Just Keep Showing Up

While visiting my parent's church this morning I had taken up my usual post these days--standing in the narthex bouncing a baby while listening to the service on the speakers in the ceiling.  As I stood gently shushing and bouncing my little guy, attempting to convince him to close his eyes, I heard two things that caught my attention.  The first was the unmistakable  hiccuping and shaky breaths of a toddler trying to stop crying.  The second was an angry sounding dad.  I turned to look and saw a little boy of about two being carried down the hallway in his dad's arms while his dad gruffly said "you just blew it in church big time.  You'll be lucky if I ever let you back in church again!"  I have no idea what the little guy did, what drastic offense was committed to warrant such a response, but my heart caught in my throat as I heard these words.  Everything in me wanted to remind this dad that the one place his little guy SHOULD be able to mess up is in church!  Imagine if that were our philosophy.  "You can come in here to worship, but ONLY if you haven't messed up."  I would think there would be an awful lot of empty pews on Sunday mornings.  There is grace.  There is so much grace at the altar of our Lord.  And oh I wanted to tell that little boy it was okay.  He could have another chance.  Jesus wants to see him there next week.  And the next.

Now I understand the desire to train our children to behave properly in worship.  I agree, it's important, and my husband and I are doing our best (and failing fairly miserably most weeks) at helping our 3 year old make it even through the children's message without causing a disruption. I was the kind of kid that quietly sat through a full length live musical at the age of 2.  Sitting through church each week wasn't that difficult for the most part. But my little one...well he's another story.  To be honest, there are some weeks, if I'm solo with the two boys, that it's just easier to take him straight to his Sunday School room rather than deal with a preschooler's antics in a relatively quiet sanctuary.  But week after week we keep trying, knowing that someday he will be able to sit until the children's sermon.  And then someday he'll be able to sit until the sermon.  And then through the sermon.  Because I want my boys to learn proper behavior, I want them to learn to discipline themselves and quiet their bodies, hearts, and minds to enter into worship.  That day will come, I have no doubt.  More than that though, more than I want my child to sit quietly, I want him to know without a shadow of a doubt that when he feels like he has messed up big time in life, the church is the one place he can always go.  I want him to know our Heavenly Father is waiting with open arms for him to show up week after week, wiggles and all, to clap along with his extended family of faith, to loudly shout amen! a half second after everyone else does because that's the only word of the prayer he knows.  I think sometimes adults need to see little ones in worship to remind them of a few things in life.  Worship doesn't always have to be such a solemn and serious occasion.  Laughter, joy, dancing, and loud cries are all found throughout scripture as worship is mentioned.  God has a sense of humor!  He gave us the gift of laughter and I fear that in many communities this gift is often put on the back burner in favor of more "serious" behavior.  I also think we need little ones who misbehave in worship because we need to see that in God's eyes, our own behavior isn't any different.  We all mess up.  We all speak when we should be silent at times.  We all say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Jesus promises us we won't taste the kingdom of heaven until we adopt the posture of a child--curious, open hearted, exuberant, honest, and trusting.  Those things belong in worship, and I fear many of us have set these things aside as we have aged in effort to be proper and well-behaved.

Last Sunday our little guy bolted down the center aisle in the middle of the service and daddy had to chase him for a full lap around the sanctuary as a song was sung--Aidan laughing gleefully the whole time.  After the service I was so touched when several folks came up to me and said "that was awesome, we need more spontaneous moments like that, that was the best thing! You're doing a good job mom, just keep coming, keep trying."  I hope that little boy from this morning hears that message from somewhere, that he learns Jesus is always saying to us, no matter how old we are, "keep coming my child, keep trying, you're doing great, just keep showing up, wiggles and all."