to Starbucks or frozen yogurt or the craft store.  Usually we just browse or look around. Having so much within a couple blocks of our house has truly spoiled us from a convenience factor, but there is another benefit to walking that I hadn't anticipated.  You actually get to know some of your neighbors.  We see the same elderly man walking his two fluffy white dogs each day.  We have gotten to chat with the family who speaks only French, but who loves cooing over Aidan.  We have gotten to know some of the clerks at the grocery store, they immediately recognize Aidan in his carrier and everyone stops to ask how he's doing.  It's amazing how much more I feel like I have been able to meet people in the community just by being on foot and passing by them day after day until finally one of us starts a conversation.  I am grateful for the ability and the opportunity to walk here!

X: eXperience
Okay, I'm cheating on this one, it doesn't start with an "X" but I'm stumped.  And this is something I really am grateful for!  I was so so grateful for the wisdom and experience other mom friends of mine shared with me this year.  I have a few friends I'd call when I needed to figure something out with Aidan (usually in the areas of breast feeding and sleeping!) and these friends of mine were so wonderful at helping me process through different options and ideas without ever pushing one particular way of parenting onto me.  Especially when it came to finally sleep training our little guy, I was so so thankful for the stories of what other families had tried and how that did or did not work for them.  We are so inundated with information these days that sometimes I just needed the experience of other moms to help me sort through it all!

Y: Youth Elders
In a Presbyterian church the ruling body is made up of elders, who have just as much of an equal vote on matters as a pastor does.  Each elder has an area of ministry they help oversee, and they help make decisions, advocate for, and offer guidance to these areas of ministry.  We've been part of churches before where the elder(s) overseeing the youth ministry have not exactly done a stellar job for a variety of reasons.  But this year, in our first year here at First Pres, I am super grateful for our 2 youth elders--Mark and Maria.  They are the ones that help my husband make decisions, they advocate for him and have his back if there is any conflict or difficult choices to make, they have encouraged him over and over again this year, and genuinely care both about him and his personal life as well as about the youth and the ministry to them.  We are so blessed to have these two folks involved in our lives this year, and I for one am SO grateful for the ways they have lifted Charles up and encouraged him when things have been tough. 

Z: Zierman, Addie
I've posted a few links to Addie's blog on facebook throughout the year, and I hope some of you have checked her out.  Addie is the author of the blog How to Talk Evangelical and she is one of my very favorite writers out there.  She knows how to craft words into sentences that are just beautiful.  Oh to be able to write like her!  I think that the reason I love her blog so much though is because I resonate with what she writes so so often.  She was raised in an evangelical culture much like I was in my high school experience, and used the same language I used all the time in high school & college.  She describes the purpose behind her blog as: "We used to call it “Christianese.” We thought it was so clever to say it that way, like it was its own secret language – these words which seemed clear to us but mystified others. Salvation. Justification. Atonement.
We lounged on the old couches in the youth group room, penned our testimonies, mused about our calling, recounted a God thing that happened at school the other day in the face of some serious spiritual warfare. We were planting seeds, having our devos, getting into the Word.
If Christianese was a language, evangelical was our own special dialect. A cadence. A rhythm. A set of colloquialisms and catch phrases and clichés. I spent so much of my life conversing fluently in the evangelical language that when I met a “foreigner,” I struggled to find language."  Addie unpacks this language in thought-provoking and beautiful ways that often give me chills.  I am so grateful for writers like her to inspire me, to make me think and who help give me words to reflect upon my own life experience.