A Sunday Morning Confession

"Mommy where are you? Mommy what are you doing? Mommy can you play with me?!" The demands never end.  There's a baby crying to be fed, a husband who can't find his car keys, a three year old who NEVER. STOPS. TALKING. EVER.  I look around at the mess I sit in the midst of, the kitchen floor that has seen much better days, the collection of toys and books that somehow never make it back onto their shelves, the three baskets of laundry--clean, but unfolded, sitting in the living room, and I sigh.  The lack of hours in a day, the to do list that gets longer, not shorter, the sleep deprivation and diapers and meals to prepare--it seems to pile up around me faster than I can do anything about it.  And then there is the inadequacy I feel as I stare down a very stubborn preschooler--battling over nap times and whether he is actually going to sit in his time out or his inability to STOP THROWING THINGS!  I realize I am not trained.  I don't have the answers to 100 million questions a day.  I have no idea how to respond when I tell him "no" and he says "but I like to!"  And I sit with my inadequacy and realize I actually AM inadequate.  Not in a self-pitying way, but in an "I am desperate for help, I don't know how to do this" kind of way.

So I do the only thing I can in this moment on this Sunday morning before we head off to the 11:00 service.  I pop another episode of Thomas onto the TV downstairs.  I crank the baby swing up and let Asher drift off to sleep.  I pour another cup of coffee, shove the crumbs off the table and onto the floor (really, what's a few more on an already crunchy floor?), move the Cheerios box over and I open my bible that has gathered way too much dust in the last couple months.  I don't have a clue where I'm turning to or what I'm looking for, I just know I need help and Jesus promises to be near when we call on him.  I confess my fears and frustrations.  I tell him I'm not sure how to do this, I'm not sure I can do this.  And the whisper comes "you can't.  Not on your own.  Will you stop relying on your own strength and knowledge?  You don't have what it takes.  But I do."  Isn't that the truth?  No matter what our calling or task in life, don't we always think we can do it on our own strength?  When will I learn to turn to Him FIRST instead of to bail me out after I've dug too deep?  He actually is enough, and he actually does know what he's doing.  Jesus calls us to trust Him, to trust that whatever we face in life He is bigger and greater than our troubles.  Whether we run a church, oversee a Fortune 500 company, or change diapers and tie little shoes all day we don't have to go it alone.  May we invite him into our week this week, into the tiny and mundane tasks that are on our to do list, into the meals we prepare and the conversations we have and the time outs we administer.  Jesus is calling us to walk with Him, are we willing to make the space to listen?

The Voices of Facebook

When we were growing up it seemed as if everyone gave up one of two things for Lent: chocolate or soda (or other forms of caffeine, but most middle school students didn't drink coffee in the mid-90s--the frappaccino hadn't been invented yet or something!). Nowadays one of the most common Lenten "sacrifice" among my friends is Facebook (or other social networking platform--I am not a twitter user but I would imagine that is in the same camp).  I have given up Facebook in the past, and some years have found that tougher than others. I do miss out on event invites, viral videos and the occasional big news post. It really has become our culture's primary form of communication in many ways, and for many reasons I really love it. However I always am surprised by how many things about Facebook I don't actually miss each year, and each year something different seems to strike me. One year I noticed I was so much more content with life. I wasn't constantly comparing myself to other's photos or events. I was content to simply live my life in the present with the people around me and wasn't worrying about what anyone else was doing.  There was a lot of freedom in that! Every year I am always struck and embarrassed by how much free time I have without it--especially since we can access it from our phones no matter where we are. I have read 2.5 novels while nursing and rocking Asher since Lent began where I hadn't read even one in the 8 weeks since he was born. For a reader and wanna-be writer like me that is embarrassing! What could I possibly be reading on Facebook that is more enriching than getting lost in a beautiful story??

This year something new is striking me. I am not missing the crowd of voices and opinions we are inundated by every time we log in--giving us constant feedback and commentary on our lives.  Facebook is an incredible tool to connect people and get ideas. I love asking "what new restaurant should we try tonight?" and getting a ton of suggestions. I love asking if anyone has an item I could borrow or if people know the best plumber in the area. I have received amazing ideas and suggestions from my fellow facebookers! However one thing I have noticed a lot this past year is the tendency of some folks to immediately want to offer their advice and opinions with every post that gets put up--even when I haven't asked for anyone's thoughts or feedback. I totally get that if I post a question like "hey I am starting potty training, any advice?" then I am going to get all kinds of opinions, ideas, and even dissension from folks. But opinions and advice, and even criticism especially in the realm of parenting, are given even if no question is asked.  

