Let Us Be People of Easter

A devotion I wrote and gave to MOPS this week:

 

Friends it’s a joy to proclaim to you this morning that He is Risen!  I know it’s easy to think Easter is over--Target quickly put away the plastic eggs, obnoxious Easter grass that gets all over everything and doesn’t vacuum up easily, and marked down all the leftover peeps, but in the life of the Christian church we’re still smack in the middle of the Easter season.  I used to teach a class for children ages 4-6, and it was a program called Godly Play, where we taught children how to worship, how to participate in the life and liturgy of a congregation and we used to help them recognize and celebrate the various seasons of the church year.  We would explain to them when they saw the purple banners and cloths show up in the church it meant we were in the season of Lent, the 6 weeks before Easter, and that purple meant we were waiting for something huge to happen--Easter was so important it took us 6 weeks to get ready for it!  But what many people don’t realize is that the 7 weeks after Easter are called the Easter season--we’d tell the kids that easter was SO huge, was SO important to our faith that one sunday wasn’t nearly enough to celebrate it fully, the church needed 7 sundays where we would proclaim “he is risen! he is risen indeed!” to one another every week.  Many congregations have lost that practice, using those words, “he is risen” only one week a year, but i wish that was something we could reclaim.  Because those words matter.  They’re game changing, life changing words, history changing words.  And many of us only hear them once a year.  But i want to tell you again today that He is Risen.  Or as my 3 year old likes to run around saying “he is risen and fabulous!”  We have absolutely no idea where those words came from, but I love them.  Jesus is risen and fabulous.  

Jesus is risen.  But that doesn’t mean everything is perfect, it doesn’t mean life is without hard times.  We heard three incredible stories two weeks ago from our friends who freely shared about very difficult times in their lives.  Life is messy.  Life is downright painful at times.  There is a constant mixture of the beautiful and the bitter, and Jesus’ resurrection does not promise to take away the bitter as much as we wish it would.  At least not here, not now, not yet.  Shauna Niequist calls this life bittersweet, the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful--a sliver of lightness on even the darkest night, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak.  That if everything in life was sweetness, it would rot our teeth and our souls.  The bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands.  Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, full of depth and complexity, it’s courageous, gutsy and earthy.  It’s the bitter parts of our stories that allow us to sit with one another, to reach out when we see others suffering a similar pain we’ve endured.  It is after having walked through those bitter moments and seasons in life that we are able to utter what I’ve come to believe are two of the most powerful words in a friendship.  The words “me too.”  Me too.  I’ve been there too.  You’re not the only one who has been so sleep deprived you’ve considered walking away from your kids.  Me too.  You’re not the only one who has been so fed up with a spouse that you’ve found yourself entertaining the question “do I want to do this for the next 50 years?”  Me too.  You’re not the only one who has worried over the health of a loved one, or grieved in the emergency room over the loss of someone dear to you.  Jesus is risen, but life is still messy, and walking through those messy times gives us the privilege of proclaiming to one another “you are not alone in your messy and bitter moments.”  

But friends, here is what the resurrection of Jesus does promise us.  It promises us that our messy, sometimes painful and bittersweet life won’t be that way forever.  The book of Revelation promises us, in what might be one of the most hope-filled passages in all of scripture that one day all suffering will end.  I believe that one day we will stand before the throne of God and never again will we hunger.  Never again will we know the scorching heat of the sun.  Never again will we shed a tear, in fact I believe it with all of my heart that one day God will wipe away every tear we have ever shed from our eyes.  Because Jesus is alive we have this hope.  I believe that the same Jesus who was put to death on a cross 2000 years ago is alive again today, and because he is risen we have hope.  One day there won’t be any more depression, there won’t be any more cancer, there won’t be any more drunk driving accidents, one day there will be a cease-fire forever in war torn parts of this planet.  Life is still messy friends, sometimes life is downright painful but I believe with all my heart that Jesus is alive and because he is alive we can live with hope.  

