I have reflected a lot lately on Luke 2:19, where it tells us that Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. So many little moments of my days strike me, and I think I am beginning to understand this verse a bit better. Throughout the next year I'll post various moments that strike me that I want to always treasure as my little one grows.
You are nursing your way to sleep for your second nap of the day--cuddled up with me in mine and Daddy's bed. You're nuzzled in my arms and your eyes have just begun to close when the clanging and beeping of a garbage truck outside our window startles your eyes wide open. You look up at me in alarm and start to frantically look around, attempting to see what it is that startled you out of your peaceful reverie. I smile reassuringly and whisper that you are safe, there is nothing to fear. You visibly relax lay your head back in the crook of my
arm and snuggle in to drift off to sleep safe and cozy against me, all of a sudden unconcerned about the noisy truck outside.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Oh Pinterest...How I love Thee
I'll admit it. I've become a bit addicted to Pinterest this week. If you're still out of the loop and haven't figured out what Pinterest is, it's essentially an online bookmarking site where you can "pin" things you find from around the web onto your own bulletin boards to make finding them again nice and simple. It's as if you were bookmarking a favorite page in your internet browser, only you're doing it online and other people can see what you're bookmarking--and you can see their pins and "repin" them for yourself. It's amazing. The ideas out there blow my mind sometimes. I've been pinning a lot of things this week, and then decided it was high time I start actually trying them! So here's the round up of my pinterest attempts this past week:
As a side dish to the pasta the other night I made these asparagus. Simple steam them, then drizzle balsamic vinegar over them and top with feta and sundried tomatoes (they also used walnuts but I didn't have any). So simple and a great way to jazz up some asparagus (although I love them plan too!)
Beef stroganoff is one of those meals I remember liking as a kid but always assumed it was a tough one to make. It's not. And it's delicious. This recipe is to make it in the crock pot which worked fantastically.
Our car needed a garbage solution, and lo and behold Pinterest had just the solution! I bought a tupperware cereal container and put a trash bag in it. The lid keeps the trash inside even if it tips over and it's the perfect size!
Apartment carpet is just crappy. It traps dirt like no other (and we even have a no shoes policy!) Needless to say our entry way and traffic area always looks dingy and dirty and it drives me crazy. I went searching for how to clean your carpet (without renting a steam cleaner) and found this idea that worked like a charm. Mix one part ammonia (yes it stinks to high heaven, open doors and windows if you try this!) and one part HOT water in a spray bottle. Spray liberally on the spot you wish to clean, cover with a white rag or towel and iron it. In seconds the towel will turn dirt colored under the iron and the spot will be gone. It was amazing!
I have always been a good water drinker, but now that it's getting hotter and I am nursing the babe just as much as ever I am finding myself more thirsty than I should be at the end of each day--which means I'm not drinking enough throughout the day. I loved this idea. I didn't use 2 water bottles, just my 1 32 oz nalgene but I wrote the times of the day at various marks on the bottle so I am spreading my water drinking out. It's been super easy to consume 3 large nalgenes a day these past few days this way--almost 100 ounces of water, and I feel MUCH better!
I kept pinning all these recipes but never made any of them. Until this week--I've made 4 this week and all of them were delicious! This was dinner the other night and my plan was to have leftovers. We didn't. It was that good. A super easy pasta dish with sliced chicken, sundried tomatoes, regular tomatoes and a pesto cream sauce. Sauteed zucchini or other veggies would be awesome to add to this. You can find the recipe here. As a side dish to the pasta the other night I made these asparagus. Simple steam them, then drizzle balsamic vinegar over them and top with feta and sundried tomatoes (they also used walnuts but I didn't have any). So simple and a great way to jazz up some asparagus (although I love them plan too!)
Beef stroganoff is one of those meals I remember liking as a kid but always assumed it was a tough one to make. It's not. And it's delicious. This recipe is to make it in the crock pot which worked fantastically.
And dessert. We can't forget about dessert. Tomorrow night my parents, grandparents and sister will be here, and we're having chicken enchiladas. I wanted to make a fun dessert, and this looked delicious. No Bake Nutella Butter Pie. It was so simple and I'll admit I already cut a piece (I had to make sure it wasn't terrible before feeding it to company!) The crust is pureed nutter butter cookies and the filling is cream cheese, sugar, whipping cream, and nutella (I didn't say it was healthy). There's no baking, just letting it chill to set and then you can top with melted nutella and cream mixed together to create a ganache. My husband is in love with this pie after only a few bites already.

