With winter camp last Friday I never got a chance to post things I was thankful for last week, so this week the list is a bit longer since I'm covering two weeks at once! I've been at this for two months now, and am at 160 things I'm thankful for this year, which has been so fun! Here are just a few from my thankfulness journal:
123. Getting to enjoy delicious salmon burgers made by my good friend Ryan.
125. Playing Settlers of Catan with Ryan and Alethia
126. Getting to preach on Ash Wednesday
132. Dancing with high school kids at winter camp.
137. Watching the freshmen girls go deeper in their relationships with each other and God.
140. Singing the GLEE sound track loudly with the girls in the car on the way to (and from!) camp.
141. A great meeting with my Presbytery folks Monday
142. SPU has a res life job posted that I applied for! (So does Whitworth, Westmont, and Fresno Pacific--I'm working on applications a lot these days!)
144. Megan's funny Lily stories on her facebook status that make me laugh :)
147. Sharing lunch with Alethia
150. Delicious vegetarian meals
152. Watching Harry Potter with my husband as it rains outside.
Happy weekend everyone! I can't believe next week we'll be in March already! Where did February go?? Yikes! Here's the latest from our corner of the world this week!
**1** My dear husband lost his phone Monday night, which has launched us into much conversation about whether or not we have the best cell plan for us. We feel like we are paying a ridiculous amount of money with Verizon, so we're working on shopping around. Or rather, I have been working on shopping around. I have been to a ridiculous number of cell phone stores this week and we still don't know what exactly we are going to do. But he's still without a phone, so we'll see what we do tonight at the Verizon store and how that plays out. I'll be glad when we have made a decision!
**2** We had a college student over for dinner last night because he had wanted to have a conversation with us about some theological stuff. It was quite the conversation, which got a little heated at times, but we were honored to be invited into his life in this way--he mentioned Chuck has made a big impact on him in the past year, which I know was so encouraging for Chuck to hear. We have been co-leading a small group at Cal Tech all year of a group of guys (yes, it's kind of strange being the only girl but still fun!) and it's been great being part of their journeys.
**3** The job hunt is going, slowly, but it's going. I applied for several residence hall director positions around the west coast this past week which was great, there are even some openings at both mine and my sister's alma maters, which would be amazing and so fun to be back in the northwest--so I'm keeping my fingers crossed! I also have a couple church positions in the works in a couple locations throughout the country, so we'll see what comes of those conversations.
**4** Trader Joes has their first batches of beautiful spring tulips out! I bought some incredible orange/yellow tulips on Monday which have been making me smile all week!
**5** Our church has been doing a Wednesday evening Lenten Eve series, which is going to be wonderful! We had week 1 this week, and each week is going to center around a particular character who encountered Jesus on his way to the cross. This past week was the Samaritan leper who Jesus healed, and our friend George gave a monologue in full costume as the leper. It was wonderful, and I can't wait for next week.
**6** Bragging moment--my husband is awesome :) He has so much work to do between now and spring break, he works so hard, he does such a good job, and he still insists on taking me out for date nights even in the midst of his busy time of the quarter. I really love him :)
**7** Tomorrow I get to go to the installation of the Reverend Becca at her new job! So proud of her, she's officially a pastor!
I have really enjoyed this challenge! And it hasn't been easy being at winter camp last weekend and having no control over the menu (I was so hungry one day I gave in and ate the chicken sandwich, I'll admit!). But it has been so fun thinking creatively about what I eat and thinking a little differently. For instance, I used to have turkey sandwiches for lunch and have had to think differently about that, and what I've found is that I have actually incorporated more variety into my diet. Some days I'll make a black bean and rice quesadilla, or today I made a delicious pita sandwich, stuffed with hummus, red peppers, onions, cheese, and tomatoes. SO yummy! Yesterday I hate a HUGE plate of sliced veggies dipped in hummus, a whole wheat pita with hummus, string cheese, and an apple with peanut butter. I was full all afternoon and it was SO delicious! Chuck has been awesome, he is right on board with all this, even telling me he's excited about the next meal to try. I'm sure I'll manage to make a few things he doesn't love, but he's been such a great partner :) (he was already partially vegetarian on his own, as we never eat meat at breakfast, and he'd been doing vegetarian lunches for the last several months, so he's on board with trying this new diet).
