Seven

Has anyone else read the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker?  This book is kind of un-doing me.  It's amazing.  I'm thinking about it all the time, I'm making my husband engage in long conversations about it while laying in bed, I'm texting him about it during the workday.  And I'm not even finished reading it (according to Kindle I'm 70% done...I don't know what the last 30% holds...probably more un-doing...)

Jen is the wife of a pastor, the mom of 5 kids, bible teacher, speaker and author.  And one day she decided she was overwhelmed with how far from Jesus' commands to live simply, love the poor, give away our possessions, love our neighbor, and take care of His creation they were.  After months of praying, brainstorming, and consulting with close friends, inviting them into this process with her, she came up with the idea of 7.  She chose 7 areas of life: clothing, spending, food, possessions, media, stress and waste and she and her family (to varying degrees) spent one month focused on each one.  Each month they made seven simple choices to simplify life in that area.  For instance, in the possessions month, as a family they gave away seven things a day every day for the 4 weeks.  For the media month, they chose 7 technological items to fast from (texting, internet--except for email as a communication tool--but no facebook!, video games, TV, radio, and two others I'm not remembering right now).  Her book is a very very funny recounting of their experiences each month along with a lot of very challenging thoughts on Jesus, on what he said about living and how he told us to live in this world.  She's hysterical, real, down to earth, and very honest about how hard some of these months were for her (especially the food month where she literally chose only 7 foods to eat all month.  Not 7 meals.  7 foods: eggs, chicken, avocado, sweet potatoes, apples, whole wheat bread, and spinach.  No butter, no condiments, no nothing, just those 7 foods--her kids didn't participate in that month with her and her husband by the way!)

As I read her accounts, I find myself hungering for more simplicity in our own lives.  So much so that I'm enlisting my husband to join me for the month of October on some of our own variations of 7.  No, we're not going to only choose 7 foods to eat, but I am choosing 7 dinners and will make only those 7 meals for the month.  No more spending time doing complicated menu planning or grocery shopping--just 7 favorite family meals for one month.  (for those who are curious, our 7 will be: Turkey Lettuce Wraps, Spaghetti with Turkey Meatballs, Crock Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup, Crock Pot BBQ Pulled Pork, BBQ Chicken Quesadillas, one night will be a freezer crock pot meal that is already in my freezer, and our Friday night date night will be a meal from Trader Joes--we love splitting their sushi and salads)  That's it, that's what we're eating this month, menu planning is done.  I know this isn't a revolutionary concept and many families do this, but we never have because I always say I love variety too much.  But I also love the idea of having more time to spend on things other than menu planning and grocery list making.  I am hungry for simplicity.

The other area Jen and her family simplified that has my attention was in regards to spending money.  It was not necessarily the amount of money they were spending each month (although she said she was disgusted at how they nickel and dimed themselves every month--$4 here, $3 there...) but it was more the sheer number of places they spent money.  She went through their credit card bills and counted the number of places that got their money each month, which inspired me to do the same.  It is nuts how many places we spend money that we really don't even think about!  I counted over 20 different vendors on each month's bill for the past couple months.  Her commitment for that month was to choose only 7 places they were allowed to spend money.  Normal bill paying didn't count--so Verizon and the power company still got paid but wasn't one of their 7.  But 7 stores.  That's it.  (Which prompted a hysterical scene when her 7th grader needed a hair cut but super cuts wasn't one of their 7...it involved her husband, a pair of clippers, and a very dramatic display of emotion on the part of her son...)  This was guaranteed to cut down on the frivolous "$3 here, $4 there" spending, and forced them to think through what their needs where and where they met those needs each month.

We've decided to try this.  We'll see how it goes.  We're taking inspiration from the Hatmaker family, we looked at their list of places they chose, and created our own list while laying in bed last night (seriously my husband will be glad when I'm done with this book and I can just let him go to sleep at night!)  Here's our list for the month:

1.  Trader Joes
2.  Sprouts (where I buy my produce and bulk food items like dried beans and quinoa at way less than any other grocery store has it)
3.  Mobile gas station (yup, gotta have a way to fill up the car throughout the month!)
4.  Ralphs (I contemplated not including this since I like Trader Joes and Sprouts way better, but it's literally a block from my house and to not include this seemed like a choice we'd really regret when we run out of milk at 7 AM.)
5.  Target (yes we realize you can buy everything at Target so it seems like a "cheater" choice, but it's on here as a last resort choice--ie: we run out of diapers or we need something for the car or a birthday gift for some upcoming birthdays)
6.  Freebirds Burritos.  Allow me to explain this one!  First, a huge part of my husband's job is meeting people for lunch or grabbing food with youth or volunteers.  To not have a local eating establishment on our list seemed unreasonable.  And second, our child goes to bed at 7, which means I can't leave the house after that usually.  One of the spontaneous dates Charles and I have always loved doing is the 9 PM food run (where we used to go together, but now I sit at home with the babe and he goes...)  So sometimes on days when he literally works a 13 hour day (ie: Sundays....), he'll stop by Freebirds after youth group and bring home chips and queso and we'll debrief the day together as our in home date.  We may be really sick of Freebirds after this month, but we both agreed it had to go on the list!
7.  Gayle's Perks Coffee Shop.  This one was a non-negotiable on my list.  It's a cute local coffee shop about 2 miles from our house, but it is my sanctuary.  I only get to go for about 2 hours each Friday morning when Charles is home with Aidan, but for those 2 hours I get to forget about being a mom, I get to write, I get to sip a latte and savor a yummy crepe for breakfast.  It's my date with myself, and these me-dates make me a way more relaxed Mommy!