So! Those are my favorite pins of the week. Anyone else tried any that are a must to pass on??
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Five Months!!
Baby Boy!! You are 5 months old! (well you will be in 3 days, but 20 of your family members are coming this week for your baptism this weekend--so something tells me Mommy won't be writing this later on, so it's being posted early!) For some reason this sounds so old to your Mommy--all of a sudden you are much more of a baby and less of an infant. It is amazing to me how much you grow and learn and change in just 4 short weeks--from blog post to blog post a LOT of life happens in your little world. Here are the highlights of your 5th month on earth...You started eating solid foods the week you turned 4 months old. Some people would say that is a little early to start solids, but your doctor thought it might help with your reflux a little, so we decided to try and see what you thought. You LOVE chewing on anything so we figured you wouldn't mind having something else to put in your mouth--and we were right! Most of the time you like your food a lot, sometimes you're too tired to really eat much by dinner time, but most of the time you are a big fan. We started you on plain baby oatmeal, but after a couple days you weren't too thrilled with that. Maybe it was a bit boring? So we added some mashed banana and that was a hit! You've now tried mashed banana, pears, and apples--both alone and mixed into your oatmeal, and all of them have been big hits. Mommy makes your baby food herself--it's super easy to do and I like knowing exactly what you're getting into your little body. So each week I peel and puree a batch of fruit for you and that seems to work pretty well for us, and it's probably cheaper than buying jars!
Speaking of your reflux -- you are finally sleeping better! I think your medicine is finally starting to work (we had to try a different one than you were originally on)--you seem much more comfortable at night, which makes Mommy and Daddy so happy! You still wake up several times, and I will say that your very favorite place to sleep is still snuggled in next to Mommy, but I don't mind--as I watch you get bigger and bigger I realize that my days of getting to sleep snuggled up next to your little body aren't going to last forever, so I am treasuring them while I can! Otherwise you are sleeping in your rock and play sleeper (a new bed we borrowed for you that helps with your reflux) either in your own room (during the day) or next to Mommy's side of the bed (at night). You still love your white noise, and you have finally started falling asleep in the car easily! Now if I can get you on the freeway and I know you're tired you'll be asleep within a few minutes--that used to never happen!
You found your feet this month too! You started noticing them last month but this month they have become your new best friend. The first thing you do when I unzip you from your woombie swaddle pod after each nap is grab for your toes--like you're trying to confirm they are still there. It cracks me up. You also have gotten them into your mouth a few times which always amazes me. You've gotten so much better using your hands too--you can hold toys much longer and almost always get them to your mouth. If no toy is in your hand you can bet that your fingers are in your mouth--they are your favorite companion and I never get tired of hearing your slurping away!
You experienced your first trip into a big pool this month too! On Memorial Day we went to a BBQ with some of the college students from church and you tried the pool. It was nice and warm in the water, and you seemed to enjoy yourself. Both Mommy and Daddy got to swim with you that evening and you wiggled and wiggled just as much as ever. Speaking of wiggling--I have a new nickname for you. I've decided "Happy Feet" is a good name for you because like the movie about the penguin who can't help but dance, you cannot stop moving your feet. Ever. It is a crack up to me--I just wonder what you're going to be like when you're a little older, I think you're going to be a busy little dude--always on the move!
You and your daddy have had so much fun together lately! Daddy has been able to spend a bit more time playing with you, and you've been rewarding him with smiles, which I know he loves. Now on evenings when he's home he is in charge of bath time and it's so fun for me to be listening to you splashing around in there and hearing daddy talk to you and play with you. On weekend mornings you sit with him and he reads to you from the Psalms or from your Lulla Bible which you were given for a baby shower gift. He likes to take you over to the church office to show you off and let you flirt with all the ladies there :) Your daddy is so good with you and has started having so much fun playing with you!
I didn't think it was possible to love you any more than I did Mr. Aidan, but your Mommy is pretty darn head over heels in love with you. You amaze me every day and have brought so much joy to our lives. Happy 5 months little Bug!!Friday, June 8, 2012
7 Quick Takes Friday!
Happy Friday everyone! June is here, school is ending for many, the weather is heating up (at least around here!) and people are transitioning to summer schedules....as much as I don't love the heat it's kind of a fun change in the pace of life! Here's what we have been up to these days.