Sundays during Lent are considered "mini Easters" where we remember the resurrection in the midst of our season of giving something up, so typically on Sundays you can break your fast, which we are by eating some type of fish for dinner Sunday evening. We have found an incredible salmon recipe that was SO easy and delicious that we've made twice this month, so I've linked to that below. Here are a couple other things we've cooked this week that we've both enjoyed:
Chap always told me if I wanted to do youth ministry, I'd better be prepared to have my heart broken. I didn't understand what that meant. I do now. I wasn't prepared for this. Up until now I'd had fun with kids, I'd played games, gave hugs, facilitated small group conversations that didn't usually get too deep or personal, but broken? Nope. Not really. Until now. Jesus, I hurt inside--the deep ache of the weight of brokenness around me. Winter camp this weekend was a blast, so much fun, so much goofing off, and so hard too. Kids open up in ways we don't get to see during regular program times when they're up in the mountains, away from life. That's why we take them to camps. But I've never been on the receiving end of this "opening" before. And I am overwhelmed with the reality that I can't save these precious precious children. You can. I'm not their savior, as much as I want to be, as desperately as I want to snap my fingers and see their pain disappear, I realize I can't. Those perfectly placed smiles cracked this weekend, allowing me to catch glimpses of the depth of pain, confusion, questions, fears, doubts, regrets, and pressure these children feel. For that's what they are. Children. Somewhere along the lines, amidst the hormones, the acne, the sarcasm and attitude, we have forgotten who they are. They're children. Your children. Whom you absolutely long to gather to yourself and hold tight, whispering over and over to them that they are your creation, they are your delight, they are loved, they are forgiven, they are precious! I was hit with the reality that as much as I would do anything to comfort little Lily when she cries, how much more do you feel that for these, for Your children?! I stood there in worship on Sunday morning looking up and down the rows at the faces of the teenagers we'd spent the weekend with, and started weeping--these kids need you, so desperately, and some of them are starting to realize that. And that is such a beautiful thing to get to witness.
I long for them to encounter the freedom you offer. I long for them to see that no matter how many disproving looks they receive from parents over grades lower than an A, you look upon them with joy and delight. I long for them to believe life IS worth living. I wish these young girls understood how beautiful they truly are. I long for them to know they can be confident, strong young women, and that this is beautiful! I long for adults to look at them and not see an annoying, loud, disrespectful person, but rather see a child crying out for love and attention. I ache with desire for them to feel forgiven, to know they don't have to walk around under a mantle of shame and guilt. Jesus, you are their savior. Help me point to you, and help me realize I can't be you. And thank you, Jesus, for being our savior.
Happy Weekend everyone! Hope you all had a great week, here's the latest from our little corner of the universe!
**1** I had the chance to preach a short homily on Wednesday night at Ash Wednesday, which was SO fun for me, I loved getting to think about and share about this holy day that means so much to me. In typical Glendale Pres fashion, the service wasn't a traditional Ash Wed. service, it was a "Worship Encounter" which we have several times a year--an evening full of music, poetry, often drama, dance, videos, art, testimonies and reflections. I adore them and wish we could have them more often!
**2** Since Lent has officially begun, my hubby and I have had some conversation about what it is we would like to change in our daily lives and why. We have decided together to journey into the world of vegetarianism for the six weeks of Lent. This isn't just because it's healthier than eating meat (although it is), or because it's easier on our environment (although it is), nor is it because it's a cheaper way to eat (although it is), but we wanted to do something that would cause us to constantly remember and pray for those in countries where food is so hard to come by. Every time we decide we "really want a hamburger" or really want the steak in our burritos, we want to remember that there are people everywhere who would love that as well, and never have a shot at attaining it for themselves. We don't think about how easy it is for us to get ahold of food here, nor do we put much thought into the fact that for millions of people scrounging up rice and beans for a family each day is literally a full time job. We have it so easy. We want to attempt to remember these precious children of God world wide and intentionally intercede for them during this season. It's going to cause us to think creatively about what we eat, be intentional about trying new things, and plan ahead when we know we'll be stopping with youth at fast food places (like for lunch today on our drive). We already discovered the benefits of not ordering something with meat at a restaurant! Last night we went to use a gift card for the Cheesecake Factory and split a bit salad (without the chicken) and a pasta dish plus a glass of wine and were amazed at the fact that if we had ordered these with meat we would have been adding about $7 to our bill! We are going to incorporate fish into our diets once a week (on our "celebration" days--you break your fasts on Sundays during Lent generally) but otherwise, we're going to do our best to avoid eating meat. Stay tuned for fun new recipes we'll try!