There you have it.  Our list of 7.  We'll see how this goes.  We'll see what these choices do to our credit card bill this month, and what it does to our concept of necessities.  If we already have a gift card to somewhere, we are allowed to use that, but we aren't allowed to go over the limit of the card.  No more last minute run to Michaels for some random craft supply I really don't need.  No fast food runs, or trips to Home Goods or Carters or Babies R Us or other stores that sell all kinds of fun things that I'm not really sure I need.  It means Halloween costumes will need to come from our closets or be borrowed or Target if we're really desperate!  As we turn down other opportunities to spend money on things we really don't need, I'm hoping our attitude will be the same as that of Jen's daughter when they were forced to say no to dinner out with friends: "It's okay Mommy, we have a warm house to go home to, and food to eat there, and the people who live on the streets don't have any of those things.  We don't really need to go to a restaurant, it's okay."  Out of the mouths of babes....

Has anyone else read 7?  Has anyone else been inspired by this book to make any changes or simplify various areas of life?  I'd be curious to hear from you....does this sound insane?  A worthless experiment?  A meaningful spiritual discipline?  If anyone wants to join us in this experiment, let me know!

32 Books for my 32nd Year

We'll see if I can manage to read all this before next September with a VERY active little one!  I'm super excited about some of these selections though, and if it takes me longer than a year this time around, oh well, these should be worth it!  Thanks for the recommendations made by many of you!!

Contemporary Fiction:
1.  The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom
2.  Sister of my Heart by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
3.  The Sandcastle Girls by Chris Bohjalian
4.  The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman
5.  Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult

Children's & Young Adult Fiction:
6.  Dead End in Norvelt by Jack Gantos
7.  The Seven Wonders of Sassafrass Springs by Betty Birney
8.  The True Adventures of Homer P. Figg by Rodman Philbrick
9.  The Penderwicks on Gardam Street by Jeanne Birdsall
10.  Moon Over Manifest by Claire Vanderpool
11.  Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Theology:
12.  Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist (releasing April, 2013)
13.  Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
14.  Still by Lauren Winner
15.  A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans (releasing Oct. 2012)
16.  7 by Jen Hatmaker

Non Fiction/Parenting:
17.  And Baby Makes Three by John & Julie Gottman
18.  How do you Tuck in a Superhero and Other Delightful Mysteries of Raising Boys by Rachel Balducci
19.  The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
20.  Dinner, a Love Story by Jenny Rosenstarch
21.  Mom Connection: Creating Vibrant Relationships in the Midst of Motherhood by Tracey Bianchi (this year's MOPS theme book)

Book Club Selections:
22.  Gentlemen of the Road by Michael Chabon (October's selection)
23.  Wild by Cheryl Strayed (November's selection)
24.  Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon (January's selection)
25.  February's selection (yet to be determined)
26.  March's selection
27.  April's selection
28.  May's selection
29.  June's selection
30.  July's selection
31.  August's selection

Memoirs
32.  Seriously, I'm Kidding by Ellen Degeneres

31 Books for my 31st Year Recap

Here you go fellow readers!  My birthday is coming up this weekend which means it's the end of my yearly challenge, to read one book for every year of my life before my next birthday.  So, here are the 31 books I read this year (well, mostly...) and my thoughts about each.  If you're looking for some new recommendations I hope some of these might jump out to you!  Happy Reading!

Please Read this Book.  Please.  Tattoos on the Heart by Father Greg Boyle  I've known about this book for awhile, and have had a few people tell me I should read it, but it didn't seem like a book I thought I would be interested in.  Catholic Priest reflecting on his ministry to gang members in Los Angeles.  I wasn't sure about this one.  I was wrong...this is a book I wish every person would read, and let it challenge them.  The stories Father G tells are hysterical, heartbreaking, thought provoking, and will begin to tear down some of our assumptions and preconceived ideas of "homies."  He invites us to acknowledge that we as humans have  "forgotten that we belong to each other..." Father G spends this entire book subtly and sometimes not so subtly inviting us to see the value in every soul, to watch what happens when someone finally is told for the first time "you have worth, you have value."  He has spent over 20 years trying to help homies come to see their own sacredness.  He says "the world will throw at us what it will, and we cling to our own sacredness, and nothing can touch us.  But as I mentioned earlier, there is a lethal absence of hope in the gang member.  There is a failure to conjure up the necessary image that can catapult you into your future.  In fact, gang members form an exclusive club of young people who plan their funerals and not their futures."  His ministry and the creation of Homeboy Industries is incredible.  Please add this one to your reading list, I promise you won't be sorry you did!

Might Be One of My New Favorites:  Hotel on the Corner of Bitter & Sweet by Jamie Ford  I don't entirely know what it was about this book, but I loved it.  I can't tell if it was the story, the characters, the writing style or the setting (my beloved Seattle) that made me devour this story, but I could not put it down.  Set during WWII in the Northwest, it's a Romeo and Juliet story of a Chinese boy who falls in love with a Japanese girl--a girl bound for the internment camps in Idaho during the relocation efforts of that time.  The story takes you back and forth from 1986, when Henry is in his 50s to the war years when he's in 6th grade in short snippets which held my attention throughout.  I understand why this book got such rave reviews with book clubs around the country now, this might be my favorite book I read all year--at least in the fiction category!