My favorite song-writer, poet, prophet, is the late Rich Mullins, who died tragically way too young.  But he left behind a treasure-trove of words that over and over again point me to Jesus, and to the hope we have in him.  One of my favorite songs of his is called If I Stand, and the chorus says

 

So if I stand let me stand on the promise

That You will pull me through

And if I can't then let me fall on the grace

That first brought me to You

If I sing let me sing for the joy

That has born in me these songs

But if I weep let it be as a man

Who is longing for his home

Friends because Jesus is risen we have the promise of another home someday. The resurrection does not mean we will never grieve here on earth.  It does not mean everything in our lives will be springtime and sunshine and roses.  But because of the resurrection we can say “i know this isn’t the end.  I know in my head, even if I don’t always feel it in my heart, that someday I won’t cry anymore, someday my loved ones won’t suffer.  As i look at the world around me I HAVE to believe that, I have to believe the pain in this world isn’t how God intended life to be.  Even in the midst of dark times, may we be people of Easter.  People who can help proclaim to one another that Jesus is risen, and because of those 3 words, everything in our lives will be made new someday.  We can grieve, cry, laugh, dance, fight, make up, parent our kids, care for our loved ones, and walk through the ordinary everday moments with great hope.  Jesus is risen friends, he is risen indeed.  

 

What We've Been Into (Winter 2015)

It's been quite awhile since I last linked up with the lovely Leigh Kramer's blog for her monthly "What I'm Into" posts, but I have a few minutes and am finally emerging a little from the newborn fog to be able to attempt some blogging.  It's the end of March, which means here in LA it feels like June would for most of the country.  It's already been hot, dry and we're hearing reports of our incredible lack of water that already plagues our state.  Seeing as how we're in the midst of adjusting to life with a newborn (he's now 3 months old!  I guess that doesn't make him a newborn anymore??) we haven't had much time to be "into" that much.  I mostly do a lot of this each day:

and to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't trade these moments for the world.  It's unbelievable to me how quickly these 3 months have flown with a busy 3 year old to keep up with.  But in addition to snuggling the happiest baby ever, here are some of the things I am loving these days.

Reading:
I have managed to do a bit of reading these past few months, mostly as I'm nursing a little one, although unlike with my first son where I could read all day, I now have a 3 year old to entertain while I feed the baby--which means my reading total is MUCH less than if I were to write this post after 3 months with baby #1!  I've read 4 books in the past 3 months:

All the Light We Cannot See: This one is at the top of everyone's reading list, the NY Times lists and book club picks.  And I honestly did not love it.  At all.  Like I think I actually said to my mom one day "good lord is this war ever going to end so this book can be done??"  Yes, there were some beautifully written moments, but the whole thing dragged out SO long for me, and I couldn't stand the way he kept jumping between time periods.  I found myself confused a lot and on a kindle it's hard to flip back and forth.  Not my new favorite read.

Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult: This one was a page turner for me, as most of Jodi's books are.  I didn't love the end, it was a twist I REALLY didn't see coming, but I did like the mystery and the story.

The Girl You Left Behind by Jojo Moyes:  Moyes is maybe my new favorite author obsession.  I've now read 3 of hers and really have enjoyed all of them--the way the stories are written keeps me turning pages and staying up too late!  This one was a WWI story that connected with modern day through a particular piece of art and it was a really fun read.  I just started One Plus One by the same author and am hoping it will be just as well written!

Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenrider: I've started thinking a lot about our space and our possessions and have really enjoyed her blog, so I bought her book and found it helpful in thinking through what we own and why.  We've been on a major purging kick lately and her book has been really influential in that!

Watching:
Lets be honest.  I haven't had time to watch much of anything in 3 months.  As soon as my kiddos are asleep I am generally heading to bed myself to function on the getting up every 2 hours to feed routine we're on here.  I've decided my next binge watching show is going to be Friday Night Lights. And by binge watching I mean I've watched 2 episodes in 3 weeks.  At this rate I'll be looking for a new show in 2017.  One of my best friends gave me season 1 of The Newsroom when Asher was born because she knew how much I loved West Wing (Aaron Sorkin wrote Newsroom).  I FLEW through it in the first three weeks of his life--while the grandparents were all still here to help. Oh my gosh I loved that show! I pretty much think Aaron Sorkin is the best writer around.  Ever.  I still love Nashville and have been faithfully following it--just a week or two behind usually.  I thought the ending Parenthood was phenomenal--one of the best series finales ever written.  I did discover we get HGTV when Asher was born--I had no idea we had that many channels on our TV (this should prove we never watch it in our house!).  So since then I've found myself zoning out in front of Love it Or List It when I have a half hour before bed to unwind.