**3** We take off this afternoon for a weekend at high school winter camp with 500 high school students from churches all over southern California. We're taking 26 people from our church (5 leaders and 21 kids) for a weekend of music, talks, games, food, crafts, hiking, zip lining, snow games etc. And I'm sure, little sleep! So if anyone tries to call and only gets voice mail this weekend, we have no service :) I am excited that we are taking kid's phones away from them for the weekend to help them retreat. They will hate it, not being able to text a million people a day, but it should help us be able to connect face to face a little better!
**4** I received a letter from a church I had interviewed at back in January saying they were pursuing another candidate. My immediate emotion when I opened the letter was relief, so I think that's a sign that I really did not want that job. It was for a children's ministry director, and I think if I'm honest, I really don't want to be a children's director even though I know I'm qualified and could do it. **5** I got to have dinner Wednesday night with my former pastor and supervisor, Ross, which was amazing. It was so good to catch up with him, have him encourage me in this job hunt process, hear what's been going on at the church I used to be a part of etc. I am so thankful for him and his presence in my life these past several years!
**6** I've come across a couple great websites and a terrific free podcast on itunes that have been really enlightening for me about marriage. I've learned SO much (from the podcast mostly) about how different men and women are, what are effective ways to communicate with each other, what really doesn't work when it comes to our husbands, and I have been absolutely amazed at how dead on these pieces of advice are! Little tiny changes in the words I use or the way I phrase things have received HUGE pay offs, it's as if I have started learning how to speak a language my amazing hubby can interpret and respond to without trying to decode what it is that I am asking for. The websites have just been fun ways to getting ideas on how to bless our husbands in little ways and to help network happily married women so they can share suggestions with one another (or with newly married women) on how to better love our men. Wanna check them out for yourself? I'd highly recommend it!
The podcast is called Marriage Uncensored through itunes, and was actually a TV show in Canada led by 2 marriage specialists. It's a free download and since it's a video you watch it right on your computer or put it on a video ipod. I'll be honest, the woman on the show drives me a little crazy, but I have received great advice and they always have a special guest, like the author of Love and Respect, or the author of a book on sex we read called Sheet Music. Great stuff out there to help strengthen marriages!
I had the privilege of giving the homily at our church's Ash Wednesday service last night, it kind of came about last minute, but I was so honored to be asked. If you know me, you know this is one of my two very favorite days in the church year (the other being Good Friday), so I was ecstatic to get to preach on a topic/day that I am so passionate about. I love the depth, the history, the tradition, the tangible aspect of touching ashes, seeing a visible sign upon our heads of our humanness. I love how much brighter Easter is once you walk through the shadows of the Lenten season. Yes, I love Ash Wednesday. For anyone who is interested, or who missed getting to be at their own Ash Wednesday service yesterday, here's my 7 minute message:
My basis for this message was Psalm 51, so you may want to read verses 1-10 of this first!
Repentance.Confession.Sin.Transgressions.Iniquity.Death.Lenten words. If we are honest, most of us start to get a little uncomfortable when we hear these words mentioned in church.Wouldn’t we rather spend our time talking about joy, forgiveness, jubilation, and life?We like these words don’t we?These “Easter words” that bring to mind brightness, color, energy, and exuberance.The Lenten words don’t bring about quite the same feeling do they?Our tendency is to fly through the next six weeks without pausing, to race ahead to the glorious day of resurrection that makes us want to jump and shout and clap for joy.And we could do this.We could pretend Ash Wednesday doesn’t really mean anything.We can ignore the season of Lent and act as if we don’t need to prepare for Easter.But if we do, aren’t we only short-changing ourselves?We miss something.How do we know just how bright resurrection morning is if we have not paused to experience the shadows of the Lenten season?When we sing and clap and dance for joy because our sins have been forgiven with the rising of our Lord, do we really even know what it is that we are in need of forgiveness for?
King David, the author of the Psalm Elizabeth just read certainly understood sin.He had just committed adultery with Bathsheba, had Bathsheba’s husband killed so he would never find out the child she is carrying is not his own, and been confronted by Nathan the prophet, who knows of David’s sin.David understands what guilt feels like.He understands what it is like to feel as low as the dust from which he was formed.Remember you are dust.And to dust, you shall one day return.David doesn’t seem to need the reminder of Ash Wednesday as he cries out:“Cleanse me, God!Against you I have sinned.Wash me!Let me be whiter than snow again.Give me a pure heart God, for I know my sins, I have been sinful from the time I was born.Renew me o Lord, only you can restore me.”