Biggest Surprise of the Year:  Ready Player One by Ernest Cline  I am somewhat shocked I liked this book--I was told it was a sci-fi, futuristic book that centered around video games.  And I loved it. Which means Ernest Cline is a genius author and story-creator because I was hooked almost all the way through.  Granted there were times when a video game was being described that I felt my eyes glaze over a bit (mostly because, if you know me, you know that I despise video/computer/xbox/wii games.  Despise them.  Always have).  But on the whole this book is brilliant.  Set in America in 2044 it is part quest story, part love story, part adventure story.  High school senior Wade spends most of his life logged into the virtual world Oasis (he even attends virtual high school).  He's not the only one, most of America does as well since the real world has become such a horrible place to live.  When the uber billionaire creator of Oasis dies, instead of leaving his wealth to a family member, his will reveals the ultimate quest/contest to discover and figure out several riddles/puzzles/video games and the winner will inherit his fortune.  It's been years of people searching the Oasis for any hint of his clues and nothing is turned over.  Until Wade stumbles upon the first clue one day.  From then on life will never be the same for him or his friends who also are seeking the prized "easter egg" hidden somewhere in cyber space.  It's a fascinating look at virtual life verses real life and how relationships are formed in both places.  This was our September book club selection and I am so grateful they picked this because I never would have picked this one up on my own!  Thanks Julie! :)

Will Take You Back to Your Childhood Favorites:  The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdall  My friend Kimberlee is a very gifted writer and author and ... well ... a bit of a self professed children's literature snob. She refuses to allow poor quality kids books in her house, and her blog posts describing such books crack me up.  She also inspires me though, to find great books to read to my kids, and to always make family read aloud time a huge priority in the home.  She has raved about The Penderwicks on her blog more than once and so I decided I needed to see what this book was all about.  Oh my word.  It was fantastic.  It reminded me of every book I loved in my childhood all rolled into one delightful story.  It would be a perfect read aloud for a family with kids who are 6-10...but like Kimberlee says, even kids younger can enjoy this one--even without pictures.  It's going on my "to read as a family" list for sure!  A family of four girls and no mother go on a three week summer vacation with their loveable father and there they encounter a variety of wonderful characters.  Reading this book once again reminded me that reading children's literature is never a waste of time.  Even for grown ups. 

I Admit it, I didn't Finish This: The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss  This was one of those books that I assumed I should read because it is a classic.  Whatever that means.  I am coming to think that sometimes the term "classic" just means "written long ago" and has nothing to do with the quality of writing.  I would look at a book like To Kill a Mockingbird or Uncle Tom's Cabin or The Secret Garden and say "now those are classics--incredible pieces of literature."  My apologies to the family from Switzerland, but unless I am stranded on a desert island and need to know step by step instructions on how to build a bridge or a tree house or kill a variety of animals, I never want to pick this book up again.  I made it over half way through the book when I finally said one day "life is short.  This book is mind-numbing.  I'm moving on."  Long story short--family of 4 boys get shipwrecked onto an island and the father spends the next many years lecturing them on every plant, animal and survival method known to man.  The end.  (Okay, I don't know how it ends, but I stopped caring....)

Already Read it, and Loved it Again: The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver  This was our new book club's first book selection and so I reread it this past summer.  I loved it once again--especially Kingsolver's incredible gift of language and words.  She makes you feel like you are in Africa--you can literally taste the sweltering humidity--the oppression of the weather, just waiting for it to break and for rain to fall.  Authors who can transport me to another world so well amaze me.  I will say it was very fun to reread this and then talk about it with a group--things others did not like about this book had never occurred to me, so I very much appreciated hearing new perspectives.  A couple years ago I wrote a reflection on this book for my Company of New Pastor's group, so if you want to read more about this one, you can find that here. 

Also Not My New Favorite: Guide to Childbirth by Ina Mae Gaskin  I was looking for a book about childbirth to read this past fall and since this seems to be everyone's go-to recommendation I decided this must be the best one out there.  I already wrote a post back in November about why I didn't love this book, but in a nutshell I felt like she was really disrespectful towards the medical community in general.  I finished the book believing that if I didn't have my baby at a birthing center with midwives and no drugs then I was somehow less of a woman and was setting my child up for a terrible beginning in life.  Don't get me wrong, she shares some very powerful stories, but as I look back on my birth experience I am even more wary of this book.  I ended up with a c-section and it wouldn't have mattered what kind of birth I would have chosen, Aidan wasn't going to come out the "normal" way.  In fact without some incredibly talented and intelligent doctors and nurses my birth experience could have been a tragedy.  So I fear that some women may read this and assume a hospital birth will be terrible, and that's a message I'm wary of promoting.  Read this book if you'd like, but maybe balance it out with something else too!  

I'd Never Read One of These Before!  Parents Need to Eat Too by Debbie Koenig  I love cookbooks, but I've never read one from cover to cover before--like a novel!  I have now though!  This is a fantastic cookbook and would be a great gift for any new parents.  It's full of recipes broken into categories--meals you can prep in stages throughout the day as your baby takes his various naps, meals you can eat with one hand, meals that require almost no cooking so dad can prep them if dad is a total novice in the kitchen, meals that use the slow cooker, meals you can make in big batches for the freezer, and meals that are supposed to help increase milk supply in breastfeeding moms.  Peppered throughout the recipes are new mom tips, advice, information, and stories.  I loved it and a majority of the meals I've prepared for the past several months have come from these pages.  A great book if you need a new set of recipes!

I Wish This Existed When I was in 6th Grade: The Lightening Thief by Rick Riordan  I hang out with a lot of kids pretty often--nieces, a nephew, and many junior and senior high students--this book series (The Percy Jackson series) has been talked about and referenced quite a bit in the past few years.  So I decided to see what all the hype was about.  I was pleasantly surprised--this was a fantastic book.  It reminded me quite a bit of Harry Potter actually--written for the same general age group (7th-10th grades or so) and has similar themes.  Percy finds out he's the son of one of the Greek gods--who are not just myths, they actually exist and live on Mt Olympus--which is now located above New York City.  Percy ends up at summer camp with a bunch of other god's children and he is sent on a dangerous quest to find and return Zeus' lightening bolt which has been stolen.  It's a story of identity, adventure, mythology (you learn a TON about the Greek gods, which would have been so helpful when I studied mythology in junior high!) and friendship.  It's really well written and a lot funnier than I expected it to be.  Pick this up if you have a late elementary school aged child, or if you want to go on a grand adventure yourself!