And I absolutely get it, I do! Once you have survived/mastered/figured something out about parenting it is so easy to want to share that with others--even when they haven't asked for your opinions. I am so guilty of the same thing--freely offering advice of what I think someone should do instead of waiting to be asked. Something that I think is different about being a young mom today than even 15 years ago is that we are absolutely inundated with parenting opinions, suggestions and debates because of the rise of social media. I literally cannot sign into Facebook without a blog post popping up having something to do with motherhood or discipline or school choices or potty or sleep training--it's completely overwhelming to be honest. Whose voice do we listen to? Which "expert" advice should I be following? And that is all before people comment on my individual photos or status updates with advice or opinions!  It is absolutely no wonder to me that my friends and I talk all the time about being constantly confused, doubting all of our choices, living with the knowledge that we are always wrong, no matter what we do because someone in the blogging world or someone on Facebook has felt the need to point out our errors or how their way was better.  

I wonder what would happen if everyone who used social media asked themselves a couple questions before posting or responding to someone.  First, "is what I am about to say encouraging to this person?"  We live in a world FULL of negative commentary, and I wonder how it would change things on line if we intentionally tried to be encouraging of one another instead of critical?  Maybe mom's old saying needs to be brought back to light: "If you can't say something nice, do you need to say anything at all?"  Second, and this one is something that I know for a fact other young moms would appreciate as well because we have talked about it--if we haven't specifically asked for parenting advice or ideas, maybe consider not sharing your opinions right away.  Maybe a conversation about our parenting choices is better had in person, or at the very least in a private message, not necessarily on our public Facebook pages.  I think most of us have been hurt in some way, shape or form in our online conversations, and I just wonder if maybe we were all a bit more intentional about being encouraging, disciplining ourselves to withhold criticism, especially when it comes to something as personal as parenting, and choosing to be a positive voice in the online world, what kind of difference could that make?  It's a challenge I want to accept myself, and pray that maybe others might join me to bring a little bit of light to other's lives (or status updates!).

Just Keep Showing Up

While visiting my parent's church this morning I had taken up my usual post these days--standing in the narthex bouncing a baby while listening to the service on the speakers in the ceiling.  As I stood gently shushing and bouncing my little guy, attempting to convince him to close his eyes, I heard two things that caught my attention.  The first was the unmistakable  hiccuping and shaky breaths of a toddler trying to stop crying.  The second was an angry sounding dad.  I turned to look and saw a little boy of about two being carried down the hallway in his dad's arms while his dad gruffly said "you just blew it in church big time.  You'll be lucky if I ever let you back in church again!"  I have no idea what the little guy did, what drastic offense was committed to warrant such a response, but my heart caught in my throat as I heard these words.  Everything in me wanted to remind this dad that the one place his little guy SHOULD be able to mess up is in church!  Imagine if that were our philosophy.  "You can come in here to worship, but ONLY if you haven't messed up."  I would think there would be an awful lot of empty pews on Sunday mornings.  There is grace.  There is so much grace at the altar of our Lord.  And oh I wanted to tell that little boy it was okay.  He could have another chance.  Jesus wants to see him there next week.  And the next.

