I think I am being convicted of something. And I usually hate it when that happens! A couple weeks ago in class my professor made a comment about how the generation of people in their mid to late 20s have not been raised or trained to think critically and deeply about things, or to invest as deeply in individuals in our lives. He argued that a constant stream of blog reading, online news articles, you tube videos, facebook updates, TV sitcoms, and text messages are contributing to individuals feeling the need to be constantly connected, entertained, and obsessed with knowing details about people's lives that they either have never met or rarely see anymore. I've been pondering this for the last couple weeks. I love reading blogs, and I read a bunch--and a handful of them (in fact most of them that I read) are people I don't know, have never met, and probably never will meet. And I find them incredibly entertaining and somewhat addicting. I wake up in the morning excited to see what is happening in the lives of people who mean nothing to me outside the blogging world--I don't even know their real names.
In addition to this comment from a professor, yesterday's chapel was about friendship--and our speaker made the comment that a faithful friend is very different from a facebook friend. A faithful friend is there at 2 in the morning, flies across country to meet your new baby or fiance, is someone that encourages us over and over again to continue clinging to the hand of God when things get tough. Sure, it's fun to know random updates and see pictures of people we once knew in high school but haven't talked to in ten years. But as I've reflected on it lately, I look at the amount of time I spend reading snippets of people's lives I may never see again (or even meet in some cases) and I think about how I could be taking that time to invest deeper in relationships I already have and cherish. Between browsing on facebook and reading blogs of people (some of whom are friends and some of people I will never meet) I eat up a large chunk of time that I could be spending away from a computer screen. Instead of reading about the latest antics of my friends' kids or pets or church board meetings I could pick up a phone or meet them for coffee.
But, honestly, I struggle with this. I enjoy the social networking, feeling connected to a lot of people and I enjoy it when total strangers read and comment on my blog. I enjoy reading others blogs and commenting. I like seeing the new baby born to a person I may never see again, but I don't really know why this is or what this is about. I just know that I walked out of chapel yesterday feeling like something needed to change.
I am in charge of planning youth group next week, and I want to ask the high school students to think and talk about friendship. What makes a faithful friend? What are ways we fail in being faithful friends? What impact does something like facebook have on our relationships? What is the difference between our facebook friends and our soul mates? If we think about it, we as humans weren't created to invest in huge numbers of people in a deep way. Look at how Jesus modeled his ministry. He invested deeply in three individuals--Peter, James and John. They were his "soul mates" or his "inner circle" in some respects. Then he invested in a little larger circle of the 12--but not to the same level or with the same depth of relationship. Jesus also had a community of about 70 people that traveled with him, who knew him and knew his teachings, and whom he socialized with and served. But again not nearly to the same extent that he invested in the 3. I've been told often to think of friendship and relationships in this way--with the model of the 3, the 12 and the 70 in my mind. Three soul mates (those I'm going to call at 2 in the morning), 12 closer friends, and a community of about 70 to maintain social relationships with--hang out with, serve when I can.
Except right now, I have 654 facebook "friends." What does that mean? It says they are my friend, but really, I haven't talked to most of them in years. What is our understanding of "friend" these days? I'm curious--what do any of you think about this phenomenon? Does anyone have any thoughts on the amount of time spent reading about our "friends" online versus interacting with them in "real" life? I know reading blogs is entertaining, but what do you think about reading total stranger's random thoughts about life? How is this helpful to you personally? Or in some ways is it a way of protecting ourselves from loneliness? Or is it a way of procrastinating from other things we are to be doing? Does anyone out there think this is a problem? Or that it isn't a problem?
Maybe you don't, and that is okay! I know I have become really convicted about it, and feeling like the Holy Spirit is nudging me out of cyberspace a bit and into the real world of flesh, tears, laughter and depth, and I need to do something about it. There are a ton of links to people whose blogs I read on the side of the page here, and a lot of them are people I don't know. I've decided that my first step needs to be focusing on people I actually DO have relationships with. So I'm doing a little house cleaning and am going to remove people from my list of "must read blogs" that I have never met. As entertaining as I find their writing, spending time sitting here in front of a screen isn't helpful to really any area of my life. (Gosh, I hate it when that Spirit convicts us of things!!)
As I think and prepare this week to begin this conversation with high school students, I'd love some other opinions. What does anyone else think about the amount of "social networking" that happens on line and is that really ultimately beneficial for us? What are the dangers/downsides? What are the benefits? Agree? Disagree?
Wow...it's really funny you wrote this now, because I have been thinking about this a lot lately! I am reminded of how I always feel when I am disconnected from the internet for extended periods of time, and how refreshing it is to not be compulsively checking Facebook. Sometimes, I just don't care...and I feel SO much better when I don't. While I definitely see the benefit of the social networking (for instance, Greg has a HUGE family, and one of his aunts just reconnected through FB yesterday), you have a valid concern about how much time the online world steals away from those relationships that REALLY matter. I also think the insatiable need to know about what everyone else is doing can have a negative impact a person--I have seen it do some pretty ugly things to people. All that to say, good critical thinking blog--well said.
ReplyDeleteOf course, internet socializing can be misused or a waste of time. E.g., so much of the Twitter Tweets are things you wonder if even the Tweeter cares about!
ReplyDeleteBut, I think technology in the net has contributed to closer, and more, connections with those around the world, as well as in our community. It should be used as a tool to bring some strangers closer together, some even to face 2 face connections. E.g., those who live nearby, and when traveling to meet one "met" over the internet.
I have met many locals via the blogosphere. It met using it as a tool to take the next step to organize local blogger gatherings: to get people out from their hiding places behind their computer monitors to meet in the old fashioned flesh.
I appreciate your writing on this topic.