The Sequel to The Lightening Thief: The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan  Riordan pulls out his humorous writing style again in this second book of the Percy Jackson series.  In the Sea of Monsters Percy and friends find their beloved camp being destroyed and end up on another quest to find the golden fleece, which is the one thing that has the power to save the camp.  It is well written, funny, adventurous, and he definitely does a good job making you want to pick up the next one in the series!

Another "Classic": East of Eden by John Steinbeck  I really liked this book, so much more than I was expecting to!  Steinbeck's work tends to be...well...depressing.  Most of his stories take place during the great depression and early 20th century in the Salinas Valley of California (a place I have loved for years and years).  I read a few of his works in high school and sort of liked them, but they weren't my favorite.  Over the years though I have had so many people recommend East of Eden to me that I had to give it a try.  It's a long book, it was a significant undertaking to start it, but I actually really enjoyed this one.  It was a very different tone than most of his others seem to be--much more of a sweeping family drama than a Great Depression story.  The biblical themes and allusions throughout the entire epic novel held my attention, and I enjoyed his creation of the various characters that carried through the story.  I think if I were to recommend Steinbeck to someone, I'd tell them to start here, with a drama that spans generations and decades, and that emphasizes themes of battles of good and evil within ourselves. 

She's Not Just a One-Hit Wonder: Shanghai Girls by Lisa See  Last year I read Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by the same author and LOVED it, so this year I dove into Shanghai Girls, another one of her well known books.  I could not put this down.  Something about See's writing style just captivates me.  I never thought I'd care that much for books about life in old China, but I cannot get enough of her writing.  I find myself transported to the scenes she describes, I fall in love with her characters, wanting the best for each of them in their lives, and am fascinated by the culture she brings to life.  Part of me really enjoyed this too because part of it takes place in Los Angeles, in Chinatown, years ago.  It was fun to hear my city described for how it used to be.  Two sisters from a wealthy family in China end up being sold essentially as mail order brides to a family in LA to pay off their father's gambling debt.  They experience life at the Angel Island Immigration station in San Francisco, and then eventually make their way to LA, where the life they had been promised via letters was not exactly what they found.  It's a story of unlikely love, family loyalty, clashes between generations, and scandal that is guaranteed to keep your attention and keep you turning pages.  

 Will Probably Keep You Laughing: Bossypants by Tina Fey

I have never been a huge Saturday Night Live fan, but when Tina Fey began impersonating Sarah Palin 4 years ago during the election season, I paid attention.  I thought she was hysterical--absolutely dead on in some of her impressions and the commentary they wrote for her absolutely cracked me up.  This is her story--told with her usual wit and humor, and it kept my attention throughout most of it.  Since I'm not a big SNL fan, there were parts of it that didn't necessarily keep me interested, but the majority of her book was well worth it.  Her commentary on what the media tells us women are supposed to have and be still makes me laugh.  "Now every girl is expected to have: caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a Californian tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine year old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits.  The person closest to achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.  Everyone else is struggling.  Even the yellowhairs who were once on top can now be found squatting to a Rihanna song in a class called Gary's Glutes Camp in attempt to reverse-engineer a butt.  These are dark times."

Most Inspiring and Encouraging: Mother Letters, compiled by Seth and Amber Haines  I honestly don't know how I ran across this e-book (it's only available for e-readers right now) -- probably reading someone's blog somewhere, but I am so glad I stumbled upon this treasure trove of words.  Amber is a stay at home mom and when her kids were very young she experienced what most of us do--discouragement, doubt, confusion, exhaustion.  For Christmas one year Seth put out an announcement somehow online, asking mothers from around the country to write letters to Amber to encourage her.  He was overwhelmed with the response.  They became inundated with letters--mothers sharing their struggles and stories and joys and pain.  Women sharing encouragement and women sharing their humor.  Heartbreaking stories from mothers in difficult seasons, uplifting stories reminding Amber what is truly important in life.  They compiled many of them into this e-reader and published it.  I decided to check it out and think this is a book I might re-read each year, just to keep me focused on what is truly important in mothering.  If you're a mom, or you know a mom, in the trenches raising little ones right now, down load this book for yourself or a friend.  I promise you'll be touched.  "Something happens the moment you become a mother.  The world becomes both more magical and more dangerous.  Your body and your mind seem to be overtaken or, at the least, temporarily occupied by someone else--and you forget the last time you went an hour without being grabbed, pulled, pushed or poked.  And completing a conversation or train of thought becomes as elusive as winning the lottery or a long bath.  It's no wonder you feel a little crazy.  But you're not.  Not really.  You've just joined the ranks of the sane but sleepy, rational but emotional, steady but sensitive women who--no matter their different life situations or brand of crazy but not crazy--call themselves mothers."

Best Historical Fiction: Molokai by Alan Brennert  This was our book club's selection for the month of July, and I am so glad I was introduced to this one!  Alan Brennert is a phenomenal author--so so talented at painting pictures with words, exceptional at crafting a story that one does not want to put down.  Set in Hawaii in the early 20th century and spanning decades to post WWII, Molokai is the story of the leper colony that actually existed on the Hawaiian island of Molokai.  Back then people did not know how leprosy was contracted, they believed it to be highly contagious through casual contact, so if a person in the Hawaiian islands was diagnosed, they were immediately sent to the island of Molokai to live out the rest of their lives there, with a community of other lepers.  Seven year old Rachel is diagnosed with leprosy and is taken from her family and sent to Molokai where she encounters a cast of delightful, eccentric, extremely loving characters who, over the years, become her 'ohana...her family.  This book will make you chuckle and tear up on more than one occasion.  A must read in my opinion!  Thank you Jill!!