**1**
Summer produce. Oh my word, I can't think of anything I love more. This past week I think I've eaten an entire watermelon by myself, four artichokes, and two boxes of raspberries. Plus a couple of pluots my friend Jenn sent me--they were my new discovery of last summer and I couldn't get enough of them while I was pregnant. I am waiting for the heirloom tomatoes and basil to arrive and create some amazing pasta dishes or bruschetta :)
**2**
On Thursday our family starts arriving for Aidan's baptism weekend! I think it's going to be a bit of a crazy long weekend but we're excited to see everyone! My parents, grandparents, and sister's family arrive Thursday and Charles' family arrives Friday--it should be quite the crew! Between now and then I'm trying to get as much data entry done for my new job as possible since something tells me I'm not going to get anything done while company is here! So when my munchkin is sleeping I'm frantically entering stuff into a computer database, but it'll be worth it to have a few days to play with fun nieces and nephews. When my mom was here a week or so ago we figured out the menu and grocery lists for the weekend so that's all taken care of, now I just need to clean my house up and grocery shop for everything (which will be Wednesday's project--hopefully when Daddy can watch the little one so I don't have to drag him through Costco!)
**3**
It's kind of crazy, after our family leaves Aidan and I are really only home for 2 more weeks and then the two of us are headed to Minnesota for most of the month of July. Charles has two different camps to attend in July--a house boating trip with middle schoolers and a week at summer camp with the high school students, and those two weeks are separated by a week off in the middle. Rather than fly back and forth a bunch or sit here for a week with no husband we decided it would just be easier to send me to the midwest for 3 weeks. We'll miss seeing Charles when he's home for that week in between but he'll get a lot of work and planning for the fall done that week I hope! Aidan and I are excited to go hang out relaxing in Minneapolis--both my parents will be working so I'll still be home with him alone many days, but it will be nice to have them around in the evenings and on the weekend to help me out a bit and to have some company. Plus the hot dry valley heat of Northridge is miserable to me, so getting out of town for a bit this summer will be great!
**4**
Our little babe is FINALLY starting to sleep a little better! HALLELUJAH!! It's been a slow process, and some days/nights are way better than others, but we are finally starting to get some 3-4 hour stretches out of him (usually one or two a night) which is amazing. His new reflux med is working, not perfectly, but so much better than the first one we tried. Sometimes he sleeps in his little bed and sometimes it's in bed with us (something I swore I'd never let my kid do but after talking to MANY friends realized that the most important thing right now is to get everyone sleep, it doesn't matter where that sleep is taking place). It's been fun to see a bit of a natural schedule emerge out of him lately too. Around 6:15 each evening he hits his wall and is a fussy mess, so we start bedtime and I nurse him and usually by 7 he's down in his little bed. He'll sleep almost two hours and then eat again and then go down easily again for the next stretch. He's been waking up in the morning at 7 AM like clock work--so he stays in sleep mode for 12 hours which is awesome. By 8:15 each morning he's back down for his first little nap of the day and then we go from there--sometimes taking better naps than others, but at least we're seeing improvement with nighttime sleep which is a HUGE blessing!
**5**
Last Friday I posted about our new Beco Baby Carrier that lets me wear Aidan on my front and still use my hands. We have used it a TON this week and oh wow it has made a huge difference! He hates his car seat, and since that's the part of the stroller he still has to sit in, well shopping and errands are tough. He just sits in there and sweats and that makes him cranky and he loves to see what is going on which he can't do from his car seat. Being able to carry him through stores and around church etc so he can see what's happening has been a huge help, and this carrier is SO comfortable and easy to use. Highly recommend it if you're in the market for one! His daddy even wore him around a church event last weekend for quite a bit!
**6**
I've rediscovered The West Wing this past week. I need to watch something while I enter data for this new job, and so I threw on a dvd the other day. I had forgotten how much I adore these characters and the amazing writing of this show--I'm looking to start at season 1 this summer and work my way through all 7 of them! (I've still never seen anything beyond season 3!)