Now I understand the desire to train our children to behave properly in worship.  I agree, it's important, and my husband and I are doing our best (and failing fairly miserably most weeks) at helping our 3 year old make it even through the children's message without causing a disruption. I was the kind of kid that quietly sat through a full length live musical at the age of 2.  Sitting through church each week wasn't that difficult for the most part. But my little one...well he's another story.  To be honest, there are some weeks, if I'm solo with the two boys, that it's just easier to take him straight to his Sunday School room rather than deal with a preschooler's antics in a relatively quiet sanctuary.  But week after week we keep trying, knowing that someday he will be able to sit until the children's sermon.  And then someday he'll be able to sit until the sermon.  And then through the sermon.  Because I want my boys to learn proper behavior, I want them to learn to discipline themselves and quiet their bodies, hearts, and minds to enter into worship.  That day will come, I have no doubt.  More than that though, more than I want my child to sit quietly, I want him to know without a shadow of a doubt that when he feels like he has messed up big time in life, the church is the one place he can always go.  I want him to know our Heavenly Father is waiting with open arms for him to show up week after week, wiggles and all, to clap along with his extended family of faith, to loudly shout amen! a half second after everyone else does because that's the only word of the prayer he knows.  I think sometimes adults need to see little ones in worship to remind them of a few things in life.  Worship doesn't always have to be such a solemn and serious occasion.  Laughter, joy, dancing, and loud cries are all found throughout scripture as worship is mentioned.  God has a sense of humor!  He gave us the gift of laughter and I fear that in many communities this gift is often put on the back burner in favor of more "serious" behavior.  I also think we need little ones who misbehave in worship because we need to see that in God's eyes, our own behavior isn't any different.  We all mess up.  We all speak when we should be silent at times.  We all say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Jesus promises us we won't taste the kingdom of heaven until we adopt the posture of a child--curious, open hearted, exuberant, honest, and trusting.  Those things belong in worship, and I fear many of us have set these things aside as we have aged in effort to be proper and well-behaved.

Last Sunday our little guy bolted down the center aisle in the middle of the service and daddy had to chase him for a full lap around the sanctuary as a song was sung--Aidan laughing gleefully the whole time.  After the service I was so touched when several folks came up to me and said "that was awesome, we need more spontaneous moments like that, that was the best thing! You're doing a good job mom, just keep coming, keep trying."  I hope that little boy from this morning hears that message from somewhere, that he learns Jesus is always saying to us, no matter how old we are, "keep coming my child, keep trying, you're doing great, just keep showing up, wiggles and all."

Gratitude

One of my new year's plans was to post a photo a day onto Facebook of things I'm thankful for--and it really was such a fun challenge to get me thinking.  But the reality is that I've spent FAR too much time on Facebook since having Asher--mindlessly scrolling at all hours of the day as I nurse him, and not really reading or doing anything else I could be doing instead.  So I knew when Lent rolled around I needed to say goodbye to Facebook for awhile.  It was time to re-set some limits and boundaries with social networking.  Instead of posting daily photos there, I'm going to try keeping a list, and add some photos to it each week of things I've been grateful for in the past 7 days.  This week, I'm grateful for:

The fact that my freezer is fully stocked.  We have had 2 weeks now with no one feeding us, and every single day I am grateful that I just have to pull something out, add a vegetable to the side and maybe some bread.  Best thing I ever did to prepare for this baby!

Husbands who will say "I'll figure out dinner for us honey" and then proceed to grocery shop and cook teriyaki burgers while I am out with friends.  

Grandparents who like to snuggle

The way Asher dreams in his sleep, making puppy noises, smiling and almost laughing to himself.  

A conversation with Aidan:
"Mommy can I watch TV while you make dinner?"
"Sure, you can watch a bit."
"Can I snuggle you?"
"Well I need to make dinner but I can snuggle you for a few minutes."
"I need to snuggle you for 10 minutes mommy because I really love snuggling you."

Celebrating Luke & Sienna's 3rd and 4th birthdays with our community of friends.

New recipes that are a hit, a table full of color from bountiful produce.

Asher's cheeks.

Friends who come over in the evening when your husband is working to help put your kids to bed because you haven't quite mastered the art of bedtime with two.

A 3 year old who wants so badly to learn the names of all your friends.  And everyone we meet in the grocery store.

A husband who does the most amazing job with bath time, bed time and prayers.  

Baby thigh rolls--so in awe that my body is feeding and sustaining his body in an incredible miraculous way to create these adorable little rolls on his body.  

The way my lips fit perfectly into the space between my boy's two eyes, on the bridges of their noses.

Rosy cheeks and runny noses from an afternoon of sledding.

Two months old

First laughs

The chance to sit at a table and eat as much as I want until I am full while others jump up and attend to the needs of my kiddos.  

A few hours a day to sit and read while I snuggle a baby by the fireplace.

A family who likes to play.