The Book that Saved Us:  The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp  We had this book recommended to us by friends a few months before Aidan was born, so I ordered it and we slowly started making our way through it (it's not hard to read at all, we were just reading it aloud together and didn't have much time to do so this past fall with moving twice...!) About a week before Aidan arrived I visited a friend in Thousand Oaks and she happened to have a DVD that goes along with this book--we weren't even aware one such DVD existed!  She insisted we take it home and watch it.  So, the night before my due date, with my mom, husband and I all hanging out wondering when this little person would arrive we popped the DVD in.  Oh my word.  We are grateful we did!  I went into labor late that night after watching this and out came our little high maintenance baby who required a LOT of soothing in his early months.  This book goes over 5 S's of baby soothing (swaddling, swinging motion, side position, sound--white noise--and sucking) and each one of them worked like a charm for Aidan--often he required 4 of the 5.  It's funny how many other friends have read this book and learned the 5 S's and used them with their newborns with great success.  If you are about to have your first baby, you need to read this book!  I promise, it may save you!  

When Your Favorite Blog Becomes a Book: Evolving in Monkey Town by Rachel Held Evans  Okay, she may not be my very favorite blogger, but she's in my top 5 for sure!  Rachel grew up in Dayton, TN, the town made famous by the Scopes Trials (Darwin vs. Creationism).  Her experience with the church was that of pretty extreme fundamentalism growing up, and this is a book of her story--her evolution if you will, to embracing a Christianity that is not quite as black and white as she was always led to believe.  I loved this book.  I love her writing, her story, her honesty, and her ability to be okay with questions.  "Christianity never could have survived the ebb and flow of time, much less its own worldwide expansion, had God not created it with the innate ability to adapt to changing environments."

 My Favorite Baby Sleep Book of the Year: The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley  I really liked this book.  I had read parts of or all of various books on babies and sleep and when I finally stumbled upon this one on a friend's blog, I immediately ordered it.  Even as I read the first chapter I could feel myself relax.  I haven't been interested in letting Aidan just cry it out to sleep yet, I am sure I will get there, but not while he's so little.  This book has great ideas of baby steps and things to work on to help them learn to sleep better without just letting them cry.  It's designed for people who have all kinds of sleeping arrangements and issues--and she deals a lot with breast feeding and co-sleeping training--how to gently help your baby learn to go to sleep without nursing or in their own bed.  She offers a ton of suggestions and then lets you pick and choose to create your own sleep plan for your family.  I love the openness and flexibility she approaches sleep with, stressing how what works for one family won't work for another.  Definitely a great sleep book!

Made Me Super Excited for our Christmas Vacation!  Honolulu by Alan Brennert  After I read Molokai I knew I wanted to pick up Brennert's other book because his writing is just that good.  This is the historical fiction account of Jin, a "picture bride" (think mail order bride) from Korea who lands in Honolulu and comes face to face with a reality that is vastly different than the one she was promised by her husband.  It's her story of strength, community, and tenacity as she is determined to create a life for herself that is wonderful.  The telling of what Hawaii was like around the time the US was acquiring the land is fascinating, and I can't wait to go back to Honolulu this December to see if I see any remnants of the life Brennert described.  This is definitely a great read.

Best Baby Feeding Book:  Child of Mine by Ellyn Satter  This book was given to me by a family friend who is a dietician.  She says this is her gift to every new mom, and it is definitely a great resource!  It is all about babies, kids and feeding them, but she talks about a lot more than just the what and the how.  It's a lot about the relationship between children and food, and how to go about creating a positive foundation for them when it comes to eating.  It is the kind of book you read in stages as your child approaches each new phase of life, and I wish I had read the portion on breast feeding before Aidan's arrival--rather than frantically searching through this book after he arrived and I wondered if there were problems with his feeding!  I would absolutely recommend this to anyone who is about to have a little one! 

Most Intriguing: Songs of the Gorilla Nation by Dawn Prince-Hughes This is a book I never would have picked up on my own, it was our August book club selection, and that's what I love about book clubs--they invite me to read things I normally would not!  This is an autobiography written by a woman who has Aspbergers Syndrome but is not diagnosed until later in life.  It's a fascinating look at what life is like for someone who knows they are different but doesn't understand why.  She describes her thought processes in various parts of her life, and chronicles how she goes about figuring out her diagnosis and then how she copes and goes on to live a very full "normal" life.  One day she was walking through Woodland Park Zoo (yup, it takes place in my beloved Seattle!) and is captivated by the gorillas.  She ends up spending literally thousands of hours sitting on a bench over the next few years watching them interact and live their lives.  The observations, connections, and insights Dawn has into human behavior from watching the gorillas is fascinating.  She ended up learning all about how "normal" humans interact from watching the gorillas interactions and interpreting their behavior.  This might not be my new favorite book but it was really interesting and if you know anyone in your life who does have Aspbergers this would be an extremely helpful read!

Made Me Laugh Out Loud (more than once!): Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott  I'll start out with a warning.  If you have read anything by Anne Lamott and you didn't like it, you won't enjoy this book.  However if you enjoyed her other writing, you'll love this book.  I read this when Aidan was about 6 months old and it was the perfect time to pick this up.  If I had done so before he was born it wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining I am sure!  But once you've walked through the incredible sleep deprivation, the agony of colicky crying, and the diaper blow outs when you're trying to get the kid strapped into his car seat...well you'll appreciate this book!  She tells funny anecdotes and stories about their first year as a mother-son duo, with moments of wisdom and life lessons thrown in.  She's crass, does not censor her language at all, is incredibly vocal about her dislike of republicans, and describes some of the moments of early motherhood so perfectly it's amazing.  

