And Then What, American Church?

This morning I wanted to share a (lengthy) excerpt from the book I wrote about last week--7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker.  I found myself underlining the beginning of this passage and then kept underlining and then realized I loved this entire section.  I was so challenged by it, so hit by these words.  This week my husband is teaching the confirmation class on "What is the Mission of the Church?" and so we've been talking about that and thinking about that a lot lately and then I came across this.  I'm not going to offer commentary (it's long enough as it is) but I invite you to read her thoughts on the church.  Lets be bold enough to ask ourselves "have we strayed away from the mission of the church?  Are we spending too much time focused on "serving the saved" as she says?"  (Always a tricky, sticky question since it's the "saved" the give the money to keep our churches going...)  I'm not some crazy fanatical person who is criticizing the Church, I just am a reader and lover of powerful words, and these words struck me.  So I wanted to share.  So here's your food for thought this week...

Taken from 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker

"What would the early church think if they walked into some of our buildings today, looked through our church Websites, talked to an average attender?  Would they be so confused?  Would they wonder why we all had empty bedrooms and uneaten food in our trash cans?  Would they regard our hoarded wealth with shock?  Would they observe orphan statistics with disbelief since Christians outnumber orphans 7 to 1?  Would they be stunned most of us don't feed the hungry, visit the prisoner, care for the sick or protect the widow?  Would they see the spending on church buildings and ourselves as extravagantly wasteful while 25,000 people die every day from starvation?  

I think they'd barely recognize us as brothers and sisters.  If we told them church is on Sundays and we have an awesome band, this would be perplexing to them.  I believe we'd receive dumfounded stares if we discussed "church shopping" because enough people don't say hello when we walk in the lobby one hour a week.  If they found out one-sixth of the earth's population claimed to be Christians, I'm not sure they could reconcile the suffering happening on our watch while we're living in excess.  They'd wonder if we had read the Bible or worry it had been tampered with since their time. 

But listen Early Church, we have a monthly event called Mocha Chicks.  We have choir practice every Wednesday.  We organize retreats with door prizes.  We're raising three million dollars for an outdoor ampitheater.  We have catchy T-shirts.  We don't smoke or say the F word.  We go to Bible study every semester.  ("And then what American Church?") Well, we go to another one.  We're learning so much.

I think the early church would cover their heads with ashes and grieve over the dilution of Jesus' beautiful church vision.  We've taken His Plan A for mercy to an injured lost planet and neutered it to a clever sermon series and Stitch-and-Chat in the Fellowship Hall, serving the saved.  If the modern church held to its biblical definition, we would become the answer to all that ails society.  We wouldn't have to baby-talk and cajole and coax people into our sanctuaries through witty mailers and strategic ads; they'd be running to us.  The local church would be the heartbeat of the city, undeniable by our staunchest critics.  

Instead, the American church is dying.  We are losing ground in epic proportions.  Our country is a graveyard of dead and vanishing churches.  We've made it acceptable for people to do nothing and still call themselves Christians, and that anemic vision isn't holding.  

Women Hold Up Half the Sky

There's been a theme that has popped up in my life over and over again in this past year, and I'm not sure what to do with it. It began in January when I had a delightful and leisurely lunch date with my good friend Kelli in LA. She had come up to Pasadena to say goodbye before we moved to Seattle, and we found ourselves talking at length about the California Women's Conference that Maria Shriver organized. Kelli had the opportunity to attend in Oct. of 2010 and she told me story after story of incredible people who came to share their stories, experiences, and passion for seeing women around the world rise up, be given an education, be empowered to say no to sex slavery, have access to basic health care, and begin taking leadership in every area of society. She heard from women such as Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsberg about their experiences of rising to two of the highest positions in our country during an era that was skeptical about women in that type of leadership. She learned about the battles they had to fight along the way, the injustices they encountered because of their gender. Kelli heard from Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, Lisa Leslie, and a gentleman named Nick Kristof who co-wrote the book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. I was fascinated. I had no idea a conference such as this existed, and that people around the world really were still fighting for women. And honestly, I really didn't realize just how badly women in some places in this world need people to be fighting for them.

