Wanting Words

I have a ridiculous number of unfinished blog posts right now saved in blogger. I get a couple sentences into a post, and then for various reasons just stop writing. A lot of times I don't feel like I have words to express what I'm thinking. A lot of times I start writing about something I am thinking about, and then quit because I worry people won't like what I have to say. This blog has been used in the past to share the things I'm wrestling with or experiencing, but in the past few months my ENTIRE life has been consumed by church. I don't think I was prepared for how consuming life in ministry would be. And I don't think that's necessarily the way it is supposed to be, but for this season, that's our reality. I want to share what I'm thinking, what I'm wrestling with, and what our experience has been, but it's been pretty overwhelming, and I'm struggling to find the words. It's been a hard season. We're tired. We're feeling a bit of burn out (and it's been 3 months...I now fully understand why the average youth minister lasts 18 months in a church before resigning). At the same time, we're loving getting to know people, and have been SO welcomed by so many--and we truly have been delighting in chances to share meals with a variety of people in our congregation. We're also trying to figure out how to strengthen our marriage during this season where we often do not have one evening in the week free to even share a meal together. I have SO many things bumbling around in my head, and I'm still looking for the words to express them. A great friend of mine encouraged me the other day to continue being authentic on here, continue sharing what's been going on and what I'm thinking, and that's always been my desire--and thanks to her encouragement, that's what I plan on doing. So stay tuned, I promise, I have thoughts, and they're slowly being transformed into intelligible sentences, and when they are, I'll continue sharing.