A Beautiful Story from a Beautiful Friend: The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon  This was a gift from my good friend Missy and was one of the first books I read this past year.  I really loved this story.  It's the account of Lynnie, a young woman with a developmental disability and Homan, an African American man who is blind.  They are desperately in love and escape from the institution they are locked away in.  They find refuge in a woman's farmhouse where Lynnie gives birth to a baby girl.  The authorities from the institution are looking for them, and catch Lynnie, but Homan escapes.  Their baby is hidden by the woman at the farmhouse and thus begins the 40 year epic journey of each of these characters.  There are many ups and downs, and some may find parts of this book full of despair, but I found it to be a page turner that absolutely kept my attention as I loved each of these characters!  

Not My New Favorite: The Heroine's Bookshelf: Life Lessons from Jane Austen to Laura Ingalls Wilder by Erin Blakemore This book had so much potential in my mind!  The idea was super creative.  What Blakemore was trying to do was pair female authors with their most well known literary heroines--Jo March, Scout Finch, Laura Ingalls, Scarlet O'Hara etc and discuss the character's central quality or characteristic.  She then tells some of each author's own life story and discusses the connections between their literary characters and their own lives, all the while circling a central theme for each pair.  For instance Anne Shirley's central characteristic is "irrepressible happiness" and Scarlet O'Hara's is "fight."  Parts of each chapter were really interesting, especially some of the author's own stories and how their lives inspired the lives of the characters they created, but on the whole I found the book to be a bit dry, a bit dull.  So out of my list this year, I'm not sure this is one I'd be whole-heartedly recommending.

Loved Her Last Year, Loved Her This Year, Counting the Days Til Book 3: Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist  I'll admit it, I think I have a teensy crush on Shauna Niequist.  I love her books.  I fell in love with her book Bittersweet last year, and then read Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life this year.  What I love about Shauna's books is that each chapter is a stand alone essay on a moment in her life--a conversation, an event, a dinner party, a vacation, a wedding she attended...and she just has this amazing gift of pulling something thoughtful out of the most ordinary moments in life and then writes about them beautifully.  My very favorite chapter in this book is her reflections on being a high school girl's small group leader, and what she learned from being with those girls.  Hearing her describe that is beautiful to me.  This is a long quote (I really wanted to type the whole chapter...so this is me cutting...) but I love this:  "When I think about how God made us to live, when people talk about true community or true intimacy, I think of them, this lovely, bizarre group of teenage girls who came over unannounced and never left when they were supposed to, who let me into their fears and their secrets, and cared about my fears and my secrets.  They loved me with a force that I think only comes with youth, a wide and fierce and expressive force, and I loved them with that same love, because being with them let me live like I was young.  They uncovered something good in me that had started to get crusted over by grown up life and dress pants and mortgage payments.  They taught me more than I ever taught them, and they gave me more than I ever gave them, and the best things they gave to me were ten gorgeous examples and all the permission in the world to love with that wide-open love, unmeasured and uncalculated, like a puppy in a box with all her puppy-friends, right up close to them, feeling warm and safe."  Shauna's new book Bread and Wine: Finding Community and Life Around the Table  comes out in April and is bound to be beautiful--a book of recipes and reflections about family relationships and friendships and the meals that bring us together.  

The Book that Challenged Me and Changed Me: Half the Sky--Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn I think out of all the books I read this year, this is the one that would win "Most Important" to me.  This book matters to our world, and has inspired people to do incredible things to begin addressing the plight of thousands and thousands of women in countries where they have no voice.  The main thesis of this book that the authors put forth (who won the Pulitzer prize for their journalistic work on this book by the way) is that if we can educate a girl, entire societies can change. The United Nations Development Program summed up the research that is mounting worldwide about this as "Woman's empowerment helps raise economic productivity and reduce infant mortality. It contributes to improved health and nutrition. It increases the chances of education for the next generation."  I wrote a lot about this book when I finished reading it last fall, it really impacted me, and if you want to read more of those thoughts you can find them here.  Please add this one to your reading list if you haven't already!  

Definitely Should Have Done This With a Small Group: The Good and Beautiful Life by James Bryan Smith  I really love Smith's works--I was introduced to his book The Good and Beautiful God a couple years ago and found it to be incredibly impactful for me as I wrestled with my image of God.  I taught a 12 week sunday school class on it last year at our church in seattle for a group of adults and all of them really loved the book too.  This is the second in his trilogy if you will, and really are meant to go through in a small group setting.  I read this on my own and did not get nearly as much out of it as I did the first book which I went through two different times with different groups.  If you're looking for small group ideas, these books would be awesome!

Another Helpful Sleep Book: The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight I read a lot of sleep books this year.  I didn't even include them all on this list!  This is one that was given to me by a friend and I really enjoyed.  Aidan was a bit young to really implement many of her ideas when I read the book, and now I'm sleep deprived enough I can't remember much of what she suggested, but it's one I want to pick up again now that he's older.  Her approach is gentle and gradual, and, like the No Cry Sleep Solution, requires diligence from parents as they slowly train their child to sleep on their own.  Another great resource for parents if you're looking for a baby sleep book!