I moved to Seattle and we were thrown into 6 months of chaos where all I really thought about was how to keep my husband a teensy bit sane. I didn't really have energy for thinking, reading, or much else. Then, in May I found out I was pregnant and began learning about the nutrition I needed, the amount of water I should be drinking, the prenatal vitamins that would give my baby the extra vitamins he needed (okay, I knew enough to start taking these a few months before we started trying for a baby, so I already had this one under control), and the prenatal care I would be receiving through my health insurance. I realized how easy it all was. When I was hungry, I had a plethora of healthy options for snacks in my fridge. When I was thirsty (which I was ALL the time in the first few months), I had access to unlimited amounts of clean, filtered water. Because I had been taking prenatal vitamins for several months before trying to conceive, I knew that my baby's chances of having spina biffida from a lack of folic acid in my body were drastically lower than other women worldwide. I started feeling like this wasn't really fair, this wasn't right. Of course I was so grateful to have these resources readily available to me, but there were a few nights I sat down to dinner with tears in my eyes thinking of women who were just as pregnant, just as exhausted as I was having to walk miles for buckets of water to quench their thirst, and then haul them back to the house. Our baby was a conscious choice for us--sure he came along a bit faster than we expected, but we knew that financially we could care for him, and we were intentional about deciding we wanted to begin trying for a family. Thousands of women worldwide are pregnant with their 5th or 6th child because of gang rape, or because of complete lack of access to birth control or family planning education. I don't believe any child is a mistake, but I do realize there are hundreds of thousands of families worldwide struggling to feed the mouths they have, let alone provide for new ones. The injustice of all of this has hit me powerfully these past 7 months, and in the midst of this is when I picked up this book Kelli so highly recommended and dove into trying to understand what women were facing worldwide, and how to best empower them.

Half the Sky is a book everyone needs to add to their reading list, but instead of just adding it to our reading lists, we need to let this book change us. We need to begin opening our eyes to the plight of girls and women worldwide. This isn't just a question of whether we think women should be allowed to lead in government or politics or churches, these are life and death issues that face our sisters around the world. The number of women (and really, girls as young as 12) who die from malnutrition, childbirth, AIDS, who are sold into brothels to pay back the debts their family has incurred, is staggering. With the advent of the ultra sound, in several countries where families are struggling to survive, if they find out the baby is a girl they will abort her because she is deemed to be less valuable to the family. (One person Kristof and WuDunn interviewed joyfully exclaimed to them that "we don't have to have daughters anymore!") Girls are disappearing worldwide, in some countries only counting for 100 births to every 120 boys born (girls are either aborted or left to die upon birth because a family has "no use" for them). If that doesn't cause us outrage I have to wonder what in the world will??

The complete lack of voice and power women in some countries have is devastating to their societies. And it doesn't have to be that way! The main thesis of this book that Nicolas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn (who won the Pulitzer prize for their journalistic work on this book by the way) put forth is that if we can educate a girl, entire societies can change. The United Nations Development Program summed up the research that is mounting worldwide about this as "Woman's empowerment helps raise economic productivity and reduce infant mortality. It contributes to improved health and nutrition. It increases the chances of education for the next generation." If girls could be kept in school, it's been proven that pregnancy rates drastically fall, and when a girl does marry and have children those children are taught to read and do basic math (since the moms are the ones raising the kids in the home), and those who are able to read have a much better chance of finding access to some other type of income for their families other than selling themselves. Just the pure act of being educated empowers girls to find their voices, to stand up to family members who try and insist on their being sold into marriage with men three times their age. Research is finding that there is a direct correlation between countries that nurture terrorists and those where women are most marginalized. The reason there are so many Muslim terrorists has little to do with the Koran (if you've read the Koran you know Islam is actually a peaceful religion) but rather it has a great deal to do with the lack of robust female participation in Islamic countries. In fact as our own Pentagon has gained a deeper understanding of counterterrorism, it has become increasingly interested in the grassroots projects such as girls' education. Empowering girls, some in our military would argue, would at least in part, disempower terrorists. We talk a lot about national security around here, what would happen if we put some of our energy into raising the standard of living for women and girls (and thus by default the boys born into those countries) in the countries we deem to be the greatest threats to the US at least just a little?

I don't think this is an issue our churches can continue to ignore. What I loved about this book is that its not hard to read. It's not super academic in style, it's full of individual women's stories, and stories of communities changed because of one young woman being empowered somehow. And there is an entire chapter on "how can we help?" with super practical ways--letter writing to our politicians who get to vote on international spending as well as including huge lists of organizations that are all doing something overseas surrounding the issues women face that we can partner with. I'm planning on starting to figure out the whole letter writing thing--what a simple thing we can all do from home to start urging members of our own government to begin paying more and more attention to what's happening worldwide. I wonder what would happen if a woman's ministry program at a church jumped on board with one of these organizations instead of planning another fashion show or movie night? What would happen if groups of women here in America read this book and decided to act? I'm ready to find out. Grab this book, read it, and pass it on to a friend. Our sisters around the world need someone to start advocating for them.

