Sometimes, it's good just to laugh....

Chuck is in the middle of a 2 week class on the New Testament, and apparently today they covered 1 Timothy and Titus (among other things probably...) Anyway, when I came home he asked if I wanted to hear something, so he read me a hand out his prof had given them. I happened to find it fairly entertaining, so I thought I'd share it with all of you. It's kind of a mocking of why churches do not ordain women. Let me clarify that while I do strongly believe women should have equal access to all church roles that men do, I can understand why some denominations hold the views they do. So, I don't mean to be irreverent towards them, I just enjoy being able to laugh at random theological satires every now and then :). (this is to be read as a statement from a church on why they do not ordain women...)

An Obvious Application of Timothy and Titus to Ordination Issues

A denominational ordination policy of "Bible Strict Constructionists"

We have carefully studied passages of scripture on the tests of ordination and have developed our stance on ordination rooted in the clear teaching of the key passages of 1 Timothy 3 and Titus. We believe these passages are the Apostle Paul's best statements of who should be ordained and who is excluded so we have taken our stand honestly and forthrightly as follows:

• The plain words of scripture say "now the overseer must be...the husband of but one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2) and "an elder must be blameless" (Titus 6). So we simply do not ordain women for a woman obviously cannot be 'the husband of but one wife.'

• The plain words of scripture say "now the overseer must be...the husband of but one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2) and "an elder must be blameless" (Titus 6). So, we do not ordain singles or widowers, for they cannot be the 'husband of but one wife.'

• The plain words of scripture say "now the overseer must be...the husband of but one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2) and "an elder must be blameless" (Titus 6). So, we do not ordain divorced men or remarried men--for they cannot be 'the husband of but one wife.'

• The plain words of scripture say: "he must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect for if anyone does not know how to manage his own family how can he take care of God's church?" (1 Timothy 3:4-5) and "a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient" (Titus 6). So, we do not ordain married men without children, for if they have no children we cannot know if their children obey them. Indeed we do not ordain married men with children until the children are old enough to be able to rebel for only then would we know if their children obey them and these fathers are thus able to manage God's church. Further, we delay ordination for fathers until they have teens in their homes, for how can we know their children 'believe' as Titus calls for until the children are old enough to reject the faith?"

We recognize that these biblical positions are unpopular in a day when single people, childless couples, and women expect equal rights. But, we simply follow the plain teaching of Scripture--all of it. We refuse to consider these tests laden with cultural factors which allow some wiggle-room in the modern world. Thus we treat them as direct tests which come down to us 'as is' to be implemented exactly as they are clearly stated.

Not quite so easy to simply take these commands by the letter of the law now is it? Just found that entertaining enough to share with y'all :)

Taken from:

www.drurywriting.com/keith/women.timothy.titus.htm