Living Life Around a Table

It's not a secret if you are my Facebook friend or have read any of my writing on here that I adore feeding people, having people over for dinner, sharing conversation around a table.  Before we had kiddos that had to be put to bed, I loved nothing more than having another couple or two over, pouring another glass of wine, letting the dirty dishes just sit until late into the evening as we shared stories, laughed, and lived life together.  I think food brings people together in a powerful way, and I think a table is a beautiful symbol of community.  Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist is one of my all time favorite books, and it's about this very thing--how amazing it is when people connect with one another over food and around a table.  Now that we have little kids, dinner parties look a bit different!  There is a flurry of unloading sippy cups, finding extra booster chairs, cutting entrees into bite sized pieces and then wrangling everyone to the table to fold hands and pray together.  We eat quickly, with the dads usually having to get up from the table first to chase little ones into the play room in order to referee preschool squabbles.  They chat as they build race tracks and set sharing timers.  My friends and I finish eating and begin the kitchen clean up, nursing babies and packing up the sippy cups before it gets too close to bedtime.  Leisurely conversation isn't really part of our evenings these days, it's chaos but it's still connection, and it's so so important.

One of my goals for Lent is to make sure we make these connections once a week--with different families, but still inviting people to our table.  The food won't be fancy--most likely it will be one of the meals pulled from my freezer with a salad added, but I'm learning that's okay.  Life doesn't always have to be fancy and not every season in life is made for wine glasses and burning candles on a table.

Last night I had the chance to sit around a table until way too late into the evening having my soul filled.  The leadership team from our MOPS group a year ago got pretty close, and back in November we randomly got together one evening at one of our homes.  We each brought an appetizer, we wore sweats, nothing was fancy or really even homemade (thank you Trader Joes!).  We sat around a dining room table for 3 hours simply sharing life.  We laughed until our stomachs hurt, we chatted about raising babies, husbands, books we've loved and even how to be prepared for the next earthquake.  It fed us.  That evening someone said "we need to do this again.  How about once a quarter?"  So last night it was my kitchen table we sat around until almost 11.  People brought trader joes appetizers, I baked slice and bake cookies, we wore yoga pants and sweat shirts, and I spent a good chunk of the evening bouncing my 8 week old as we chatted, and when I climbed into bed that night my heart was so full.  It's not very often moms get to have uninterrupted conversations, but when the 6 of us gather around a table we do.

Jesus invited us to his table, he told us to break bread and share it with one another and remember him as we do.  He promised that where two or more are gathered in his name, he is among them.  We broke pita last night and dipped it into lentils and olive tappenade.  We poured sparkling water and tap water, we passed plates of cookies and bowls of fruit salad.  And he was there, right in our midst, as we laughed, asked questions, shared stories and headed home with both our bellies and our hearts feeling filled.

Freezer Cooking Frenzy

I remember a lot about my first 3 months with Aidan as a newborn.  I remember he cried a lot, I remember he was up every hour all night long for MONTHS (literally a 2 hour stretch was a LONG stretch of sleep), and with him wanting to nurse around the clock I remember being SO hungry.  All. The.  Time.  But of course with a really fussy baby, cooking was practically impossible.  We survived, thankfully my mom came to visit a lot and every time she did she made a couple more things to restock my freezer, but we were in a tiny apartment and didn't have much freezer space. One of my goals when we moved to our town house was to get a chest freezer to be able to cook in bigger batches, shop at Costco etc, and we've loved it.  Since we do have this extra storage space, and I know how hard those first few months can be with a newborn, my goal is to completely stock this freezer with meals that are ready to thaw and pop in either the oven or crock pot before baby brother makes his appearance the week after Christmas.  One of my best friends did a TON of freezer cooking before her little guy was born a year ago and she told me it was by far the best thing she did to prepare for baby's arrival.  We'll have family in town for awhile, and while they are here I'll have them do the cooking (no way am I sharing my precious stock of freezer meals when there are able-bodied grandparents around who are capable of getting something together for dinner!!), and we'll have friends from church bring some meals, but eventually February will roll around and it'll be up to me to get dinner ready on a relatively regular basis--so my goal is to have that not involve much cooking for awhile!

I've done a few smaller-scale freezer cooking projects in the past, and I've learned a few things in the process.  One, make sure you write an inventory somewhere (mine is on a google doc, but a piece of paper on the fridge works great too!) with what exactly is in the freezer.  It's way too easy for things to get buried, and for food to go to waste because I simply forget it's in there.  So on a google doc I have how many of each item I have in the freezer and it's cooking/reheating instructions written right there so I don't have to go looking up recipes on line or try to remember which recipe for lasagna I froze etc.  When we eat a dish, I'll change the quantity we have left on my google doc.  Also, label EVERYTHING!  I have had a few times where I've frozen things in Tupperware thinking "oh it's see through, I'll totally remember what it is!" and that's resulted in some surprises when I thaw what I think is a bean soup and is actually re-fried black beans for burritos.  Once frozen, many items do look alike!