Listening:
One of the things I have started doing lately is listening to more podcasts while I fold laundry or cook.  My new favorite is The Art of Simple by Tsh Oxenrider--each episode finds her chatting with someone from the blogosphere about whatever their topic is. Her guests are usually people I've already been reading and am interested in, and they just chat!  It's so fun to listen to and I have gotten some fun recommendations from hearing what they're chatting about.

My freezer:

So most of you knew that before this baby arrived I spent 2-3 months filling a chest freezer with meals I could simply heat and serve.  I made simple things like lasagnas, enchilada casserole, chili, spaghetti sauce with meatballs, ravioli bakes, and a few other soups.  I also made big batches of breakfast burritos and waffles and muffins to have simple breakfasts on hand for both myself and our 3 year old.  Words cannot express what a lifesaver this has been.  I have no idea how I would ever get food on the table each night if I didn't have the main dish already taken care of.  We still have quite a few meals left, and then for baby shower gifts and Christmas gifts I had asked for gift certificates to Dream Dinners, a company that basically lets you come in and prepare your own freezer meals to take home and store, so I can easily restock the freezer.  It's been amazing pulling something out to defrost, and only worrying about adding a salad, bread, or other vegetable as a side dish.  My new advice to expecting moms, don't worry about reading parenting books as much--no kid seems to fit the book!  Buy a freezer and fill it with your free time instead!

That's about what we've been into lately--trying to nap as often as possible (when our 3 year old will let me!), go to bed early, and snuggle this baby as long as I possibly can before he gets big too!  Happy Easter friends, may you find joy celebrating the resurrection with your loved ones!

A Sunday Morning Confession

"Mommy where are you? Mommy what are you doing? Mommy can you play with me?!" The demands never end.  There's a baby crying to be fed, a husband who can't find his car keys, a three year old who NEVER. STOPS. TALKING. EVER.  I look around at the mess I sit in the midst of, the kitchen floor that has seen much better days, the collection of toys and books that somehow never make it back onto their shelves, the three baskets of laundry--clean, but unfolded, sitting in the living room, and I sigh.  The lack of hours in a day, the to do list that gets longer, not shorter, the sleep deprivation and diapers and meals to prepare--it seems to pile up around me faster than I can do anything about it.  And then there is the inadequacy I feel as I stare down a very stubborn preschooler--battling over nap times and whether he is actually going to sit in his time out or his inability to STOP THROWING THINGS!  I realize I am not trained.  I don't have the answers to 100 million questions a day.  I have no idea how to respond when I tell him "no" and he says "but I like to!"  And I sit with my inadequacy and realize I actually AM inadequate.  Not in a self-pitying way, but in an "I am desperate for help, I don't know how to do this" kind of way.

So I do the only thing I can in this moment on this Sunday morning before we head off to the 11:00 service.  I pop another episode of Thomas onto the TV downstairs.  I crank the baby swing up and let Asher drift off to sleep.  I pour another cup of coffee, shove the crumbs off the table and onto the floor (really, what's a few more on an already crunchy floor?), move the Cheerios box over and I open my bible that has gathered way too much dust in the last couple months.  I don't have a clue where I'm turning to or what I'm looking for, I just know I need help and Jesus promises to be near when we call on him.  I confess my fears and frustrations.  I tell him I'm not sure how to do this, I'm not sure I can do this.  And the whisper comes "you can't.  Not on your own.  Will you stop relying on your own strength and knowledge?  You don't have what it takes.  But I do."  Isn't that the truth?  No matter what our calling or task in life, don't we always think we can do it on our own strength?  When will I learn to turn to Him FIRST instead of to bail me out after I've dug too deep?  He actually is enough, and he actually does know what he's doing.  Jesus calls us to trust Him, to trust that whatever we face in life He is bigger and greater than our troubles.  Whether we run a church, oversee a Fortune 500 company, or change diapers and tie little shoes all day we don't have to go it alone.  May we invite him into our week this week, into the tiny and mundane tasks that are on our to do list, into the meals we prepare and the conversations we have and the time outs we administer.  Jesus is calling us to walk with Him, are we willing to make the space to listen?

