Authenticity

I recently had coffee with someone who I don't know very well. We are acquaintances, and have interacted in groups a tiny bit over the past year, but have only had one other one-on-one conversation. In our first 1 on 1 time together, she shared a LOT of personal things with me, things I was honored to hear, and happy to listen to and be her sounding board, but I was a bit surprised, at how much she told me. I'm a pastor and a chaplain, I am used to total strangers sharing a lot with me, this is an incredible honor, and doesn't phase me a bit. This person never really asked how I was, and we kind of went on from there. She wanted to have coffee again recently, so I agreed. We had coffee and she immediately started talking as soon as we sat down, again going pretty deep fairly quickly. I mostly listen, adding some comments every now and then, and eventually she says, "So Sarah, how are you?"

I struggle responding to this question at times (depending on who it is doing the asking). On one hand, I appreciate the question, especially since I never really received it the first time we hung out and I think she wants a friendship, which has to be reciprocal. However, on the other hand I was left unsure of what to say. How am I? Well, for the most part, I'm doing really well. I told her so. However not knowing this person very well at all, I wasn't comfortable sharing anything below the surfacy stuff with her. I think she wanted me to share a lot more than I did, but I can't run around sharing intimately with everyone I meet. I have my inner circle who gets to hear beyond the surface regularly, and I'm careful with who I allow access to those deeper places. Meaning, a second coffee date isn't quite the time to begin asking me how my marriage is, what God is really teaching me lately, or offering unsolicited advice. But at the same time I want to be authentic, I value authenticity a lot, and I'm pondering now whether or not true authenticity means disclosing copious amounts of personal information or if it's possible to be authentic and careful, or guarded, about what I choose to share. Anyone else struggle with this? How do you decide who to share what information with? God calls us to community but at the same time I think we are allowed to be discerning with what we share. Thoughts from others who encounter this dynamic with people? Those are my musings for your Tuesday!