This is a compilation of the recipes I'm freezing this fall, some I have tried myself in the past and know for a fact they freeze well and re-heat while maintaining their flavor.  Others have been personally tried by close friends of mine (AKA, people whose cooking and eating tastes are similar to mine that I trust!) and they have vouched for the freeze-ability of these dishes.  I know it looks like a lot, but that's why I'm starting in October--my goal is to simply pick two meals a week that I was going to make anyway, and double or triple the recipes to add extra batches to the freezer.  So far for the past 3 weeks that's been totally do-able--I've found that if I'm making a lasagna, it's really easy to just make 3--using the same dishes, bowls, ingredients etc allows for batch cooking without really extra mess or time.  So, without further ado, here's what is already in our freezer (or meals that will be soon!)

One of the meals it hadn't occurred to me to freeze is breakfast foods.  I'm not a huge fan of breakfast in general, but while pregnant, and I remember while nursing, I am SO hungry in the morning.  A friend of mine who is nursing a baby right now had the same problem and tried these freezer-ready breakfast burritos and raved about them, so I made a batch.  SO delicious and absolutely worth the time it took to make a big batch!  They reheat without getting mushy, and can either be eaten one-handed while bouncing a baby or with a knife and fork and a layer of salsa over the top.   One batch made 18-24 burritos, and I've been eating these all month--I'll make another couple batches before baby to have a stock pile for bleary eyed mornings. 

Another breakfast food I've already made and have frozen are these cranberry lemon scones.  These actually aren't so much for me to eat post-baby, but they are for those mornings when it's my turn to bring something for MOPS breakfast or a staff meeting snack.  A couple weeks ago I was in charge of the "sweet treat" for MOPS and made a huge batch of these scones (although the stores aren't selling cranberries yet, so I made raspberry-lemon scones instead).  I baked about 16 of them for MOPS that morning, and the rest I formed into scones on a cookie sheet and froze them overnight.  In the morning I placed them in ziplocks and next time it's my turn to bring something all I have to do is bake the night before.  

A meal I have made a few times in the past for the freezer is this apple cider pulled pork.  It received rave reviews from my father in law last Thanksgiving weekend when I served it!  Find a pork shoulder on sale and cook this up.  Enjoy some that evening and then freeze the leftovers in smaller portions (one thing we've realized about pulled pork is it will go a long ways, since you don't use that much on each sandwich, so one batch will last awhile!).  When you want to serve it from the freezer, let it thaw overnight in your fridge and then just reheat.

One of my very very favorite freezer recipes and comfort food recipes are Annette's Enchiladas from Shauna Niequist's book Bread and Wine.  I have made these so many times, have frozen them, served them to numerous family members and taken them to several new mamas for the perfect comfort-food meal.  I will be making a few batches of them for my freezer between now and December because they are amazing. 

Last November I did a bunch of freezer cooking so that I'd have meals on hand, ready to serve over the busy holiday season when family came into town or people dropped by.  This Skillet Lasagna was delicious, froze great, and was a big hit when re-heated and served to some seminary friends of ours who dropped in for dinner while on their way home for Thanksgiving weekend.  It was awesome to be able to have company for dinner the night before Thanksgiving without having to do any cooking! (Unless you count throwing a salad together or heating up french bread to be cooking!)  You could use any kind of meat and any kind of ravioli that sounded good to your family in this one. 