**7**
I've spent this week re-reading The Poisonwood Bible for our book club and am just over half way through. I love this book. So so much. It makes me laugh, it makes me want to scream in frustration at the ignorance of one of the main characters, it is full of incredible imagery that makes one feel like they are walking through the Congo, and the characters are so fascinating to me. I can't wait to discuss it with friends soon!
Labels:
7 Quick Takes Friday,
Aidan,
Books,
Food,
Life Updates
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Being Present
This post was written awhile ago for a friend's blog-I'm just reposting it here so I have it in my archives :)
I wish I could say I was a quick learner. I wish I experienced an "ah ha!" moment once and then always carried that little lesson around in my pocket, never having to relearn it. Alas, I am not. I am more of a painstakingly slow learner, often having to allow God to remind me, nudge me, and even sometimes smack me with the same life lessons over and over again.
On January 14 of this year, I became a mom for the first time. My beautiful baby boy was born, and three days later I found myself at home with this little person who needed my attention all the time. Rewind to about two weeks prior his birth and you would find me constantly on the move. I'm a do-er. Every week I made my to-do list of errands, household tasks, projects I wanted to complete and people I wanted to connect with, and more often than not by the end of the week my list was accomplished--every item neatly crossed out with a highlighter. I've spent 23 of my 30 years as a full time student, I know how to multitask and I know how to get things done. If I'm honest, I've found a lot of pride in how productive I've been in a given week. Friends used to laugh because when we would have a 3 week break from classes I would not just travel to one place--I would usually pack my vacations full of multiple cities or states so I could visit as many friends and family as possible. Yes, aside from the one month in grad school where I had mono, I have always enjoyed getting things done.
Fast forward back to this winter and the arrival of my little one, and all of a sudden life looked drastically different, more so than ever before. All of a sudden my most important "task" of the day was sitting in a rocking chair for hours on end feeding my baby. All of a sudden I found myself laying on a couch doing "nothing" but holding my child who couldn't nap anywhere but in someone's arms. The dishes sat there, untouched. The laundry was done when my parents came to visit to help out. Vacuuming or cleaning the bathrooms? Ha! Running lots of errands and connecting with many people? No longer an option with my son who hated his car seat and left me feeling foggy brained and incapable of connecting with others in a meaningful way. Those to-do lists I had prided myself on were now non-existent. And if I'm honest, so many days would come to an end and I would feel so unproductive, so lazy, and so frustrated. Who was I now if I wasn't Ms. Productivity? I knew in my head what I was doing for my baby was infinitely more important than doing the dishes, but for a slightly-OCD person like myself, sometimes all I wanted to do was clean my kitchen!
It's been four months now, since the arrival of our little one, and I think I am finally beginning to learn my lesson. The other day I laid down with Aidan in my bed to see if I could settle him down for his afternoon nap. He snuggled up next to me, nursed for a few minutes, and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. "Alright!" I thought. "I can finally go get something done!" As I lay there thinking about what I was going to go sneak off to accomplish, it hit me. The only thing that was important to me that day was being with my son. My kitchen was relatively clean--not perfect, but good enough. My husband and I have plenty of clothes, I didn't need to do laundry just because the basket was full. All of a sudden grilled cheese sandwiches sounded just fine for dinner, no need to go prep anything fancier. As I watched him rest, his little lips still making that sweet sucking motion in his sleep, I realized there was no where else on earth I wanted to be. I was being completely "unproductive" by my former standards, but when I think about what really mattered in that moment, I was doing the most important thing I could have chosen to do--I stayed snuggled up next to his little body and held him as he slept in the safety and comfort of Mommy's arms.
God commands us to "be still, and know that I am God," and I think part of what God had in mind here is that He wants us to surrender our to do lists to Him. He has spent the past 4 months teaching me over and over again a new way to define "productivity." He calls us to just be, to let go of all the things we frantically try to accomplish to somehow prove our worth here on earth. He whispers a reminder "Sarah, you're so much more than your list of accomplishments, that is not what gives you your value or worth. Be still, let me be God, you worry about being fully present for the people I've placed in your life."
I wish I could say I was a quick learner. I wish I experienced an "ah ha!" moment once and then always carried that little lesson around in my pocket, never having to relearn it. Alas, I am not. I am more of a painstakingly slow learner, often having to allow God to remind me, nudge me, and even sometimes smack me with the same life lessons over and over again.