Like David, we too know the reality of our sin. We know where we’ve messed up. We know when we have done things that were disrespectful, made hurtful comments to people we love, or have dwelt on thoughts that we shouldn’t have allowed to linger in our minds. But often, we don’t take time to pause to really think about these things, or ask God for forgiveness.
So tonight, we pause to remember we are sinners.We acknowledge we are dust, we are human, we are frail, we are finite.We are marked with ashes—black, dusty, dirty smudges on our skin in the shape of a cross.And that is where we find the beauty of Ash Wednesday.In the cross.Jesus knew how human we were when he came to die on that cross.He knows, tonight, how human we all are.He knows the shame we carry, the guilt that plagues us.But he hasn’t left us alone to wander in the shadows and darkness.He invites us to let go.He whispers to each of us tonight, “let me cleanse you.Let me carry that burden for you.Let me wash you.Let me give you a clean heart, a renewed spirit, a fresh start for I love you.”
I was reminded this past weekend that Ash Wednesday isn’t the only time in our lives we are marked upon our foreheads with the sign of a cross.My 4 month old niece was baptized in Rhode Island on Sunday, and I was struck with the reminder that for those of us who have been baptized, we’re marked with the sign of a cross upon our foreheads on that day.Only we’re not marked with dirty smudges of ash at that time, we’re marked with clean, refreshing water.This water is a symbol of God’s promise to us that we are a part of his family, his promise that he has removed our sins from us.He remembers them no more.As we leave here tonight we leave with a visible reminder upon our heads that we are human.We are dust.And we are sinners.And when we return home and we turn on the clean, refreshing water to wash the ashes from our foreheads, may we allow ourselves to remember that we have been cleansed.We are forgiven.And we await with great anticipation the celebration that is coming—the celebration of Jesus triumphing over all our sin, all darkness, over death itself, so that we might one day live with him for all eternity.
I wasn't able to post last Friday, so here's last week's list of some of the things I wrote down in my thankfulness journal that I am thankful for. Honestly, many of them have to do with my little munchkin of a niece. So photos to illustrate my thankfulness points are included :)
101. Safe travel to and from Providence.
102. Even though I had to miss Dave & Tera's wedding, I got to watch the whole thing on line because they had a live webcast of it! It was a beautiful celebration of their relationship!
103. Coming home to my love :) He showed up at the train station with a red rose, and it was so great to sleep snuggled up next to him again!
104. The way Lily has learned how to clasp her hands together, and now plays with her fingers and gets them to her mouth to suck on them. Precious! 105. Smiles that are as precious as anything I have ever seen. 106. The way Lily giggles and coos when you sing to her, as if she's trying to sing along. 109. The facebook comments my hubby left for me while I was gone to remind me how much I am loved.
110. Watching my mom be a grandma. She loves to cuddle with Lily, sing her lots of songs, read her stories, take her for walks--she's absolutely amazing with her granddaughter! (Which is no surprise, it's how she was with us!) (Here she is reading nursery rhymes) 112. Getting to video chat with Grandma and Papa Friday night from Megan's house.(Trying to get Lily to smile for them!) 114. Getting to read for so many hours on the plane. I went through 2 1/2 books this weekend! I read Sarah's Key, The Art of Racing in the Rain, and am about 40% finished with a book called The Help. So relaxing!
117. Watching my dad be a Papa. He dotes on this little girl and absolutely adores her. She's had him wrapped around her little finger since she opened her eyes. She loves him too, he's almost always able to get great smiles out of her! My favorite moment of the weekend was listening to him whisper to her over and over as he rocked her to sleep that Lily was "such a precious little girl, and Papa loved her so much, she is beautiful, she is so so precious." Yes, I cried watching this.Dad helped feed Lily her first taste of oatmeal--she loved it, wailed when it was gone, and managed to slime him and his shirt with gooey oatmeal in the process which just made everyone laugh! The video of it is hysterical, she LOVED eating "real" food! 119. Getting to spend time with my sister. I've seen her SO much in the past year and a 1/2--way more than I had seen her in the past ten years since not living at home! I adore Megan, she is a phenomenal little sister, and is an incredible mom! 120. Watching little Lily be welcomed as a precious child of God!