The Voices of Facebook

When we were growing up it seemed as if everyone gave up one of two things for Lent: chocolate or soda (or other forms of caffeine, but most middle school students didn't drink coffee in the mid-90s--the frappaccino hadn't been invented yet or something!). Nowadays one of the most common Lenten "sacrifice" among my friends is Facebook (or other social networking platform--I am not a twitter user but I would imagine that is in the same camp).  I have given up Facebook in the past, and some years have found that tougher than others. I do miss out on event invites, viral videos and the occasional big news post. It really has become our culture's primary form of communication in many ways, and for many reasons I really love it. However I always am surprised by how many things about Facebook I don't actually miss each year, and each year something different seems to strike me. One year I noticed I was so much more content with life. I wasn't constantly comparing myself to other's photos or events. I was content to simply live my life in the present with the people around me and wasn't worrying about what anyone else was doing.  There was a lot of freedom in that! Every year I am always struck and embarrassed by how much free time I have without it--especially since we can access it from our phones no matter where we are. I have read 2.5 novels while nursing and rocking Asher since Lent began where I hadn't read even one in the 8 weeks since he was born. For a reader and wanna-be writer like me that is embarrassing! What could I possibly be reading on Facebook that is more enriching than getting lost in a beautiful story??

This year something new is striking me. I am not missing the crowd of voices and opinions we are inundated by every time we log in--giving us constant feedback and commentary on our lives.  Facebook is an incredible tool to connect people and get ideas. I love asking "what new restaurant should we try tonight?" and getting a ton of suggestions. I love asking if anyone has an item I could borrow or if people know the best plumber in the area. I have received amazing ideas and suggestions from my fellow facebookers! However one thing I have noticed a lot this past year is the tendency of some folks to immediately want to offer their advice and opinions with every post that gets put up--even when I haven't asked for anyone's thoughts or feedback. I totally get that if I post a question like "hey I am starting potty training, any advice?" then I am going to get all kinds of opinions, ideas, and even dissension from folks. But opinions and advice, and even criticism especially in the realm of parenting, are given even if no question is asked.  

And I absolutely get it, I do! Once you have survived/mastered/figured something out about parenting it is so easy to want to share that with others--even when they haven't asked for your opinions. I am so guilty of the same thing--freely offering advice of what I think someone should do instead of waiting to be asked. Something that I think is different about being a young mom today than even 15 years ago is that we are absolutely inundated with parenting opinions, suggestions and debates because of the rise of social media. I literally cannot sign into Facebook without a blog post popping up having something to do with motherhood or discipline or school choices or potty or sleep training--it's completely overwhelming to be honest. Whose voice do we listen to? Which "expert" advice should I be following? And that is all before people comment on my individual photos or status updates with advice or opinions!  It is absolutely no wonder to me that my friends and I talk all the time about being constantly confused, doubting all of our choices, living with the knowledge that we are always wrong, no matter what we do because someone in the blogging world or someone on Facebook has felt the need to point out our errors or how their way was better.  

I wonder what would happen if everyone who used social media asked themselves a couple questions before posting or responding to someone.  First, "is what I am about to say encouraging to this person?"  We live in a world FULL of negative commentary, and I wonder how it would change things on line if we intentionally tried to be encouraging of one another instead of critical?  Maybe mom's old saying needs to be brought back to light: "If you can't say something nice, do you need to say anything at all?"  Second, and this one is something that I know for a fact other young moms would appreciate as well because we have talked about it--if we haven't specifically asked for parenting advice or ideas, maybe consider not sharing your opinions right away.  Maybe a conversation about our parenting choices is better had in person, or at the very least in a private message, not necessarily on our public Facebook pages.  I think most of us have been hurt in some way, shape or form in our online conversations, and I just wonder if maybe we were all a bit more intentional about being encouraging, disciplining ourselves to withhold criticism, especially when it comes to something as personal as parenting, and choosing to be a positive voice in the online world, what kind of difference could that make?  It's a challenge I want to accept myself, and pray that maybe others might join me to bring a little bit of light to other's lives (or status updates!).