Should be Required Reading in Seminary: The Pastor by Eugene Peterson  I didn't totally know what to expect with this one, but I love Peterson's work and had been eyeing this book for a couple years now.  I'll admit that parts of this book may not have struck me as entirely relevant, but this memoir of Peterson's 30 years in pastoral ministry is exceptionally rich and incredibly profound in many parts.  In a world where so many pastors are concerned with church growth, numbers, being 'relevant' and getting things done, the prophetic voice of Eugene Peterson is needed all the more.  He reminds pastors their job is to listen to Jesus.  To go to scripture on behalf of their congregation week after week, and bring back to them the word of God.  He spends a lot of time talking about the creation of a pastoral identity, something I think is not talked about enough on seminary campuses--what does it mean to be a pastor?  Peterson is a mentor of my favorite pastor, and it was fun reading this book because I kept thinking "oh so that's where Dan gets it!"  If you're in seminary and you haven't read this book, I'd add it to the list! (Not that you need another book to add to a list in seminary....)  

More of a Reference than a "Read Straight Through" book: The Family Nutrition Book by Dr. Bill Sears  I really like the Sears family's books and resources on parenting.  Their Baby Book is my favorite go-to reference book for random things I want to look up, and this book caught my attention at a store one day.  Packed with great nutrition tips and information on anything related to food and nutrition for infants through adolescents, this is a great resource to have on hand.  Like all the rest of their books this one is incredibly easy to read and practical.  

The I'm Only Half-way Done Award: The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman  I haven't finished this book yet, but I will in the next week or so.  I am still not entirely sure what I think of this one yet.  Set in WWII, it's the true story of a couple who ran the Warsaw Zoo when the Germans attacked Poland and devastated it.  They used the zoo to then hide hundreds of Jewish people throughout the Nazi occupation of Poland.  I love that it's a true story, but for some reason I'm having a tough time really getting into this one.  I think it might be the writing style, it's being written almost like it's a report of what happened rather than a story if that makes any sense.  We'll see how the rest of it turns out!

How do you do that?

"How do you do it?" The question was posed to me this week by the gentleman scanning my produce at the local grocery store.  He looked at Aidan and looked back at me and said "How do you do it?"  I was a bit perplexed and asked what he was referring to and he said "being a mom.  Moms amaze me.  I have no idea how on earth my wife does what she does--I have no idea how you do what you do to be a mom, but I am so grateful for women like you who are doing their best to be great moms."  Not your typical grocery store small talk, but this middle aged gentleman with dark skin, salt and pepper hair, and a beautiful Latino accent spoke these words of blessing over me as I fumbled with my purse and tried to keep the credit card machine out of my squirmy baby's hands.  He put words to the question which has been rolling around in my head a lot lately.  How do I do this? Do I have what it takes to raise this little person?

I never really thought that hard about becoming a mom.  You get married, you have a baby or two or three and eventually you wind up driving a carpool to some field trip somewhere.  Right?  When Aidan was born I was thrust into the world of motherhood head first, but was so focused on trying to merely survive the many many many months of sleepless nights and long fussy days that there was not much time, energy or brain power left for reflecting on this new role I found myself in.  It was all about survival.  Back in June I had the privilege of seeing one of my closest friends for an afternoon.  She has three kids of her own, with a fourth on the way, and is hands down one of the absolute best moms I have ever seen in my life.  I've said to my husband so many times how in awe I am of her--of her patience, her love, her ability to discipline and shape her kids with gentleness and words and her ability to maintain a level head in the midst of newborn and toddler chaos.  One of the things she said to me that has stayed with me these past three months is that she loves all her kids so passionately, but recognizes that "there is just something about that oldest kid--because they are the one who makes you a mom, they are the one who has pushed you to your limit of exhaustion, love, and patience, for the first time and who has shown you that you can do it, that you DO have what it takes to be a mom."

"How do you do it?"  I don't know.  There are days when, if I am truly honest, I might be tempted to say this is really really hard and I kind of want my old life back.  I'd never trade this little guy for anything, but there are times when I really would just rather get to go do something fun with friends without worrying about how long I've been gone and if he's hungry and needs to eat or needs help getting to sleep.  I'd love to sleep through the night, heck I'd love to sleep a 3-4 hour stretch without interruption!  Being a stay at home mom is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.  Hands down.  Give me my Hebrew class to study for any day, that was a piece of cake.  It can be extremely isolating at times, and I often have to be intentional about getting out and seeing people or making play dates for us (which is getting easier as Aidan gets older).  It can be so easy to slip into a pity party at times--poor me, my baby doesn't sleep well, poor me I never get to see friends, poor me I'm lonely and bored a lot of the time.  But then, I look at my son--I mean I really look at him and every single time I do God smacks me on the head with the realization that I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about.  I have a beautiful, healthy, incredibly curious, strong, adventurous and giggly baby boy.  I did nothing to deserve him.  He's amazing.  When so many hearts ache with infertility issues, news of birth defects, and time in NICUs, I have an incredible gift right in front of me, one I never want to take for granted, and I am so grateful to people in my life who remind me what a privilege it is to be doing what I'm doing.  I have the rest of my life to use that degree I worked for, to pursue full time employment.  I have such short years with this little one here in my home, I don't want to miss a minute of it.  And I want to experience it all with pure joy.  Sometimes that might be a sleep-deprived haze to that joy, but I want to be a mom full of joy.

Rejoice, give thanks in all things...

The Things I Don't Do

A year ago a good friend of mine introduced me to the book Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist.  It had been an incredibly bittersweet year for us and   Kelli was convinced I needed to read this book.  As I mentioned in my recap of books I read last year, this book felt like my new best friend.  I loved this book.  One of my favorite chapters is one entitled The Things I Don't Do, and is one that has been rolling around in my head a lot lately.  In a lot of ways, I love being a stay at home mom for this season.  I love being able to devote my time and attention to our little one and to creating a clean and comfortable home for us.  However, I am starting to realize that this phase of life is beginning to bring back the perfectionism monster that resides below the surface of my heart.  I find myself putting a ton of pressure on poor little me to make sure I am super productive each and every day, and to make sure my house is always clean by the end of each day, a hot meal is on the table, and to do all those other things I perceive homemakers are supposed to do.

