Hunger

I'm finding myself growing more and more hungry lately. Hungry for Jesus. Hungry to know him more, to follow him, even when that feels terrifying. There's a stirring deep in my soul for more. It's been a long, long time since I've felt this, felt such a desire to not just talk about Jesus, or write about Jesus, but to really know him, to see him, to touch him, to follow in his footsteps. And I am longing to see others know him, and come to love him too.

I long for this world to be different, I deeply desire to see change, to see those who have nothing finally receive their fair share, to see those who are wealthy give freely of their abundance instead of storing up treasures on earth while so many go hungry.

I wish with all my heart that the impression the world has of Christians was different. I hope for the day when the "religious right" would stop yelling about abortion and homosexuality and begin to see that "family values" and being "pro-life" should mean just as much energy and anger towards the fact that millions of children don't have food, or health care, or clean water in this world--that these are family issues too, these are pro-life issues as well.

This world is a mess, and this past week I have been hit hard with a desire to pray for change, for something to happen, for things to be different. I want to see our churches start to BE the people of God, to stop worrying about church attendance and the latest ways to "grow" or be "relevant" and start thinking deeply about the fact that "liturgy" actually means "service"--our worship service ought to be just that, serving. I had this sense while at youth group last week that I wanted more for these kids. I wasn't interested in their whining about playing link-arm tag one more time, I want to see them go deeper, and I don't know how to help them do that, and that bothers me. I'm sick of the status quo. God's calling us to a new place, and even though I am scared, I want to follow. I want to be part of something new, something bigger than myself, something eternal. And I don't know what to do with this, other than say "okay God, I'm here, I'm willing, and I'm ready to do what you call me to." And then to pray I hear him when he calls.