On January 14 of this year, I became a mom for the first time. My beautiful baby boy was born, and three days later I found myself at home with this little person who needed my attention all the time. Rewind to about two weeks prior his birth and you would find me constantly on the move. I'm a do-er. Every week I made my to-do list of errands, household tasks, projects I wanted to complete and people I wanted to connect with, and more often than not by the end of the week my list was accomplished--every item neatly crossed out with a highlighter. I've spent 23 of my 30 years as a full time student, I know how to multitask and I know how to get things done. If I'm honest, I've found a lot of pride in how productive I've been in a given week. Friends used to laugh because when we would have a 3 week break from classes I would not just travel to one place--I would usually pack my vacations full of multiple cities or states so I could visit as many friends and family as possible. Yes, aside from the one month in grad school where I had mono, I have always enjoyed getting things done.
Fast forward back to this winter and the arrival of my little one, and all of a sudden life looked drastically different, more so than ever before. All of a sudden my most important "task" of the day was sitting in a rocking chair for hours on end feeding my baby. All of a sudden I found myself laying on a couch doing "nothing" but holding my child who couldn't nap anywhere but in someone's arms. The dishes sat there, untouched. The laundry was done when my parents came to visit to help out. Vacuuming or cleaning the bathrooms? Ha! Running lots of errands and connecting with many people? No longer an option with my son who hated his car seat and left me feeling foggy brained and incapable of connecting with others in a meaningful way. Those to-do lists I had prided myself on were now non-existent. And if I'm honest, so many days would come to an end and I would feel so unproductive, so lazy, and so frustrated. Who was I now if I wasn't Ms. Productivity? I knew in my head what I was doing for my baby was infinitely more important than doing the dishes, but for a slightly-OCD person like myself, sometimes all I wanted to do was clean my kitchen!
It's been four months now, since the arrival of our little one, and I think I am finally beginning to learn my lesson. The other day I laid down with Aidan in my bed to see if I could settle him down for his afternoon nap. He snuggled up next to me, nursed for a few minutes, and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. "Alright!" I thought. "I can finally go get something done!" As I lay there thinking about what I was going to go sneak off to accomplish, it hit me. The only thing that was important to me that day was being with my son. My kitchen was relatively clean--not perfect, but good enough. My husband and I have plenty of clothes, I didn't need to do laundry just because the basket was full. All of a sudden grilled cheese sandwiches sounded just fine for dinner, no need to go prep anything fancier. As I watched him rest, his little lips still making that sweet sucking motion in his sleep, I realized there was no where else on earth I wanted to be. I was being completely "unproductive" by my former standards, but when I think about what really mattered in that moment, I was doing the most important thing I could have chosen to do--I stayed snuggled up next to his little body and held him as he slept in the safety and comfort of Mommy's arms.
God commands us to "be still, and know that I am God," and I think part of what God had in mind here is that He wants us to surrender our to do lists to Him. He has spent the past 4 months teaching me over and over again a new way to define "productivity." He calls us to just be, to let go of all the things we frantically try to accomplish to somehow prove our worth here on earth. He whispers a reminder "Sarah, you're so much more than your list of accomplishments, that is not what gives you your value or worth. Be still, let me be God, you worry about being fully present for the people I've placed in your life."
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Loneliness and Facebook-Land
We've all been there. We've all felt that deep aching pit in our stomach when we realize it's Friday night and everyone has plans but us. We have all been left alone in our college dorm room realizing everyone else already went to dinner with someone else and now we need to go alone. We have all experienced the feeling that everyone else is getting married or has a date or is involved with a great group of friends and we're the odd one out or we're the one at the wedding without a date. I find it interesting that sometimes we can find ourselves feeling the most lonely when we're surrounded by people. We can be at a party and all of a sudden realize we don't seem to fit--everyone else looks like they belong but for some reason you don't, and the loneliness creeps in--maybe slowly at first, but then settles like a heavy black cloak over our shoulders for the rest of the evening.