Just Keep Showing Up

While visiting my parent's church this morning I had taken up my usual post these days--standing in the narthex bouncing a baby while listening to the service on the speakers in the ceiling.  As I stood gently shushing and bouncing my little guy, attempting to convince him to close his eyes, I heard two things that caught my attention.  The first was the unmistakable  hiccuping and shaky breaths of a toddler trying to stop crying.  The second was an angry sounding dad.  I turned to look and saw a little boy of about two being carried down the hallway in his dad's arms while his dad gruffly said "you just blew it in church big time.  You'll be lucky if I ever let you back in church again!"  I have no idea what the little guy did, what drastic offense was committed to warrant such a response, but my heart caught in my throat as I heard these words.  Everything in me wanted to remind this dad that the one place his little guy SHOULD be able to mess up is in church!  Imagine if that were our philosophy.  "You can come in here to worship, but ONLY if you haven't messed up."  I would think there would be an awful lot of empty pews on Sunday mornings.  There is grace.  There is so much grace at the altar of our Lord.  And oh I wanted to tell that little boy it was okay.  He could have another chance.  Jesus wants to see him there next week.  And the next.

Now I understand the desire to train our children to behave properly in worship.  I agree, it's important, and my husband and I are doing our best (and failing fairly miserably most weeks) at helping our 3 year old make it even through the children's message without causing a disruption. I was the kind of kid that quietly sat through a full length live musical at the age of 2.  Sitting through church each week wasn't that difficult for the most part. But my little one...well he's another story.  To be honest, there are some weeks, if I'm solo with the two boys, that it's just easier to take him straight to his Sunday School room rather than deal with a preschooler's antics in a relatively quiet sanctuary.  But week after week we keep trying, knowing that someday he will be able to sit until the children's sermon.  And then someday he'll be able to sit until the sermon.  And then through the sermon.  Because I want my boys to learn proper behavior, I want them to learn to discipline themselves and quiet their bodies, hearts, and minds to enter into worship.  That day will come, I have no doubt.  More than that though, more than I want my child to sit quietly, I want him to know without a shadow of a doubt that when he feels like he has messed up big time in life, the church is the one place he can always go.  I want him to know our Heavenly Father is waiting with open arms for him to show up week after week, wiggles and all, to clap along with his extended family of faith, to loudly shout amen! a half second after everyone else does because that's the only word of the prayer he knows.  I think sometimes adults need to see little ones in worship to remind them of a few things in life.  Worship doesn't always have to be such a solemn and serious occasion.  Laughter, joy, dancing, and loud cries are all found throughout scripture as worship is mentioned.  God has a sense of humor!  He gave us the gift of laughter and I fear that in many communities this gift is often put on the back burner in favor of more "serious" behavior.  I also think we need little ones who misbehave in worship because we need to see that in God's eyes, our own behavior isn't any different.  We all mess up.  We all speak when we should be silent at times.  We all say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Jesus promises us we won't taste the kingdom of heaven until we adopt the posture of a child--curious, open hearted, exuberant, honest, and trusting.  Those things belong in worship, and I fear many of us have set these things aside as we have aged in effort to be proper and well-behaved.

Last Sunday our little guy bolted down the center aisle in the middle of the service and daddy had to chase him for a full lap around the sanctuary as a song was sung--Aidan laughing gleefully the whole time.  After the service I was so touched when several folks came up to me and said "that was awesome, we need more spontaneous moments like that, that was the best thing! You're doing a good job mom, just keep coming, keep trying."  I hope that little boy from this morning hears that message from somewhere, that he learns Jesus is always saying to us, no matter how old we are, "keep coming my child, keep trying, you're doing great, just keep showing up, wiggles and all."

Gratitude

One of my new year's plans was to post a photo a day onto Facebook of things I'm thankful for--and it really was such a fun challenge to get me thinking.  But the reality is that I've spent FAR too much time on Facebook since having Asher--mindlessly scrolling at all hours of the day as I nurse him, and not really reading or doing anything else I could be doing instead.  So I knew when Lent rolled around I needed to say goodbye to Facebook for awhile.  It was time to re-set some limits and boundaries with social networking.  Instead of posting daily photos there, I'm going to try keeping a list, and add some photos to it each week of things I've been grateful for in the past 7 days.  This week, I'm grateful for:

The fact that my freezer is fully stocked.  We have had 2 weeks now with no one feeding us, and every single day I am grateful that I just have to pull something out, add a vegetable to the side and maybe some bread.  Best thing I ever did to prepare for this baby!