The Mommy Wars

One of my favorite bloggers, Rachel Held Evans, commented in a post one day that it's not really the kids themselves that make her the most nervous about parenting some day, it's the moms. I've felt this way for awhile as over the years I've spent much time browsing the web, reading blogs, seeing facebook comments, and even engaging in conversations with people, but now that I am about to be a mom myself, I find myself downright terrified of being subjected to the "mommy wars" that rage viciously around our society.

It used to be that the main battle women seem to face off over is working moms vs. stay at home moms. Turn on any Oprah re-runs or Dr. Phil episode and you can probably see remnants of this debate still echoing. Now though, thanks to the invention of the internet and the blogosphere, Mommy Wars are raging all over the place over birth plans/methods (hospitals vs. home, epidurals vs. natural), breast feeding vs. bottle feeding, cloth vs. disposable diapering, to vaccinate kids vs. to not vaccinate kids. You name it, women are talking about it. Oftentimes rather viciously. Men tend to (wisely) stay out of these conversations, but oh my word! Women, we can be so vicious to one another! Even on Christian sites I've seen conversations and comments that lean in the direction of "this is the right choice, if you choose differently you're endangering your child, hindering their chances in life, and are thus a bad parent."

I'm not that pregnant, I'm not showing to the point of being randomly stopped by strangers to ask when I'm due (although I am told that is coming!) But already I have been the recipient of the following comments--both from people I know, and a few from strangers (who boldly asked if I was pregnant!):

*"Are you planning on cloth diapering?"

*"I can't believe you're following all these rules from your doctor--in my day we drank caffeine, ate lunch meat, drank wine, and our kids are fine!"

*"Do you guys have a birth plan yet? Are you going to get an epidural?"

*"You are planning on breast feeding right?"

*"Have you decided what you're going to do about vaccinating your kids?"

*"I only let my toddler eat things that are organic, and I'm sure you'll want to do the same someday." (Really?? This person had known me for less than a month and was SURE I am going to make the same choice?)

*"You have a masters degree, I really hope you're planning on using it, it's such a waste of money if you just stay home with a baby."

*"You are planning on staying home right?"

Seriously. I am 19 weeks pregnant and already I have received ALL of these comments/questions. I can only imagine how much worse it gets when the sweet baby is finally out of me! I do understand, sometimes these questions are just conversation starters and well-intentioned people are curious--they aren't meant to be pushing an opinion on me. But honestly, for the most part, I struggle to understand how it is anyone's business if I choose to avoid lunch meat while pregnant, or if I plan on vaccinating my kiddos or not. To just about every question I have responded with "my husband and I are going to talk things over, and with the counsel of our doctor whom I trust completely, and our baby's pediatrician, we'll make a decision for our family and child together." I'm not making my decisions in a vacuum, but I also don't feel the need to consult every person I've ever met who has had kids, or the blogosphere of Mommy Bloggers to figure out what total strangers did for their kids in order to decide what I want to do for mine.

I have decided that being a mom these days must be to live in a constant state of feeling inadequate or inferior to other moms. Never before in history have we had so many avenues to critique one another's choices, or so much information (and, I would argue, sometimes misinformation) at our fingertips--constantly causing us to question the choices we've made for our kids. Where the church used to be a place of support for parents, because most families did things similar ways, it has now become another place of competition among moms, competition that gets intensely personal. I've personally seen friendships disintegrate because people's parenting choices were so drastically different they no longer had anything to really talk about that didn't result in intense conversation/conflict. That makes me sad. Especially because I think we have lost sight of some of the "bigger issues."

We live in a country where some moms have the luxury to debate the pros and cons of feeding a child only organic food but many many moms (right here in our own cities!) still literally have to scrounge each day for any kind of food for their kids. We live in a world where some of us can debate whether or not preschool is helpful, or whether to send our kids to public schools vs. homeschooling them, but millions of moms have to decide which child they are going to educate because they literally can't afford to send both kids to school. We live in a world where some of us have the "luxury" to argue about the pros and cons of vaccinations while other moms watch their children die each day from preventable diseases or contaminated water--moms who would probably kill to have access to some of the vaccinations and medications we have here in our country. Moms discuss, argue, debate, and fight with one another (in person, in the blogosphere, and on talk shows) over hundreds of topics but I think we forget that around the world there are millions of moms literally fighting for the survival of their families.  I wonder what would happen if we were able to approach one another with bigger questions. Instead of "oh my gosh! You're getting an epidural??" what would happen if we said "Okay, we made different child birth choices and both had healthy babies. Now, how can we join together to help those in our community who are pregnant and haven't had access to prenatal vitamins, or proper nutrition or calcium or ultra sounds or any health care choices?" Why do we have to fight with one another instead of banding together to make sure all the kids in our neighborhoods have the privileges our own children have?  As we continue in our parenting journeys how can we use our words to encourage other moms in their choices, even when those choices are different than our own?  We have enough battles to fight, it's time we stopped fighting one another. 