This past year I decided the new thing I was going to learn how to do was make my own chicken broth and soup from a whole chicken.  Dealing with large pieces of meat is something I don't do, but I read enough on Pinterest that this could be done successfully in a crock pot and was super simple, so about a year ago I gave it a shot.  I'm hooked.   My crock pot gets a big workout for about 24 straight hours, but that's what I love about these recipes and this process--I can add stuff to it, walk away and amazing things happen while I'm gone! It's kind of a multi-step process, but here's what I tend to do.  First, buy a roaster chicken.  Day 1 is all about cooking the chicken, which I do in my crock pot instead of in the oven so it really doesn't need to be baby sat.  This is the recipe/method I use, all you have to do is rub the spice mixture over the outside of the bird, and stick it in the crock pot as instructed.  About 6 hours later it will be falling off the bone (don't throw those bones away!!).  That's it.  So easy.  I personally don't love just eating chicken, so my plan for the meat is to shred it and use it in the above enchiladas that I'll make later this week.  But of course you could just eat the chicken.  Or shred it and put it in freezer bags to have on hand down the line when you do want to throw together a quick meal that involves cooked/shredded chicken.  Or save it for the next day if you're going to turn your broth into soup. After all the meat is off the bones, I throw them back in my crock pot with these other ingredients to make the chicken broth overnight.  In the morning, I place a fine mesh strainer over a big pot, and strain my broth.  I toss all the stuff that lands in the strainer basket, keeping all the liquid.  That's it.  You have chicken broth!  You can either portion it out in smaller batches or you can add it back to your slow cooker and toss in fresh veggies and other ingredients for chicken noodle soup that will simmer all day, and will be a great dinner that evening.  You can find any recipe on line for chicken noodle soup, the ingredients are all pretty similar.  So far I have two Tupperware of soup in my freezer, and another roast chicken in the crock pot as I write this which will turn into broth later tonight.  We found last winter that when any one in our house was sick, this was the most comforting thing to consume so I plan on having a few mason jars of just frozen broth on hand to heat up if sore throats strike. 

Lasagna is always a classic freezer meal, but I rarely make them because in my experience they've been really labor intensive.  A friend of mine brought us a lasagna made with ground turkey while Charles was recovering and it was so delicious.  We all raved about it.  She shared her recipe and I made several, so I have 3 in my freezer as of now.  The secret to the simplicity?  Jarred sauce, and well seasoned ground turkey.  I think I also really liked this recipe because there isn't any ricotta (which I hate) or other creamy cheeses.  But you could always add some if you like them!  I don't have a link, so here's the recipe:  brown 1 pound of ground turkey with approx 2 tsp of garlic powder, about a tablespoon of onion powder, and some dashes of salt and pepper (I used way more pepper than salt but I try to avoid adding extra salt to things). Use any jar of marinara you like but the Classico brand "Traditional" sauce was SO SO good. Layer lasagna noodles (I used the ones you don't have to boil first, but they were still a tiny bit crunchy when I baked it, so next time I would boil them for a few minutes) with ground turkey, a layer of sauce, and a sprinkle of any kind of cheese you like. Repeat 2-3 more times. My 8x8 foil pans only let me do two layers so I had enough ingredients to make an extra dish. Cover and freeze.  To serve, thaw overnight and follow baking directions on your noodle box.  

Macaroni & Cheese.  My son's favorite food.  I made 4 pans of this recipe, and I'm not sure it has the best flavor, so I would add more seasoning next time, but it's good enough!  The best mac n cheese recipe I've found is this one with fresh rosemary and french fried onions on top, and I'm betting it would freeze great, so next time I might go that route instead!  Simply freeze in foil pans, then when you want to serve it thaw overnight and bake according to recipe directions.  

Chili.  There is nothing better on a winter evening when you're hungry than a crock pot full of chili with cornbread in the oven.  This kid-friendly turkey chili recipe is a huge hit with my kiddo and the kids of many many friends--they especially like all the toppings that are suggested!  It's not spicy at all so if you like heat and aren't cooking for little ones, you can always add more chili powder or some crushed red pepper flakes.  I'm planning on making at least two crock pots of this over the next couple months and then freezing them in smaller portions, enough for our family for a meal or two.  

The Pioneer Woman is one of my go-to recipe bloggers to follow, I don't know that I've ever made anything by her that I didn't like.  Her sour cream noodle bake is a huge hit in our house--kind of a cross between lasagna and homemade hamburger helper (that's what my husband calls it anyways)--it's a great comforting meal for a cool evening, and a great one to freeze.  It's so simple, I made 6 pans of this last night (two for other new moms who had babies this month and 4 for us) in about an hour.  I promise your kids will like this one!  I made it with extra lean ground turkey instead of beef, but the ground beef is delicious as well.  

One of my favorite snacks is actually a bean burrito, so before baby arrives I'm planning on making a big batch of these bean and cheese burritos to have on hand for grabbing when mid-afternoon hunger strikes.  