This has been a lonely season for me. A few things collided in life at once--I moved back into an area where I have several friends, but those friends created new friends and found new community while I was gone so the place my husband and I filled in their lives has been filled by others. Which is okay, and probably how life should be, seasons of friendships ebb and flow, but in many ways I feel like I'm kind of starting from scratch in the friendship department. I have met some incredible young women who have been a HUGE blessing and lifesaver as I've ventured into the world of parenthood, but as anyone who has moved to a new place will attest, it takes time to feel known. I'll be honest, people told me before I had a baby that staying home all day with a newborn is tough--especially for extroverted people, but I never really thought that much about it. Until I started living it. It's tough being home alone for sometimes 12+ hours with no one to talk to but a little person who just fusses back at you. Or I go out and try to be social but the baby gets fussy or is distracting and I never get to feel fully present with the friends I am with--my attention is divided if Aidan is around. I suppose that's how it should be, but for someone who used to have regularly coffee dates with people where we could chat intimately for hours without being distracted, it's been a tough adjustment. I hate that I have turned into a terrible listener and a half-present friend. It adds to the loneliness, to be with people but not feel fully there, for me makes me feel more alone. (Maybe I'm alone in that??)
But, this isn't a pity party :) I have been reflecting lately on a new element of our culture that I think often contributes to loneliness for a lot of people -- that being the invention of all these social networking sites like Facebook. There's this phenomenon of "checking in" wherever you are and then "tagging" the friends you are with. At first glance, this isn't a terrible concept, it's kind of fun seeing who is out where. However, more than once, I've seen friend's posts about being at parties or events or movies or restaurants with other friends of mine, and I've found myself thinking "why wasn't I invited to join them?" "Do they assume I can't or won't find a baby sitter to get out sometimes? Or do they genuinely not want me around?" Or I'll see a post made by a friend about the fun they had with other specific people and while I am glad for them, I find myself feeling left out. I'm not sure the creators of this new element of Facebook intended for this to contribute to people's sense of loneliness or isolation, but inadvertently I think it has.
Friends of ours told us that they were contemplating leaving their church because people in leadership regularly had dinner parties and gatherings and hung out together--and always posted photos from their events, and always "checked in" and "tagged" who they were with--and it led this couple to constantly feel hurt and left out...they are leaders in the church too, why were they never invited? Did they not make the "A" list? It was bad enough that they literally thought about worshiping elsewhere. Hearing their story and knowing how I've felt this past season has made me wonder how we can have fun and use these fun features and networking sites, but still be sensitive to other's feelings. I am sure I have caused others to feel left out from something I have posted, and I think this might be something we all might need to be more discerning about. Yes it was a fun event or double date or movie or outing with friends, but I wonder how much of that actually needs to be made public? I'm not sure I know the solution, Facebook is a great tool, I just know how I've felt lately when reading friend's posts about where they went, who they went with, and how much fun they had while I was never invited. It stings. Maybe this is the adolescent part of me creeping back out, but that voice is still there--still saying "people are too busy to be your friend, but look at all the fun they are having without you."
I've heard several teens comment on this--how it makes them feel when their friends are tagged at events they never knew about. Facebook is here to stay, and I'm not sure what the solution is--but I'm curious what others think. Have you ever felt left out looking at photos or seeing status updates about events you weren't invited to? Do you think it's not a big deal and we don't need to worry what others think? Other stay at home parents out there have told me (and I can FULLY attest!) that sometimes Facebook makes us actually feel more connected to the world--we can't leave our houses because of nap time but we can at least communicate with others throughout the day. But do some of you also feel resentment because you're home with a sleeping baby (or a fussy baby who refuses to sleep!?) while others are out having fun without you? I'm just curious how folks feel, it's definitely not a problem that is solvable by a blog post! And with that, I'm going to go celebrate the fact that my son IS sleeping and eat ice cream with my friends from The West Wing keep me company on this evening home alone :)
This has been a lonely season for me. A few things collided in life at once--I moved back into an area where I have several friends, but those friends created new friends and found new community while I was gone so the place my husband and I filled in their lives has been filled by others. Which is okay, and probably how life should be, seasons of friendships ebb and flow, but in many ways I feel like I'm kind of starting from scratch in the friendship department. I have met some incredible young women who have been a HUGE blessing and lifesaver as I've ventured into the world of parenthood, but as anyone who has moved to a new place will attest, it takes time to feel known. I'll be honest, people told me before I had a baby that staying home all day with a newborn is tough--especially for extroverted people, but I never really thought that much about it. Until I started living it. It's tough being home alone for sometimes 12+ hours with no one to talk to but a little person who just fusses back at you. Or I go out and try to be social but the baby gets fussy or is distracting and I never get to feel fully present with the friends I am with--my attention is divided if Aidan is around. I suppose that's how it should be, but for someone who used to have regularly coffee dates with people where we could chat intimately for hours without being distracted, it's been a tough adjustment. I hate that I have turned into a terrible listener and a half-present friend. It adds to the loneliness, to be with people but not feel fully there, for me makes me feel more alone. (Maybe I'm alone in that??)