They Said I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry. Probably the toughest short sentence to say for most of us. We don't apologize well, to those we live with and love, much less to total strangers. Yet, back in June, apologize is exactly what a group of Christians did. Every June, Gay Pride Day is an event that occurs in most cities, celebrating people's pride in their various sexual orientations with parades, rallies and other such events. Flamboyant costumes, streakers, music, dancing, floats--and pretty much anything under the sun is fair game to show up at a Pride event. Also always present are Christians. Generally with angry protesting signs in hand. Messages such as "God hates people like you!" "You're going to hell!" "Homosexuality is a sin!" are always found lining the streets of Pride parades. And of course, this is what makes the nightly news. This is the image of Christians so many non-Christians (especially people who are part of the GLBT community) have when they think about people who claim to follow Jesus. No wonder they don't want to have anything to do with us. I wouldn't either. I've had conversations with people who are gay about this very issue. "Sarah, if that's really what God thinks of me, why should I want to have anything to do with Him? If that's really how his followers are going to treat me, why would I want to join them or get to know them?" Countless men and women have turned away from their Savior because the Church as a whole can't seem to figure out how to see past a person's outward behavior. (Yet, we turn a blind eye when someone in our congregation buys their third Lexus but there are people in our community who are still hungry. But that is a whole different post...)

A group of Christians who are taking seriously the idea that Jesus calls us to go out and love others had an idea. At this past year's Pride Parade in Chicago, a group of about 30 young adults from various Chicago churches showed up in matching t-shirts with signs of their own. Their t-shirts were black, and simply read "I'm Sorry." Their signs were a bit different than other "Christian" signs found at the parade that day. Their signs read: "I'm sorry for how the church has hurt you." "I am sorry Christians have judged you." "I used to be a bible-thumping homophobe, I'm sorry." The impact was enormous. These 30 people became the talk of the event. People in the parade waved, yelled "thank you!", blew kisses, ran over to hug them and even led to some follow up conversations between people in the parade and those wearing the t-shirts.

Every time I see Christians on the news picketing something, holding up rude signs, or even resorting to violence and hate crimes in "Jesus' name," I want to run the other way. I don't want the word "Christian" anywhere near me. These folks give me hope. These are the kind of Christians I want to hang out with--people who take seriously the call to love first. I am not saying I'm in favor of homosexual behavior, because I'm not. I believe strongly that God created us male and female for a reason. But I also believe strongly that every single one of us is a sinner, redeemed and saved only by the grace of God, not because of any works we could do. So to be on the side of casting stones isn't our "right" or our place. We've all got stuff in our lives that doesn't line up so well with how God asks us to live, and until we figure out how to follow him perfectly, maybe we should practice our apologizing instead of our condemning.

To read more about this event, click here.

Hunger

I'm finding myself growing more and more hungry lately. Hungry for Jesus. Hungry to know him more, to follow him, even when that feels terrifying. There's a stirring deep in my soul for more. It's been a long, long time since I've felt this, felt such a desire to not just talk about Jesus, or write about Jesus, but to really know him, to see him, to touch him, to follow in his footsteps. And I am longing to see others know him, and come to love him too.

I long for this world to be different, I deeply desire to see change, to see those who have nothing finally receive their fair share, to see those who are wealthy give freely of their abundance instead of storing up treasures on earth while so many go hungry.

I wish with all my heart that the impression the world has of Christians was different. I hope for the day when the "religious right" would stop yelling about abortion and homosexuality and begin to see that "family values" and being "pro-life" should mean just as much energy and anger towards the fact that millions of children don't have food, or health care, or clean water in this world--that these are family issues too, these are pro-life issues as well.

This world is a mess, and this past week I have been hit hard with a desire to pray for change, for something to happen, for things to be different. I want to see our churches start to BE the people of God, to stop worrying about church attendance and the latest ways to "grow" or be "relevant" and start thinking deeply about the fact that "liturgy" actually means "service"--our worship service ought to be just that, serving. I had this sense while at youth group last week that I wanted more for these kids. I wasn't interested in their whining about playing link-arm tag one more time, I want to see them go deeper, and I don't know how to help them do that, and that bothers me. I'm sick of the status quo. God's calling us to a new place, and even though I am scared, I want to follow. I want to be part of something new, something bigger than myself, something eternal. And I don't know what to do with this, other than say "okay God, I'm here, I'm willing, and I'm ready to do what you call me to." And then to pray I hear him when he calls.