Husbands who will say "I'll figure out dinner for us honey" and then proceed to grocery shop and cook teriyaki burgers while I am out with friends.  

Grandparents who like to snuggle

The way Asher dreams in his sleep, making puppy noises, smiling and almost laughing to himself.  

A conversation with Aidan:
"Mommy can I watch TV while you make dinner?"
"Sure, you can watch a bit."
"Can I snuggle you?"
"Well I need to make dinner but I can snuggle you for a few minutes."
"I need to snuggle you for 10 minutes mommy because I really love snuggling you."

Celebrating Luke & Sienna's 3rd and 4th birthdays with our community of friends.

New recipes that are a hit, a table full of color from bountiful produce.

Asher's cheeks.

Friends who come over in the evening when your husband is working to help put your kids to bed because you haven't quite mastered the art of bedtime with two.

A 3 year old who wants so badly to learn the names of all your friends.  And everyone we meet in the grocery store.

A husband who does the most amazing job with bath time, bed time and prayers.  

Baby thigh rolls--so in awe that my body is feeding and sustaining his body in an incredible miraculous way to create these adorable little rolls on his body.  

The way my lips fit perfectly into the space between my boy's two eyes, on the bridges of their noses.

Rosy cheeks and runny noses from an afternoon of sledding.

Two months old

First laughs

The chance to sit at a table and eat as much as I want until I am full while others jump up and attend to the needs of my kiddos.  

A few hours a day to sit and read while I snuggle a baby by the fireplace.

A family who likes to play.

Living Life Around a Table

It's not a secret if you are my Facebook friend or have read any of my writing on here that I adore feeding people, having people over for dinner, sharing conversation around a table.  Before we had kiddos that had to be put to bed, I loved nothing more than having another couple or two over, pouring another glass of wine, letting the dirty dishes just sit until late into the evening as we shared stories, laughed, and lived life together.  I think food brings people together in a powerful way, and I think a table is a beautiful symbol of community.  Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist is one of my all time favorite books, and it's about this very thing--how amazing it is when people connect with one another over food and around a table.  Now that we have little kids, dinner parties look a bit different!  There is a flurry of unloading sippy cups, finding extra booster chairs, cutting entrees into bite sized pieces and then wrangling everyone to the table to fold hands and pray together.  We eat quickly, with the dads usually having to get up from the table first to chase little ones into the play room in order to referee preschool squabbles.  They chat as they build race tracks and set sharing timers.  My friends and I finish eating and begin the kitchen clean up, nursing babies and packing up the sippy cups before it gets too close to bedtime.  Leisurely conversation isn't really part of our evenings these days, it's chaos but it's still connection, and it's so so important.

One of my goals for Lent is to make sure we make these connections once a week--with different families, but still inviting people to our table.  The food won't be fancy--most likely it will be one of the meals pulled from my freezer with a salad added, but I'm learning that's okay.  Life doesn't always have to be fancy and not every season in life is made for wine glasses and burning candles on a table.

Last night I had the chance to sit around a table until way too late into the evening having my soul filled.  The leadership team from our MOPS group a year ago got pretty close, and back in November we randomly got together one evening at one of our homes.  We each brought an appetizer, we wore sweats, nothing was fancy or really even homemade (thank you Trader Joes!).  We sat around a dining room table for 3 hours simply sharing life.  We laughed until our stomachs hurt, we chatted about raising babies, husbands, books we've loved and even how to be prepared for the next earthquake.  It fed us.  That evening someone said "we need to do this again.  How about once a quarter?"  So last night it was my kitchen table we sat around until almost 11.  People brought trader joes appetizers, I baked slice and bake cookies, we wore yoga pants and sweat shirts, and I spent a good chunk of the evening bouncing my 8 week old as we chatted, and when I climbed into bed that night my heart was so full.  It's not very often moms get to have uninterrupted conversations, but when the 6 of us gather around a table we do.

Jesus invited us to his table, he told us to break bread and share it with one another and remember him as we do.  He promised that where two or more are gathered in his name, he is among them.  We broke pita last night and dipped it into lentils and olive tappenade.  We poured sparkling water and tap water, we passed plates of cookies and bowls of fruit salad.  And he was there, right in our midst, as we laughed, asked questions, shared stories and headed home with both our bellies and our hearts feeling filled.