But, this isn't a pity party :) I have been reflecting lately on a new element of our culture that I think often contributes to loneliness for a lot of people -- that being the invention of all these social networking sites like Facebook. There's this phenomenon of "checking in" wherever you are and then "tagging" the friends you are with. At first glance, this isn't a terrible concept, it's kind of fun seeing who is out where. However, more than once, I've seen friend's posts about being at parties or events or movies or restaurants with other friends of mine, and I've found myself thinking "why wasn't I invited to join them?" "Do they assume I can't or won't find a baby sitter to get out sometimes? Or do they genuinely not want me around?" Or I'll see a post made by a friend about the fun they had with other specific people and while I am glad for them, I find myself feeling left out. I'm not sure the creators of this new element of Facebook intended for this to contribute to people's sense of loneliness or isolation, but inadvertently I think it has.
Friends of ours told us that they were contemplating leaving their church because people in leadership regularly had dinner parties and gatherings and hung out together--and always posted photos from their events, and always "checked in" and "tagged" who they were with--and it led this couple to constantly feel hurt and left out...they are leaders in the church too, why were they never invited? Did they not make the "A" list? It was bad enough that they literally thought about worshiping elsewhere. Hearing their story and knowing how I've felt this past season has made me wonder how we can have fun and use these fun features and networking sites, but still be sensitive to other's feelings. I am sure I have caused others to feel left out from something I have posted, and I think this might be something we all might need to be more discerning about. Yes it was a fun event or double date or movie or outing with friends, but I wonder how much of that actually needs to be made public? I'm not sure I know the solution, Facebook is a great tool, I just know how I've felt lately when reading friend's posts about where they went, who they went with, and how much fun they had while I was never invited. It stings. Maybe this is the adolescent part of me creeping back out, but that voice is still there--still saying "people are too busy to be your friend, but look at all the fun they are having without you."
I've heard several teens comment on this--how it makes them feel when their friends are tagged at events they never knew about. Facebook is here to stay, and I'm not sure what the solution is--but I'm curious what others think. Have you ever felt left out looking at photos or seeing status updates about events you weren't invited to? Do you think it's not a big deal and we don't need to worry what others think? Other stay at home parents out there have told me (and I can FULLY attest!) that sometimes Facebook makes us actually feel more connected to the world--we can't leave our houses because of nap time but we can at least communicate with others throughout the day. But do some of you also feel resentment because you're home with a sleeping baby (or a fussy baby who refuses to sleep!?) while others are out having fun without you? I'm just curious how folks feel, it's definitely not a problem that is solvable by a blog post! And with that, I'm going to go celebrate the fact that my son IS sleeping and eat ice cream with my friends from The West Wing keep me company on this evening home alone :)
Friday, June 1, 2012
7 Quick Takes!
It's been a long time since I've sat down on a Friday morning to do a 7 Quick Takes post from our past week, but I have a few minutes this morning and thought I'd try :) Here's the latest in the Kennedy family!
I have a new favorite baby product that should be added to my previous post. I didn't really have a good front carrier to carry the little one in--he HAS to be facing forward when being carried, he refuses to face backwards, and he's over 15 pounds now which gets heavy after awhile! So a hands free carrier was in order. But they aren't cheap and there are so many different brands I didn't know where to start. I found a boutique here that sells a bunch and let me try them on and try Aidan in them, and my parents volunteered to buy one for me when I found the one I wanted. SO, I am SUPER grateful for my new Beco Baby Carrier which is SO comfy and ridiculously easy to use. You can wear baby on your front, on your back, and even on your hip--and they can face forward or face into you depending on their age and preference. Love this new addition to our house! Thanks mom and dad!!