Two other breakfast foods I'm planning on making a ton of are these waffles (my kiddo loves waffles with peanut butter for his breakfast, so having them ready made and waiting for the toaster will be a huge help) and these Omelet Breakfast Bites--both of which have been tested by a friend who said her only regret was not making more of them before her kiddo arrived.

What We've Been Into and Up To

Baby Baby Baby!  People told me that things with the second pregnancy and baby would be different in so many ways, but I'm not entirely sure I believed them!  When I was pregnant with Aidan I counted down the days and weeks meticulously.  I always knew exactly what was going on in his development, I couldn't wait for the day when we would find out whether he was a boy or a girl, I wanted him named as soon as possible so we could start calling him by name and I faithfully read What to Expect When You're Expecting from cover to cover.  Yeah...being pregnant with a toddler around is a drastically different experience!  Someone asked me the other night how far along I was and I actually had to check my iphone app to remember if I was 15 or 16 weeks.  We have an ultra sound scheduled for August 4th to find out how baby is growing and what his or her gender is, but I have so many other things going on between now and then (including preaching on the 3rd!) that it hasn't even really crossed my mind much.  When I was expecting Aidan I posted a blog post every week chronicling our journey waiting for him...this time around this is the first I've written on here since before becoming pregnant.  Poor kiddo!  I am excited to think about a name for this little one, but we've decided to not share that with people until baby arrives this time around, especially since the gender will be public and his or her birthday won't even be a surprise since we've decided with the help of my doctor to do a scheduled c-section this time around rather than risk another rather traumatizing labor experience again.  For now, baby is being called Baby Thomas Olaf (because Aidan wants to name baby after thomas the train and Olaf the snowman) and my nieces are calling it a her and have named her Elsa Anna.  Thank you, Frozen.  I think we'll keep those names until this munchkin makes his or her appearance either Friday December 26th or Monday the 29th!

When we were pregnant with Aidan in 2011, the entire year was one of stress, transitions and major life changes.  During the 9 months of his pregnancy we lost a job (5 months after buying a house and starting said job), had our only car totaled (while it was parked on the side of the road--we were on vacation at the time), went car shopping, underwent a nation-wide job search knowing the possibility was we could move anywhere, moved back to LA, Charles started a new job at a new church where we worked to get to know a whole new community of people, we sold our house long distance, changed doctors at 30 weeks, moved in with a family we hadn't ever met, apartment hunted, moved again, and finally got settled in December for Aidan's arrival in January.  Absolutely nothing about that year was easy, so our goal this time around was to simply stay put!  To enjoy this year, cherish the time we have with Aidan, spend our free time taking him on toddler adventures rather than you know, packing and moving 3 times in 9 months.  The good news, is that 2011 showed us we really can handle anything.  When we announced our first pregnancy, it was the same day Charles lost his job, and we were all of a sudden no longer a part of a church community to celebrate with.  This time around we are surrounded by people who love us, who adore Aidan, who were so so excited to hear our news.  We have incredible friends, several of whom have either just had babies or who are also expecting, lots and lots of friends to share baby clothes, play dates, meals and support with.  We are so so grateful and while our families are far away this is where we want to be--right in the midst of this rich community of people whom we love.   What a difference 3 years has made!

Working Mama: This time around I'm also "officially" working--as in, for a real paycheck!  Most people have been really excited for this job opportunity for me, but a few have let me know they think I should be at home full time, and not employed outside.  I totally respect their opinion, but here's what I have found in the past 2 months of my new job.  I am home WAY more with Aidan and have hired baby sitters WAY less in the past 2 months that I've been employed than in the previous 2 years of intense volunteering.  Saying yes to this job means that I have stepped away from all the volunteer commitments I had previously, commitments I loved, but that took me away from home usually one night a week for meetings or events.  Now, I have 1 evening meeting a month instead of about one per week.  I work a full day on Fridays which is Charles' new day off, so he gets a full day home with Aidan each week to go take him to his baby gym class, out to pizza for lunch, share nap time with him and have play time with.  In my view that is so so important.  I work a half day Tuesday and we have an incredible young woman come play with Aidan for 4-5 hours, with me arriving home before nap time.  Aidan adores his "Sammie days!" and she loves him.  I love seeing him so excited when she rings the door bell.  A sitter used to put him to bed about once a week, I think the only time we've had a sitter do bedtime lately was a week ago when I had to run into urgent care at the last minute and we needed someone to stay with Aidan.  I have WAY more free time now, instead of trying to cram all kinds of volunteer things into his nap periods or frantically doing emails after he goes to bed.  I love having a set work schedule and then being able to say "it's Thursday, I'm not at work today, I can wait until my office hours tomorrow to respond to this since it's not an emergency."  I think it's actually given us a better life balance (I know it's helped our evening commitments and schedule!) as a family having me develop a set work schedule and say no to other committees, meetings, volunteer opportunities etc in this season.  I am still thrilled to be involved in MOPS, but instead of coordinating this year I get to participate, and serve as an adviser of sorts as the staff person directly responsible for the ministry.  It's definitely been a fantastic transition for our family and for me as I've been able to use Aidan's nap times to rest and nap myself during the extreme first trimester exhaustion.  

