Healing Waters--Houseboats 2011

I adore the annual houseboat trip that Glendale Pres always does. I just do. It is so different from any other camp experience I've had. We are on the water all the time, jumping in and out of the refreshing lake and it's the only time of the year I get to be on boats--which I LOVE--houseboats, kayaks, ski boats--I love them all. Plus at most camps there's not quite as much down time where my main job as a youth leader is to simply float on an inner tube and have conversations with students. It's that intentional "unstructured relational" time that I adore. There's no where I have to be, just sitting there in the water asking girls how life is. The depth of ministry that is able to be done on a trip like this is always amazing to me. When we moved to Seattle we still would get the emails from the youth program at GPC, and as they began mentioning houseboats we found ourselves quite disappointed we wouldn't be able to join them on this incredible trip. When West Side fired us back in June, Chuck's best friend, George (the youth director at GPC) said "I'm really bummed to hear that--but uh--is there any way you want to come on houseboats now that you have free time? I need another male and female leader." We jumped at the chance, bought plane tickets, and found ourselves loaded up in 15 passenger vans surrounded by the students we've spent the past 2 years building relationships with. Walking into the parking lot that day to load up and being met with squeals, hugs, and students SO excited to see us (and the baby bump--baby got LOTS of pats and love this week!) was beyond healing for my broken heart--a heart that was doubting whether church youth ministry is even worth it after being so hurt by our experience in Seattle. Words cannot express how healing it was for both of us to be part of this trip. I shed a lot of tears, tears I hadn't really let myself cry, as I watched how differently this church approaches youth ministry. They aren't perfect, but serving here was SUCH a different experience than serving in Seattle. I found myself sobbing listening to our leaders pour out our hearts to God on behalf of these students. When we asked girls what the "high" of their week was one of them said "having you back." After literally being voted out of a church community & told you're not capable of working with students at a place, to hear a 15 year old say "I just want you back, life isn't the same without you here" was so humbling and so encouraging. So much healing. Chuck had the same experiences. We barely saw one another all week but when we did we always said "we needed this. Thank you, Lord, we needed this trip so badly."

It's funny that God really does put people right where he wants them. The last afternoon I was getting bored being "at camp" (back at the house boats while others were out on ski boats flying across the lake). It was hot, I was tired of being in the sun, and I wasn't feeling like I had had any significant conversations with girls that afternoon. I really wanted out on a ski boat at the 4:00 time slot. But the boats were full, too many students wanted out for the last boat run of the day, so I had to forfeit my spot. I found myself thinking "I have 2 1/2 hours til dinner, what the heck am I going to do with that time?" I was floating in the water with a small group of girls but they all drifted away to go play on the water trampoline (something I couldn't do cuz of baby). All of a sudden I'm alone with one of the girls who I had had such a difficult time connecting with all week. She was fairly new to the group, and was SUPER quiet. I honestly wasn't even sure she was having fun. But I figured I should try again and asked her something random like "how are you feeling going back to school in the fall?" She started talking. And talking. And talking. About some of the deepest, most painful things going on in her life. I simply asked a few questions here and there, and eventually suggested we get out of the water and go sit on the back of the staff boat where I knew we wouldn't be interrupted. This 2 1/2 hour conversation is probably the deepest, most intense conversation I have ever had with a student in my life. She let me speak into her life boldly and ask difficult questions even though she had only met me 4 days earlier. She opened up about her boyfriend and the way he treats her, and let me share with her what I thought. We talked about how she deserved to be treated, we talked about what I wanted for her in a relationship (to not be afraid of his anger, reactions, or control). We talked about the abusive cycle she is finding herself trapped in. We talked about marriage and what it's like to be fully free to be known by someone, without hiding parts of ourselves out of fear of them. We talked about her parents and how they're reacting. We talked about who she is, what I had seen in her that week that made me believe she had the courage deep inside to break free from him, and we brainstormed people in her life she could turn to for help with that. We talked about how God sees her, and what God wants for her in life. I watched a bit of hope and courage return to her eyes and posture. I heard her say "I want to be single, I want to know God more. I want to grow and be different." It was an incredible conversation, one I will carry with me for years. At the end she looked me in the eye and said "I know you've said you kind of want a baby boy, that you have a lot of nieces and think a boy would be a fun addition to the family, but Sarah, I really really hope you have a daughter. You would be such a good mom to a girl, and if I had a mom like you I might be in a really different place in life. I'm going to pray God gives you a girl. She'll be the luckiest girl ever." More tears. My heart aches for her. But I praise God for this divine appointment, for being in the right place at the right time. There were so many moments from this trip that brought joy, hope, and healing, but this conversation was probably the biggest one. I was reminded of what my husband tells me all the time--that we get to be pastors wherever we go, and we don't need a congregation to validate that calling with a paycheck to be an effective minister. It truly is an incredible calling, and this truly was an incredible week to be reminded of that.

Of course there were silly moments of the week--lots of games, dancing, singing, wake boarding, inner tubing, food, sun bathing, and general mayhem. But this year, I'll remember houseboats 2011 as the waters where my soul started to heal.