I found myself reaching for my underlined copy of Bittersweet again last night, opening to this chapter, and asking myself "what are the things I want to do with my life?  And what are the things I'm okay with not doing so I can do the things I want to do?"  Shauna explains that she struggled with the same thing--trying to do it all to the best of her ability until she ran herself into the ground.  One day she made a list of the things she is okay admitting she does not do and a list of the things she wants to do well in her life.  I think we all struggle with this--we all struggle with trying to do just a little bit more, and very rarely in our world are we given permission to say "no" to something.  I think the list of things we don't do might change during different seasons of life, but as I've been reflecting on this particular season of life with a husband who works extremely long hours in youth  ministry and a baby who doesn't nap well, I'm coming to a place where I can admit there are things I don't do.  I share these only to help encourage others who might be feeling overwhelmed with the mental to do lists that rule their lives.  It's okay to say no to some things to help make the things we do in life even more meaningful and richer.  Here is what I've said no to for the time being.

**I don't file or paint my nails or give myself manicures.  I know that sounds so silly, but I always look at my nails and think "I should file them or shape them or paint them" and then I never do and they always look terrible waiting for me to do something with them until I finally cut them and begin the whole process all over again.  The other day I started painting my nails and got interrupted by a little one and have now been walking around for 3 days with three painted nails and seven unpainted.  I just need to admit it, I don't do my nails and I'm okay with that.

**I don't make my own eco-friendly homemade cleaners.  I'd love to be one of those uber-green moms, but I can't be right now.  I use my clorox wipes and Simple Green and Scrubbing Bubbles and Windex and for now, that has to be okay with me.  Pinterest would like me to believe this makes me a royal failure as a homemaker, but I refuse to believe that.  I do make a bunch of my own baby food but it's not all organic produce and I still buy about half of the food Aidan eats.  And I'm okay with that.

**I don't decorate for holidays.  I haven't for several years.  I may bring out a holiday scented/colored candle, and I may display Christmas Cards, but in our tiny, over-crowded apartment the amount of stuff I'd have to pack away to make room for holiday decor is overwhelming to me, so for now, I don't decorate and I need to be okay enjoying other's decorations.

**I don't do my hair in any way other than blow drying and curling it.  I don't use bobby pins or practice with cute twists or updos.  I never have, and I have to say I probably never will.  I also don't own lipstick.  Give me chapstick any day.

**I don't iron.  Or sew.  At all.  I literally haven't ironed since I was in high school and my mom made me learn how.  If something is remotely wrinkled I will hang it in the shower or use wrinkle release spray or put something back in the dryer but I will not iron and don't tend to buy clothes that need to be ironed.  All my husband's shirts are no-wrinkle shirts and that is good enough for me.

**I don't hand wash anything.  If I happen to own anything that says hand wash only, I'll put it in the machine on delicate or take it to the cleaners, but I don't hand wash things.

**I don't have perfectly hung photos on my walls--they're almost all slightly crooked--and other than family photos I don't have art in my home.  I kind of wish I did, but we don't have the money for it now and I don't stress about the fact that some walls are empty.  Someday they will be filled, but it may be a lot of somedays from now.

**I can't keep up with pop culture. I wish I could, but I just can't.  I've never seen Dancing with the Stars or the Amazing Race in it's entirety.  I don't watch The Office or 30 Rock or Modern Family even though I know I'd enjoy them.  The Biggest Loser is the only "elimination show" I can seem to follow for a whole season.  I don't recognize most of the bands on the radio and I probably have not seen the latest movies--someday I will via netflix, but it probably won't happen in a theater.  I haven't eaten at the most trendy LA restaurants, I frequent the same comfort spots over and over again--Stonefire Grill, Chipotle, Cheesecake Factory and California Pizza Kitchen.

Looking at this list, I know there are other things I don't do that aren't coming to my mind right now.  It also looks really negative.  All these "I don'ts..."  But then I remember what it is that I do devote my time to doing.  And it helps to put things in perspective.

I do talk to my parents and sister at least every other day.  They live really far away and I will always stay in close contact with them and make time to skype with them and their kids as much as I can.

I do send real birthday cards to friends, not e-cards.

I do spend hours and hours playing on the floor with my little boy.  Sometimes I feel like I am not accomplishing anything, until I walk in and he smiles at me and I know what I'm accomplishing is creating a bond there that means the world to both of us.

I do clean my house.  a lot.  Because I know it lowers my stress level and helps me focus on other things when my space is free of clutter and mess.

I do read every single day.

I do cook homemade meals for my family, although these days that involves almost exclusively the crock pot.  But I'm okay with that, it's easy and do-able for me with my child that does not nap.

I do read blogs because I want to write a book one day and reading them helps keep me inspired.

I do try to be available for my husband when he needs me--to bring him lunch to work or listen when he needs to process his day.

I do take a lot of photos and digitally scrapbook them into albums because preserving and telling my family's story matters so much to me.

I do take naps because I realize how much happier I am with sleep, and my little one still wakes me up 3-4 times a night.  So when he does nap, I generally lay down too for a little bit.

In a world that seems to be driven by the tyranny of the urgent, I think it's okay to have these lists in our heads to help us weigh decisions we need to make about how we spend our time.  How about you?  What are the things you are okay admitting you don't do in order to create space in your life for other things?