Adventures in Cooking: My little guy's very favorite thing to do these days is to "help" Mommy in the kitchen.  The second I say "I need to start dinner" he immediately drags a chair over and says "I help!" He taste tests everything, wants to smell every spice or seasoning I put in, loves to pour, dump and mix ("I do it all by myself!") and tells me what he thinks needs to be added.  Not too many 2 year olds will say "Mommy we need a teaspoon of rosemary!" even if we're making, you know, pancakes...  He is learning the numbers on the measuring cups ("we need one with a 1 and a 4 on it!") and we count everything we put in the bowl.  Getting to cook something by myself these days is a huge treat, but I know how important it is for his learning to be part of life in the kitchen (you are welcome, Aidan's future wife.)  We're also growing tomatoes, basil and rosemary for the first time ever and every single day he tells me, "Mommy, I need to go check on my potatoes!"  "I pick the red potatoes!"  He loves taking his bucket out to "harvest" our tomatoes of the day.  And we're working on learning to only pick the red ones...

Reading Reading Reading: I have actually started reading for fun again and making time for that each evening, which is something I got out of the habit of for awhile there in a spring season of a ton of evening commitments and busyness.  The best books I have read this spring were:

• The All You Can Dream Buffet, a fun story of 4 friends who meet up on a farm outside McMinnville, OR to each find healing in life.  A great story of friendship, love, food and the northwest!  
• The One Hundred Foot Journey.  I saw a movie preview recently for this book, it's coming out in August, and looked so good, so I picked up the novel.  Parts of it felt slow to me, but overall I really loved this story of food, the clash of cultures (traditional Indian family moves to France), and the coming of age of the main character, a young boy with an incredible gift of cooking.  The movie looks like it will be really really good, with Helen Miren playing one of the main characters.  Definitely would recommend it!
• Girl at the End of the World.  This true story is the memoir of a woman who was raised right here in California in a religious cult that her father essentially runs.  Parts of her story of spiritual and physical abuse are difficult to read, but it's an important story, one of hope, redemption, and her incredible strength.  
• Carry On, Warrior.  This would be my #1 recommended book this year I think.  It's our MOPS summer book club book and a fantastic read by Glennon Doyle Melton, author of the Momastery blog.  If you're a mom especially, this one is a great one to pick up.  The chapters are super super short so you could read one a day even while nursing a baby or before falling asleep.  Definitely recommend it!

Right now I'm reading both Animal, Vegetable, Miracle for our book club and Tender at the Bone--two great books about food, although very different from one another!

Listening: Both Charles and I are newly obsessed with the band Needtobreathe and would listen to them all the time if the munchkin didn't demand the Frozen soundtrack every time we got into the car.  Powerful lyrics and great sound.

Traveling: It's been a season of surprisingly little travel for me!  I know, so strange!  In June I took Aidan to my parent's for a week while Charles was in Costa Rica, and in August we're going back to Minnesota for a quick 4 day weekend to celebrate my dad's 60th birthday with my aunts and uncles and grandparents, but otherwise we haven't gone anywhere since my trip to Colorado at the end of March.  No wonder I am feeling antsy these days!

That's about all we've been up to lately!  It's been a season of exploring a few new places in LA, delighting in Aidan's new grasp of language (the other day he told me the airplane came around the bend and startled him...) and thinking about this new little one's arrival into our family as we enjoy the summer evenings playing with friends.