I've gotten back into menu planning and cooking this month which has felt so good. I made this super fun menu board for my kitchen (thank you pinterest for the idea!) and every week I fill in with a dry erase marker what we're having to eat that week and where the recipe is located so I can easily find it. It's been awesome to look up and see what I'm doing on a given day and we've been enjoying several yummy dishes because of the extra planning! Today I have beef stroganoff in the crock pot and a delicious black bean salad with lime dressing in the fridge for lunch :)
**1**
We ventured out last Sunday on our first major outing--we took Aidan up to Forest Home for a day of all church camp. It was a weekend long camp, which my husband attended, but the little one and I only went for the day on Sunday. He did really well! Slept all the way there and back which is a gift because I was imagining 2 hours of a screaming child who hates his car seat. Next year we are super excited to go for the whole weekend!
**2**
I have a new favorite baby product that should be added to my previous post. I didn't really have a good front carrier to carry the little one in--he HAS to be facing forward when being carried, he refuses to face backwards, and he's over 15 pounds now which gets heavy after awhile! So a hands free carrier was in order. But they aren't cheap and there are so many different brands I didn't know where to start. I found a boutique here that sells a bunch and let me try them on and try Aidan in them, and my parents volunteered to buy one for me when I found the one I wanted. SO, I am SUPER grateful for my new Beco Baby Carrier which is SO comfy and ridiculously easy to use. You can wear baby on your front, on your back, and even on your hip--and they can face forward or face into you depending on their age and preference. Love this new addition to our house! Thanks mom and dad!!
**3**
I also have a new favorite book about babies and sleep. Thanks to the amazing Christie Kiley I ordered the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and have LOVED it. It's FULL of ideas on how to get baby to sleep better and create a personalized sleeping plan for your family without letting them cry and scream themselves to sleep. Yes, it's more time intensive and parent intensive, it's a lot of work training them to sleep in a really gentle way, but as I've gotten to know our little dude, he's not going to respond well to the cry it out method. Especially with his reflux issues and how that's caused him pain while he sleeps over the past few months I just can't bring myself to let his crib be a place of tears and discomfort. So I was searching for something new and Christie gave me this suggestion that they used with their son. I'm letting Aidan's new reflux meds that he started this week have a full week to see if they are working before really addressing any sleep training (if he's not comfortable physically it doesn't matter what I do to train him, he won't be sleeping!) but over this next week I'm going to be working on creating our family's sleep training plan for him--and I love that her suggestions are so individualized for each family. So, if you need a good super easy to read and very practical book about sleep this is a great one!!
**4**
I've gotten back into menu planning and cooking this month which has felt so good. I made this super fun menu board for my kitchen (thank you pinterest for the idea!) and every week I fill in with a dry erase marker what we're having to eat that week and where the recipe is located so I can easily find it. It's been awesome to look up and see what I'm doing on a given day and we've been enjoying several yummy dishes because of the extra planning! Today I have beef stroganoff in the crock pot and a delicious black bean salad with lime dressing in the fridge for lunch :)
**5**
My amazing mom came back out to visit again last week even though she was just here two weeks ago, and for that I am SUPER grateful. May has been a tough month, feeling like Aidan's reflux was never going to improve, his sleep was bad, and i felt like I was constantly being fussed at. My husband is super helpful but works long hours so I felt a little isolated and alone and I think my mom could tell (maybe me calling her crying a lot cued her in??!) So she volunteered to come back for another 4 days and I was so grateful for the help. Everyone will be back in 2 weeks from today for Aidan's baptism weekend! Yay for family visiting!
**6**
Our book club is up and running!! Hooray! We had a ton of interest and even a bunch of men wanted to join us so we decided to make it co-ed. Our first selection for June is the Poisonwood Bible which I read 2 years ago and loved. I was surprised only 1 other person in the group had read it, so everyone was more than happy to select it for our first book. So I just started re-reading it and am reminded again how much I love the way Barbara Kingsolver paints pictures with words. Starting the club means I needed to revamp my list of 31 books i wanted to read before I turn 31 in September, but that's okay. And realistically I am not going to finish my list this year. I have a LOT of books left to read before September 23 and I'm just not sure how possible this is going to be!
**7**
Tonight is date night, and our plans? (this was my husband's idea) We're walking to get ice cream after dinner here at home and then both spending the evening reading The Poisonwood Bible (yup he's joining our book club too!) I am kind of excited :) Have a great weekend everyone!
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